Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

Do You Know How Courageous You Are?!

4/23/2017

Abuse and trauma survivors are incredibly strong people. We know our strength is what helped us survive, and it’s what keeps us going now. Yet we know something is missing.

This missing link is courage. We know we’re strong. But we’ve never allowed ourselves to realize that we’re also courageous people. And we always have been.

That’s because courage is risky. The only thing we’ve ever wanted is what we never had as abused children: safety. Risk makes you vulnerable. No thanks, right?

Hey, I can relate. I knew I was a strong person to have survived over a decade of child sexual abuse. But courageous? Me? Nah, no way. I was willing to work hard on my healing journey, but courage felt too risky and vulnerable. Nope, that’s not me.

Somehow we can’t see courage in ourselves. But it’s easy to see it in others. And that’s where you need to start. Think of someone you believe is not only strong but also courageous. Adopt this person as your role model.

Next, think about what makes this person courageous? It might be her fearless personal authenticity or her honesty. Maybe he’s taken a stand against injustice by his actions or words. Maybe she’s simply chosen the road less travelled. What is it about this person that touches your heart and earns your admiration?

Guess what? Whatever it is that makes this person courageous is a quality you also possess. It’s true. When you choose to heal from abuse and trauma, reach out for support, open yourself to others in an online group for survivors, talk about your past, or receive comfort from other survivors, that’s an act of courage.

Allow the revelation of your courageousness to sink in. When you do, you’ll discover courage is actually a source of safety. Now it’s okay to let your guard down a little, ask for more support, love more, have more fun, and feel more gratitude for everything you’ve accomplished. Why? Because now you know you’re safe.

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Is it impossible for you to believe you’re a courageous person? Is courage a difficult concept for you to comprehend? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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What If I Don’t Know What I Want?

4/17/2017

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If 2017 has been an unusually busy year for you, I can totally relate! But for survivors of abuse, a hectic schedule isn’t something out of the ordinary. Too often it’s the norm.

An important milestone on your healing journey will be the realization that you’re ready to step off this hectic hamster wheel. If you’re tired of living in reaction mode, dashing from sunrise to sunset each day, trying to catch up but never achieving that goal, good for you! The desire to end your frantic pace is a major accomplishment.

But how do you stop this toxic merry-go-round? You simply change direction. Instead of trying to satisfy the wants and needs of everyone else in your life, you concentrate on satisfying your own.

Easier said than done for abuse survivors like us, right? We’re pros at knowing what we don’t want. But we’re clueless about what we do want. In fact, most of us have never considered asking ourselves important questions like:

What do I want?
What do I need?
What do I want my life to be about?

The abuse we suffered battered us with the false belief that we aren’t as valuable as everyone else. At our core, we feel we don’t deserve to relax, to do what brings us joy, or to make our needs a top priority.

Of course, none of this is true. Abuse is built on lies, and this is a big one. Every human being on the planet is valuable, regardless of what they’ve survived. And that includes YOU!

To determine what you want and need in life, the first step is gratitude. Think about everything you’re grateful for. When we appreciate all the good things in life, we appreciate the good things about ourselves.

Begin every morning with gratitude. This practice will help you gain more clarity about what you truly want and need. Then create a list of those things.

Here’s my challenge to you. Now that you have a list of your wants and needs, schedule at least one thing from this list every day.

When you’re ready to accept my challenge, you’ve reached another major milestone on your healing journey. Congratulations!
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Does your mind go blank every time someone asks you what YOU want in life? That’s not uncommon for survivors of abuse. But don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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What Does a Children’s Advocacy Center Do?

4/10/2017

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As you know, April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. On April 6, I was a keynote speaker at a fundraiser for a Children’s Advocacy Center in Oregon.

This was the second time I‘d been asked to speak at a fundraiser for a Children’s Advocacy Center, and I was truly honored to help in this way. They expected 400 people, and I talked about my sexually abusive childhood and the evolution of my healing journey.

I never appreciated the role of a Children’s Advocacy Center, until I worked as an advocate in Iceland years ago. That’s when I learned about the important services it provides to children in need and their families.

This is crucial for children, who have been sexually abused. When someone suspects child sexual abuse and files a report, the child is brought to a Children’s Advocacy Center for child-friendly interviewing by a specialist. Afterwards, a copy of the child’s recorded interview is given to every professional who needs to hear it.

This greatly minimizes the stressful impact an investigation has on the child. Before Children’s Advocacy Centers, the child had to testify over and over again to every person involved in the investigation. It was a very traumatic experience.

When I was a child, there were no Children’s Advocacy Centers to go to for help. Now they’re in almost every community. The last time I checked, there were 822 of these centers across the country. You can find your local Children’s Advocacy Center at the national website: http://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org

A Children’s Advocacy Center is important for you, too. Here’s the reason:

If you suspect child abuse, your first step should be to contact your local Children’s Advocacy Center.
These professionals will help you determine if your suspicion is correct or just normal childhood behavior.
If it is abuse, the center will assist you in taking the next step, which will be to call the police or protective services.

The work of your local Children’s Advocacy Center is invaluable. They not only educate your community about child abuse prevention but also offer services to help children and their families recover from abuse.

If what I’ve said in this blog post inspires you to join the prevention movement, consider donating or volunteering at your local center. They need all the help they can get, and they need it now!
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Are you a survivor of child abuse? Are you struggling with the effects of this kind of trauma? I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Why It’s So Hard to Talk About Child Abuse

4/3/2017

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April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Every year at this time I’m reminded of when I began educating people about how to prevent child sexual abuse.

Adults have a hard time talking about child abuse, especially child sexual abuse. That’s because not only is CSA a horrific violation of an innocent child’s trust but it’s also about sex. In our society, sex is not a topic most adults feel comfortable talking about in public.

When I decided to educate adults about CSA twelve years ago, I had no idea how I was going to accomplish this task. I just knew I would not have suffered in silence for so long as a child if the adults in my life had known how to talk openly about CSA.

Eventually, I became involved with Darkness to Light, which gave me the tools I needed to pursue my goal. I received permission to translate the D2L information booklet into Icelandic, and I distributed a copy to every home in Iceland. This is why I cofounded NGO in Iceland and how my public speaking career began. That booklet generated lots of opportunities to speak about CSA to concerned adults.

Yet, like I said, CSA is an uncomfortable topic for most adults. So how do I teach them to overcome their discomfort? Here’s what I do:

I never present the grim statistics about CSA without giving them the tools they need to cope with this horrifying information.
I offer plenty of hope, because we can make a difference one person at a time.
I show them how to talk about CSA and give them age-appropriate language.
I stress the benefits of CSA education: 1.) the other parents in your community will know you’re watching out for their kids too; 2.) abused children will feel safe talking to you about it; 3.) adult survivors will be encouraged to seek healing.

If you’d like to offer this kind of hope to the adults and children in your community, please visit www.d2l.org for more information about a Darkness to Light Stewards of Children training session near you. Or you can take this evidence-based training online at the D2L website.

You’ll never regret becoming educated about CSA. It gives you the tools you’ll need to save a child from years of pain, isolation, and shame. And that alone is priceless!

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Are you a survivor of child abuse? Are you struggling with the effects of this kind of trauma? I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Do You Know How Courageous You Are?!

What If I Don’t Know What I Want?

What Does a Children’s Advocacy Center Do?

Why It’s So Hard to Talk About Child Abuse

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