Answering these questions isn’t an easy task for a survivor of child sexual abuse. When you were young, you probably kept your distance from people. It was safer that way, because you weren’t taught how to recognize safe people.
But that’s only part of the problem. The subconscious can be your friend or your enemy. You were horribly abused as a child, which taught you about the kind of people you DON’T want in your life. Yet these were the people you were exposed to year after year against your will. Because of that, they’re the only ones who make your subconscious feel comfortable. And the subconscious is all about comfort.
This explains why, as an adult, you continue to attract toxic people into your life. It’s also the reason why most of your relationships are unhealthy and end in disaster. Your subconscious is simply doing whatever it can to remain in its toxic comfort zone.
Because of this, your relationships follow the same unhealthy pattern year after year. You meet new people. You have a lot in common. They look trustworthy. You think these people are your friends. And they are for a while.
Then something bad happens. A boundary is crossed, and they hurt you or betray you. But they don’t seem to think there’s anything wrong with what they’ve done to you or how they’ve turned against you. It’s a vicious, confusing cycle. Worst of all, this sudden turn of events takes you by surprise. You never see it coming.
Let’s change that today. Here’s how to recognize safe people. They earn your trust by:
· Showing up and walking their talk
· Not giving up on you if you aren’t perfect
· Supporting and validating you
· Adding positive energy to your life
· Blessing you with their spiritual outlook
· Giving as much to you as you give to them
There are lots of good, safe people in the world. They’re as committed to your health and wellbeing as they are to their own. Learn how to recognize them. Surround yourself with these kinds of friends. When you do, all your relationships will blossom in delightful ways!
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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? Svava Brooks is a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a certified CSA instructor and an Abuse Survivor Coach. She offers private coaching sessions by phone or skype for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. For more information, email svava@educate4change.com or call 619-889-6366. Let Svava help you move forward again on your healing journey!
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