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Why It’s Important to be Perfectly Imperfect

5/31/2015

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I think of perfectionism and shame as the “terrible twins.”  You won’t find one without the other.  All perfectionists are hiding something.  If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be so hard on themselves and everyone else.  They could chill and realize no one is perfect.  Being perfectly imperfect is a good thing.  It’s normal.  It’s real life.

But perfectionists can’t see this.  They’re trapped on the hamster wheel of perfectionism.  It’s an endless cycle as exhausting for everyone in their lives as it is for them.

The victims of child sexual abuse work really hard to be perfect.  When you’re abused as a child, you blame yourself for what happened and sell your soul to keep that shameful secret. 

Eventually, it becomes a deep, core belief.  It pushes you to do better, to be better, to be perfect.  It tells you this is the only way you’ll ever be loved and protected.  It’s the only way to stop the abuse.

But it’s not.  Instead, you forget who you are.  You forget who you used to be before the abuse.  You forget what you used to like and what you used to want for yourself.

Still, that doesn’t stop you.  It just makes you try harder to be perfect enough to gain the approval and acceptance you crave.  You become the perfect student, the perfect athlete, the perfect kid.  You do all of this just to hide the shame of what your abuser is doing to you every week. 

But that’s not how the healing journey works.  There’s so much more to you than how well you can perform to please others.  There’s a valuable, creative, loving person inside you who longs to be genuine.

Let that person out.  It’s the real you.  Risk being vulnerable, sharing your struggles, and asking for support when you need it.  When you make the decision to create a life of your own choosing, you have to accept the fact you’re perfectly imperfect.  We all are.  And that’s okay.

Drop the heavy burden of perfectionism, spread your wings, and fly free.  Do it today.  It’s time.

********

Were you sexually abused as a child?  Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward?  Svava Brooks is a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a certified CSA instructor and an Abuse Survivor Coach.  She offers private coaching sessions by phone or skype for child sexual abuse survivors just like you.  For more information, email svava@educate4change.com or call 619-889-6366.  Let Svava help you move forward again on your healing journey!

Are you on Svava’s email list?  If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

 

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"It’s Time to “Take Your Power Back”

5/11/2015

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Guess what?  Tomorrow - May 13th, is the first day of my “Take Your Power Back” summit.  I’m so excited!!!  And you will be, too, when you see what I’ve done. 

For the last two months I’ve been working hard to create a video summit just for you.  It’s called the “Take Your Power Back” summit, and it features more than twenty interviews with professional therapists, coaches, teachers, experts, healers, and trauma specialists, who were willing to share their unique approach to healing and thriving after childhood trauma.

Best of all, this series of interviews is FREE.  All you have to do to participate in my summit is click on this link:

 
                                               http://www.takeyourpowerbacksummit.com/


To register, enter your name and email address in the box at the right or in the popup box.  And that’s it!

Here’s what you’ll learn from these extraordinary interviews:
 
·      How to eliminate negative thoughts about yourself

·      How to manage emotional, psychological, and physical triggers

·      How to change the way you think about what happened to you

·      How to reclaim your personal power

·      How to experience hope, peace, and joy again

·      How other abuse survivors learned to love themselves after trauma

·      Why you struggle with friendships and love relationships

·      Why you feel unworthy of love and success

·      How to stop feeling broken and ashamed

·      How to overcome PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

·      Why trying to be “perfect” isn’t the answer

·      How to understand you’re not the things that happened to you

·      How to move forward and create a happy, healthy life

·      How to rediscover the incredible person that you are


Awesome, isn’t it?  But there’s more.  Each of these experts also has a FREE gift for you.  These are really cool things, like books, coupons, e-courses, and tools to help you with your healing journey.

If you’re ready to reclaim your power and create the life you desire, this FREE summit could be just what you need to get started. 

Now you can see why I’m so excited, right?

I’ll be posting updates every day on my Facebook page about the summit interviews for that day.  I’ve also created an event page for this summit.  If you’re on Facebook, check it out:

https://www.facebook.com/events/362877237251036/

The “Take Your Power Back” summit starts tomorrow.  The first two interviews are with amazing Healers.  You’ll absolutely love what they say and the FREE gifts they have for you.

Register today, and I’ll see you tomorrow!

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Were you sexually abused as a child?  Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward?  Svava Brooks is a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a certified CSA instructor and an Abuse Survivor Coach.  She offers private coaching sessions by phone or skype for child sexual abuse survivors just like you.  For more information, email svava@educate4change.com or call 619-889-6366.  Let Svava help you move forward again on your healing journey!

Are you on Svava’s email list?  If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Is it Time to Divorce Your Family?

5/4/2015

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To survive growing up in a sexually abusive home, you had to deny what you witnessed, felt, and experienced.  You had to numb and repress it.  Like every child, you thought you could trust your family, the people who were supposed to love and care for you.  Instead, they hurt you and ignored you.

This is your reality as a sexually abused child.  This is your “truth.”  An important part of the healing process is to accept this truth on a conscious level.  However don’t make the mistake of seeking validation for the reality of your past from the family that ignored it.  You may be ready to heal, but that doesn’t mean they are. 

The sooner you stop seeking validation from the “wrong people,” the faster you’ll recover.  If the wrong people are your family, then it might be time to divorce them and walk away for a while. 

Healing is the process of identifying your negative beliefs and exchanging them for new, positive, empowering beliefs.  Going back to the people who refuse to validate your truth only reinforces those negative beliefs.

Your greatest support and validation will come from fellow survivors.  These are the people you meet online and locally in groups for the victims of child sexual abuse.  You’ll also receive tremendous support and guidance from professional Abuse Survivor Coaches, who are often abuse survivors themselves. 

These people are the ones who “get” where you’re coming from.  Your reality is their reality.  Your truth is their truth.

Sometimes you have to divorce the family you were born into and walk away.  Coaches and your fellow survivors are the ones who will validate your truth, nourish your soul, and support you on this exciting healing journey you’ve undertaken.  

Walk toward them.  They’re the “family” you can count on.

********

Were you sexually abused as a child?  Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward?  Svava Brooks is a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a certified CSA instructor and an Abuse Survivor Coach.  She offers private coaching sessions by phone or skype for child sexual abuse survivors just like you.  For more information, email svava@educate4change.com or call 619-889-6366.  Let Svava help you move forward again on your healing journey!


Are you on Svava’s email list?  If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

31 Comments

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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