Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

The Answer to an Abused Child’s Prayers

4/27/2015

This could be YOU. You could be the answer to a sexually abused child’s prayers. You could be the angel these kids desperately pray for every day. It’s true!

This is a photo from my April Facilitator Training session for Darkness to Light Stewards of Children (D2L). These training sessions are open to any responsible adult who’d like to teach others how to prevent, respond, and report child sexual abuse (CSA).

D2L is evidence-based and the only nationally recognized prevention training in the U.S. The facilitator session lasts all day and includes a workbook, additional materials, and a certificate to provide D2L training in your community.

I love these Facilitator Training sessions because they give me the chance to duplicate myself. In just one day I can equip other adults with the tools, skills, education, and self-confidence they need to make a significant change in their communities.

Everyone who signs up for D2L Facilitator Training is a leader. That’s a given. My job is to help them figure out what kind of leader they are. We do that by identifying their main strength, something of deep meaning to them, a core value they already live. As we progress through the session, they realize they are indeed strong, courageous, determined, fearless, compassionate, generous, diligent, loyal, caring people.

Then it’s time to sharpen their individual skills, learn the specifics of CSA prevention, and practice what we teach. By the end of the day they’ve been encouraged and empowered, as well as thoroughly educated. They now have all the tools they need to go back to their communities and teach their first D2L class. Very exciting!

If you’d like to become the answer to the prayers of the sexually abused children in your community, send me an email. I’m in the process of scheduling the next D2L Facilitator Training session.

I’d love for you to attend!

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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? I offer private coaching sessions by phone or skype ($55.00 per hour) for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. To set up an appointment, call 619-889-6366 or email svava@educate4change.com today. Take the time to invest in yourself. You’re worth it!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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You Mean I Have to Rescue MYSELF? Eeeek!

4/20/2015

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Realizing how damaged you are after child sexual abuse can be overwhelming. Sometimes the toxic effect of this kind of abuse is so massive even the thought of change seems impossible. That’s when your “rescue” response kicks in. It would be so much easier if someone could just come along and rescue you, wouldn’t it?

Hey, where is that White Knight when you need him?

Well, he didn’t ride in on his white horse when you were sexually abused, did he? No. But I have good news. There is someone who can rescue you now.

YOU!

All victims of child sexual abuse are broken in one way or another. Some are better at hiding the damage than others. They just work twice as hard at numbing or repressing the hurt, which only makes the situation worse. Why? Because you can’t tackle a problem until you’ve identified it.

You’ll heal much faster if you’re committed to learning everything you can about yourself and your situation. The process is a little like peeling an onion. Every time you heal one area of your life another dysfunctional issue comes to light. And that’s okay. It’s supposed to be that way. Healing isn’t one large victory. It’s a chain of small ones.

The daily practice of rescuing yourself begins with an action plan. List not only your destination but also the steps you plan to take to get there. Make sure this plan includes professional support. You can’t do this on your own. It’s just not possible. The damage from child sexual abuse is too extensive.

Also, develop the habit of paying attention to your intuition (that still, small voice inside you). As long as you remain true to this inner voice, you’re on the right track.

How about that? After all these years you’ve finally been rescued. And by someone you trust more than anyone. Someone who has always had your best interest at heart. YOU!

That’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it? Now there’s no limit to what you can achieve. You’ve become your own White Knight. Time to turn that horse around and gallop toward the biggest rainbow you can find. It’s yours!

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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? I offer private coaching sessions by phone or skype ($55.00 per hour) for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. To set up an appointment, call 619-889-6366 or email svava@educate4change.com today. Take the time to invest in yourself. You’re worth it!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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The Toxic Legacy of Self-Denial

4/13/2015

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For this third week of National Child Abuse Prevention month, I’d like to talk about self-denial. Part of surviving child sexual abuse is learning to deny the reality of what’s happening to us.

To do that, we made up stories about our families and ourselves. It’s how we survive. We push away the reality that someone we love and trust would hurt us again and again in this horrible, painful way.

One of the stories we create is that the abuse is our fault. We must be bad kids, or we must have done something wrong to merit this kind of horrendous “punishment.” So we try harder to do better. Perfectionism becomes our goal. But that doesn’t work either. The abuse continues no matter what.

When you deny reality, you deny yourself. Unfortunately, this is a toxic legacy we carry from our traumatized childhood into adulthood. It warps our core beliefs about life, the world, and everyone around us. When we deny ourselves, we disconnect from our hearts and our needs. We deny who we truly are.

Yet it feels like such a risk to face reality. And it is. When we allow the truth about our past to unfold it changes everything. It changes what we’ve always believed about ourselves, our personal relationships, and the future.

But this is a risk we must take. No matter how much you’d like to resist, you must step outside your comfort zone. I know how that feels. It’s like someone pulled the rug out from under you. Yet you have to do it. It’s the only way to end the pain, fear, anxiety, and frustration that poison your life.

So keep moving forward. Trust the process. You are an amazing human being, and you have been gifted with the tools and talent to do this. You have!

One day you’ll look in the mirror, and you’ll realize you truly love who you’ve become. But to do that, you need to stop denying yourself. You need to ask yourself this question: “Who am I?” The answer is the place where your healing journey begins.

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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? I offer private coaching sessions by phone or skype ($55.00 per hour) for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. To set up an appointment, call 619-889-6366 or email svava@educate4change.com today. Take the time to invest in yourself. You’re worth it!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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What is Darkness to Light?

4/6/2015

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Because April is National Child Abuse Prevention month, I thought I’d tell you a little about the work I do with Darkness to Light.

Darkness to Light Stewards of Children is an organization dedicated to empowering people to prevent child sexual abuse. Its programs raise awareness by educating adults about the steps they can take to prevent, recognize, and react responsibly when faced with the reality of child sexual abuse.

I’m a certified instructor for Darkness to Light, and I train facilitators. I love this work! Why? Because it allows me to teach people what they need to know, so they can return to their communities and educate others about how to keep kids safe. Darkness to Light is proven, evidence-based, and it works.

Here’s another reason why I’m such a big fan of this program.

Ten years ago it wasn’t easy for me to talk about myself and the painful abuse I suffered as a child. But I was deeply committed to this mission. It had become a goal of mine. I knew, without a doubt, this kind of training would have made all the difference in my childhood if the adults around me had known how to respond and keep me safe. Darkness to Light gave me the tools I needed to achieve this goal and become a confident public speaker.

But we all need to do our part. Join the movement, get educated, and share what you’ve learned. You could be saving a child’s life. Maybe a child in your family. If you’re interested in more information about Darkness to Light, you’ll find it here: http://www.d2l.org.

As long as children are being sexually abused in this country, I’ll continue to provide Darkness to Light training wherever I can. If you’re in San Diego, my next facilitator training session is April 11th. There’s still room if you’d like to join me. Just check out this page on my website for more details: http://www.educate4change.com/services.html

Remember, we are stronger together. We really are.

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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? I offer private coaching sessions by phone or skype ($55.00 per hour) for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. To set up an appointment, call 619-889-6366 or email svava@educate4change.com today. Take the time to invest in yourself. You’re worth it!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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The Answer to an Abused Child’s Prayers

You Mean I Have to Rescue MYSELF? Eeeek!

The Toxic Legacy of Self-Denial

What is Darkness to Light?

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