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I Hear You!

7/20/2015

7 Comments

 
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More than anything, survivors of child sexual abuse want to be heard, validated, and believed.  Keeping the abuse you suffered a secret hurts.  You did it because you couldn’t tell anyone, or when you did no one believed you.

Still, this betrayal of trust was devastating.  It not only damaged the child you were but also crippled the adult you’ve become.  As a result of that childhood betrayal, you built a wall around that secret.  When you did, you formed the belief that no one would ever listen to you or believe you.


This toxic belief is holding your adult life hostage.  It’s become a dysfunctional part of your identity.  It says: You’re an adult now.  You’re so kind or helpful or giving or such a hard worker.  You’re doing just fine all by yourself.  You don’t need ANYONE, right?

Wrong.

Think back to your childhood.  Remember the last time you tried to tell someone about the abuse, and they didn’t believe you?  The rejection was crushing.  That was the day you decided you were unlovable and unworthy of help.  You decided to go it alone.  Forever.  I mean, who needs these people, right?  Not you!

That childhood belief is preventing you from healing as an adult.  Your brain is wired to keep you safe.  It won’t allow you to be hurt like that again.  Every time you try to change, that old belief pops up and stops you.

Don’t let it.  The only way to heal is to reach out for support again and again and again.  Each time you do, your brain will shift into “protection mode.”  Ignore it.  Keep seeking support. 

Soon you’ll hear what you’ve been craving all your life.  People will say: I hear you!  I’m so sorry that happened to you!  How can I help and support you?  I believe you!

Silence is holding you hostage.  Break free and connect with a therapist or a coach.  Keep reaching out.  Find a way to be heard.  Tell your story to people who believe you.

If you need help with this, schedule a free 30-minute session with me.  I’m always here to listen.  Why?  Because I believe you.  I really do!

********

Are you stuck because of an old toxic belief?  Would you like to move forward again on your healing journey?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to do that.  Follow (this link) to reserve a FREE 30-minute session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal from child sexual abuse.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on Svava’s email list?  If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

7 Comments
Marjorie Bearing
7/21/2015 07:26:11 am

I have only been talking about my sexual abuse openly with my family for 9 months, and I have found out that my children were abused by my ex-husband. My 15 year old son is having the hardest time and I am struggling to help him because of my own fears and issues. We live in a remote area with very little access to professional help for I or my son.

Reply
Suzzi Snydar
7/21/2015 10:55:46 am

Marjorie you are brave and your son is s hero to discuss his abuse . There are lots of online resources available , I encourage you to search for them . Also---sign up for the free session withe Svava she is a wealth of knowledge and encouragement. You are not alone and neither are you children - you can process this portion of your story and live victoriously ... Hugs to you and your family ... Suzzi

Reply
Svava
7/21/2015 12:45:27 pm

I am glad you are here and sharing Marjorie - Like Suzzi shared, you are very brave and clearly a good mom with your son opening up to you. You are not alone. Keep your focus on healing you and just listen and validate for him, the best you can. I know it is hard when it is your child, I get it. What kind of resources are available for him in your area since he is a minor? Perhaps they can provide online or phone support for your son, since you are remote. If you are feeling alone, I can plug you into closed online groups - peer to peer, and I also know a mom (that has your story) that is an advocate for other moms. Just send me a note if you would like an introduction. Here is a book that I recommend for you by Karen E Fennell, Straying toward Truth. I think you will find it helpful. Again I am glad you are here and sharing - you are not alone. You will get through this. Much love to you and your son.

Reply
Beverly Berzins
7/21/2015 07:16:37 pm

Spot on this made me a little upset so true holding all
the pain because there was no one who helped you as a child and you lost faith in humanity. And was forced to rely solely on your inner self for survival. You stand alone well you stood alone isolated that alone is devastating to a child to recognise you have no one to turn too.

Reply
Svava
7/24/2015 03:05:08 am

I hear you Beverly - I am sorry to hear that was done to you too. I hope you have continued your healing and found that there is support and people to turn to now. Let me know if you still struggle with that belief, I am here to help. Sending you lots of love, Svava

Reply
Leah
7/23/2015 06:26:01 am

Have talked about being sezually abused and have done a lot of healing. What's hardest for me is not having self-love or self-worth. Therapy has helped but desperate to be loved which I am by so many but i have learned I don't believe or accept it because I don't have love or worth for myself. HOW DO I GET IT?

Reply
Svava
7/24/2015 03:15:23 am

Hi Leah, I am glad to hear you have done a lot of work and are willing to continue the journey. The key is self acceptance - and how do you get it? Daily practice of doing things that are good and loving for you. Daily self care, kindness and positive affirmation to counter the negative belief that you are not worthy of it. I had to get help to do this to help me shift the beliefs that I was unacceptable and unworthy of help and self worth. I believe in you - it takes time but you will get there - Let me know if you need additional help.

Reply



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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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