Back then, I’d been on my healing journey for eight years and had made great progress. But I hadn’t realized how the trauma in my abusive childhood was sabotaging my marriage. I was still defensive, disconnected, and afraid. Our arguments made me feel like we were toddlers kicking sand at each other in a sandbox. It was awful!
One day, after another long standoff, David said he wanted a divorce. I can still remember where I was standing in the kitchen when he made that announcement. I froze. My entire body went numb, and I could barely breathe. I was in shock.
Even though he’d triggered a flood of panic responses from my childhood, a strange sense of peace came over me. It was one of those profound revelation moments. I realized I was here on earth to learn about Love. Suddenly, deep in my spirit, I knew this was my purpose in life.
That was a huge turning point for me. I decided if my marriage was supposed to end, so be it. But I wanted it to end in peace and with David knowing how much I loved him.
When I could breathe again, I told him I understood. He deserved to be with someone who made him feel loved. I suggested we get professional help. After that, if he still felt he would be happier with someone else, I would let him go. That was really hard for me to say, but it’s how much I loved him.
Things turned around quickly after that. David didn’t leave. Instead, we went to couples therapy to learn about healthy communication and how to love ourselves.
It worked! Today, we’re best friends, and he’s my greatest supporter. We still practice those important communication skills we learned years ago. And I’m still devoted to Love. After all, it’s my reason for being here.
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