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Are Your Coping Strategies Toxic?

7/27/2015

4 Comments

 
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Maybe you’re a survivor of child sexual abuse, and you need support to move forward on your healing journey.  But you haven’t taken that step.  Why?  Is it because you’re terrified you’ll have to confront painful memories, and you just can’t do that?

If so, I’ve got good news for you.  To heal from the trauma of child sexual abuse, it isn’t necessary to relive painful memories.  Instead, it’s more important to stay in the present moment and understand how the abuse is damaging your adult life. 

For example, what unhealthy coping strategies did you develop in your childhood as a result of the abuse?  What false beliefs did you create because you were too young to process the emotional and physical pain of the abuse?  How are these toxic thought patterns sabotaging your adult life? 

The present is what you’ll need to focus on.  Not the past.  That’s a relief, isn’t it?

Of course, there will be emotional moments.  That’s a given.  You’re rewiring thought patterns you’ve relied on for years or decades, and it’s not easy.  But it’s doable with patience and commitment. 

Even so, you’ll need a plan to deal with the stress caused by challenging these toxic coping strategies.  If you’re prepared, your transformation will be more comfortable.

Once you move past the fear of breaking the silence and realize you’re not alone, this process gets easier.  Each step is more rewarding than the last.

Build a good support system around yourself and keep moving forward on your healing journey.  You will heal, little by little.  And one day you’ll make the shift from survivor to thriver. 

Wow, what a glorious day that will be!

If you’d like to talk about your toxic coping strategies, schedule a free 30-minute coaching session with me.  I’m always happy to listen!

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Are you stuck because of an old toxic belief?  Would you like to move forward again on your healing journey?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to do that.  Follow (this link) to reserve a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal from child sexual abuse.  Reserve your spot NOW!
 
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4 Comments
Susan Hall
7/28/2015 06:33:01 am

I am a survivor of CSA however I have to yet heal from all of the trauma I endured. I have not yet learned what it is about me that gives a green light to controlling & abusive men. I continue to make bad decisions in my adulthood & so I continue getting hurt (whether it be physical, emotional, or sexual).

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Teresa
7/28/2015 07:04:27 pm

You are not alone.. just others are silent.. you are fortunate to have the ability to see the connection of how it has affected you. . I still haven't found that link. Though how it has affected you sounds similar to my symptoms... II don't feel any pain from the childhood events I went through.. they were silent experiences of sexual abuse.. i don't recall pain as i was not being physically hurt.. i was fondled... but I remeber them clearly.. i feel enfuriated when I hear stories of other children being molested by adults.. i want to kill these people! But yet when I look at my own memories I feel nothing! I need to discover the ways this has affected me. What should I look for? I am ugnorant in the subject matter but would like to know how you were able to find a link between your symptoms and the cause as child abuse?

Reply
Svava
7/30/2015 12:12:24 pm

Hi Teresa, I am glad you commented to encourage Susan. You are right that it is a big step to see the connection. In order to survive our abuse/trauma we disconnect from our feelings and pain. We minimize our own pain but can feel the outrage of others pain. It takes time to finally connect with the truth of our own feelings - chances are this shows up in other areas of your life too - since we can not choose to only turn of the "bad" feelings - we often also shut out feeling any "good" feelings - deep love, compassion, joy, peace. I am happy to chat with you - to help guide you to some awareness practices that can help you understand the links and symptoms. Thank you again for your comment.

Svava
7/30/2015 12:06:51 pm

Hi Susan, I understand how you feel - I used to attract older men when I was just a child that would abuse me, I did not understand how or why. Now I do. I learned to get my needs met by giving access to my body. I was just a child and desperate for love and attention. Part of the healing is to understand where and why we make these decisions, and with support learn to navigate life while changing our internal belief system. I would not have been able to do this without long term support. Send me a note if you would like to chat. Hang in there. You learned to be this way, you can learn to be different, I promise. It takes time. I believe in you!

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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