Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

A Sure Sign You’re Healing!

3/29/2016

I hear this from my clients almost every week:

I want to heal, so I can help others.
Now that I’ve healed a little, I want to help others heal.
I know how hurt, frustrated, and isolated I was, so I want to give hope to others.

I love hearing this! It’s an awesome sign. Do you know why? Because it means you’re healing. Yay!

It’s a sign you’ve passed the halfway mark on your healing journey. You’ve freed yourself from the burden of shame, and you’re comfortable sharing your story with others. You’re no longer controlled by triggers. You’re able to listen to someone else’s story, while holding a safe place for yourself. You can handle discomfort and celebrate imperfection.

No need to be in control all the time. No need to hide any longer. No need to feel alone, because you’re not. You’ve connected with the deep parts of yourself, other people, nature, God, and all that is.

When you reach this stage on your healing journey, you want to help others find their way to that divine connection, as well. Congratulations!!

Best of all, you’re already helping others. You are! Just by being a loving, kind, grounded person, you’re an example of how to live a meaningful, wholehearted life.

To do more, you can use your story to help others by creating a blog, support group, online community, or forum. You can obtain certification in an area that interests you. You can teach kids or adults about child sexual abuse safety. You can become an abuse advocate. There’s so much you can do!

If you’re ready to pay it forward, let me know. I’m happy to suggest additional ways you can help other abuse survivors. My goal is to help more people help more people. None of us can do this alone.

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Are you struggling with your healing journey? I can help you take that next step. Just follow (this link) to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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My Personal Story: Why I’m Devoted to Love

3/21/2016

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Years ago, when David and I lived on the east coast, our marriage was in shambles. It was plagued with constant disagreements and misunderstandings, which usually ended in standoffs that lasted for days. Ugh!

Back then, I’d been on my healing journey for eight years and had made great progress. But I hadn’t realized how the trauma in my abusive childhood was sabotaging my marriage. I was still defensive, disconnected, and afraid. Our arguments made me feel like we were toddlers kicking sand at each other in a sandbox. It was awful!

One day, after another long standoff, David said he wanted a divorce. I can still remember where I was standing in the kitchen when he made that announcement. I froze. My entire body went numb, and I could barely breathe. I was in shock.

Even though he’d triggered a flood of panic responses from my childhood, a strange sense of peace came over me. It was one of those profound revelation moments. I realized I was here on earth to learn about Love. Suddenly, deep in my spirit, I knew this was my purpose in life.

That was a huge turning point for me. I decided if my marriage was supposed to end, so be it. But I wanted it to end in peace and with David knowing how much I loved him.

When I could breathe again, I told him I understood. He deserved to be with someone who made him feel loved. I suggested we get professional help. After that, if he still felt he would be happier with someone else, I would let him go. That was really hard for me to say, but it’s how much I loved him.

Things turned around quickly after that. David didn’t leave. Instead, we went to couples therapy to learn about healthy communication and how to love ourselves.

It worked! Today, we’re best friends, and he’s my greatest supporter. We still practice those important communication skills we learned years ago. And I’m still devoted to Love. After all, it’s my reason for being here.

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Are you struggling with your healing journey? I can help you take that next step. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Trusting Yourself, Trusting God

3/13/2016

6 Comments

Lately, I’ve realized trusting God isn’t one big goal you finally achieve, and then you’re done. Instead, just when you think you trust God 100%, he reveals a bunch of small areas in which you should trust him, but you don’t. Yikes!

It's shocking, really, because you thought you trusted completely. However, trusting God is a lifelong process. Human nature is very complex in areas of trust, especially if you were an abused child. We think we already know this, but we don't.

The same is true of your healing journey. Trusting yourself doesn’t happen all at once. It goes through stages. This is because our childhood was shaped by distrust, trauma, and betrayal. So we have to teach ourselves how to trust. It takes a while.

Trust is about relationships: a relationship with yourself, a relationship with the world, a relationship with other people, and a relationship with God. Trusting yourself leads to trusting God. Eventually, you begin to feel like everything is going to work out, even the aspects of your life you can’t control. You get to the point where you trust yourself enough to let go of those things, so you can trust in God’s plan for your life.

I was reminded of that last week when I drove across Oregon to provide facilitator training for Darkness to Light. I had originally turned this invitation down because my schedule is just too full right now. However, when I did, I felt a prompting in my spirit. A few weeks later the invitation was offered again. This time I accepted.

The minute I arrived, I knew in my spirit I was supposed to be there. That’s all I needed to know. God has been teaching me to listen to those promptings in my spirit and to follow his guidance.

Slowly, I’m learning that trusting God is much like trusting yourself. The big difference is trusting God is a lifelong process. It’s like reading a book with 10,000 pages in it, and every page is a small area of trust. What a fun adventure, right? I think so!

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Are you struggling with your healing journey? I can help you take that next step. Just follow (this link) to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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You’re Exactly Where God Wants You To Be!

3/6/2016

14 Comments

Last week, I talked about child sexual abuse to a group of violent offenders in a state prison. We met in the prison chapel, where I sat in a circle with twenty inmates. I’ve told my personal story of child sexual abuse hundreds of times, but on that day I really wanted to connect. It was incredibly important to me.

All of these inmates had been deeply hurt and had hurt others. I began by telling them there’s no difference between us. I’ve been hurt and hurt others, too. In many ways we’re the same.

The hardest part of this journey is forgiving yourself for all the things you’ve done. In order to heal, I told them I had to accept the fact I’m a vulnerable human being. Like everyone else, I learn by making mistakes, some more painful than others. Part of my healing journey was facing my fears, accepting my broken parts, and shining a light on those dark places.

Afterwards, the inmates really opened up to me and asked some wonderful questions. They wanted to know how I healed, how I dealt with my anger, and how I talked to my kids about child sexual abuse. Many of the dads were in tears. It was a deeply moving experience.

I feel blessed for the way in which the twists and turns in my life prepared me for that moment. I’m so grateful for how our personal challenges teach us to help ourselves first and then use what we’ve learned to help others.

This journey called “Life” is full of surprises. No doubt about it! But if you put your trust in God, he will guide you exactly where you’re supposed to go. It will be the perfect place at the perfect time. Always.

For me, that perfect place was in a prison chapel last week, sitting in a circle, helping twenty hurting souls take their first step toward healing. God is amazing, isn’t he?!
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Are you struggling with your healing journey? I can help you take that next step. Just follow (this link) to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

14 Comments

A Sure Sign You’re Healing!

My Personal Story: Why I’m Devoted to Love

Trusting Yourself, Trusting God

You’re Exactly Where God Wants You To Be!

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