Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

How to Discover Your Unique Gifts

5/30/2017

As many of you know, for almost the entire month of May, I’ve been in Iceland. This year, it’s not only my 35-year high school reunion but also my 30-year junior college reunion. Since I missed my other reunions, I felt I needed to go to these.

And I was right! I had a wonderful time, reconnecting with old friends and reliving good memories from our school days. I even discovered a few of my classmates are child abuse survivors. I was thrilled to learn they’ve been following me online and are empowered by my work.

It was a business trip, too, because I was introducing TRE to Iceland. I offered TRE classes every week for the three weeks I was there, and they filled up quickly. I also gave presentations on my healing journey, TRE, and my book at several events across the country.

The reason I mention this is because I want you to realize the story of your healing journey is a blessing. That’s probably the last thing you’re thinking, right? I know how you feel! This journey rarely seems like a blessing when you’re clawing your way through another layer of buried emotional pain. Healing from trauma or child abuse is messy. There’s no way around that. But, trust me, it’s also a blessing.

Here’s what I mean. Each one of us is a perfectly imperfect, vulnerable human being with an immense capacity to love ourselves and others. The healing journey is all about rediscovering that.

So don’t give up on yourself, okay? There are people who are waiting for you to realize you’re a blessing. Your life will become the example that shows them healing is possible. Your life is the one that will encourage them to move from surviving to thriving. That’s how powerful you are.

What’s the source of your power? It comes from falling in love with yourself and honoring the unique gifts you were born with. If you’re not certain about your gifts, ask yourself this question: What makes your heart sing and gives you JOY?

The answer to that question is the first step toward discovering your incredible gifts. Yes, it’s that simple!
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Are you stuck on your healing journey? Do you feel like you’ve plateaued out, and you’re not moving forward anymore? If so, I can help. JJust follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Which Story Are You Telling?

5/22/2017

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Child abuse survivors don’t have just one story. We have three.

The first story is the one that takes the most courage to tell. It’s the one about what happened to us. It’s a story of trauma, abuse, and victimization. We all have to start there. This is your “Trauma Story.” It’s important to realize this is actually a story about the abuser, the person who hurt you and betrayed your innocence, heart, and trust.

You can’t move forward with your healing until you acknowledge the impact of this traumatic experience. And that includes allowing yourself to feel the emotional pain. Telling this story is part of that.

The second story we tell is our “Healing Story.” It charts our path of survival. This is a story about how we chose to rise above the abuse, trauma, shame, and betrayal of our dark past. How we chose to claim our truth and lovingly care for ourselves. How we chose to be safe in our bodies and set healthy personal boundaries with other people. And how we chose to rescue, soothe, and validate ourselves.

If you’re not sure which story you’re telling, ask yourself these questions:

Do I fear being alone?
Do I need others to make me feel safe?
Do I often feel sad, depressed, or guilty?
Do I get angry with myself and others?

A survivor of child abuse is a work-in-progress. The learning never stops. If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, you’re telling your “Healing Story.” You’re in the process of solving your major issues. You’re taking responsibility for the things you can change, and you’re learning how to let go of the things you can’t change.

Next, how would you answer these questions?

Do I trust my feelings?
Do I feel loveable and worthy of support?
Do I feel safe?

When you can answer “No” to the first set of questions and “Yes” to the second set, you’ve begun to tell your “Survivor to Thriver Story.” You’re living your authentic self every day. You’re writing your hero’s journey. You’re intentionally creating the happy, healthy, joyous life of your dreams. Wow, right?!

So think about it. Which story are you telling today?
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Are you having a difficult time figuring out which story you’re telling and what step you should take next on your healing journey? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Your Body is Miraculous!

5/16/2017

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There’s a reason you can heal and transform yourself after abuse or trauma. It’s because your body knows how to heal itself. This self-healing mechanism is part of your biology. Who knew, right?

However, the hard part about healing will be finding the toxic beliefs caused by trauma that keep this mechanism from working properly. These toxic beliefs form tension patterns in the body. This trapped tension needs to be released, or your nervous system will interpret it as an imbalance.

If you’ve ever wondered why you’ve always felt like there was something wrong with you, this is the reason. It’s your biology. You’re not different from other people. You’re not broken. It’s just your body’s normal response to trapped tension. It interprets it as an imbalance.

The biology of your body really is miraculous. Once you understand this, it’s time to fall in love with your body. Easier said than done, I know. If you’ve always thought there was something wrong with your body, this will feel strange at first.

But stick with it. Spend some time every day building a loving relationship with your body. Get comfortable with it. Soon you’ll begin to appreciate how hard it has always worked to keep you safe and healthy.

None of us likes to admit this, but trauma is a part of life. It’s normal to some degree for everyone. Fortunately, your body was designed to handle trauma quickly and efficiently. That’s why it often chooses the path of least resistance.

Begin to build a loving, trusting relationship with your miraculous body today. Do that by honoring its biology, nervous system, and amazing self-healing abilities.

The healing journey is often a bumpy ride. There will be lots of challenges along the way. Some will be emotional. Others will be physical. Aren’t you glad your body was designed to handle all of them? We are truly blessed!
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Are you having a difficult time appreciating your body and building a loving relationship with it? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!
Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Sometimes You Just Have to Trust the Process

5/8/2017

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Where are you on your healing journey? Are you just getting started? Are you about to take the next step? Are you stuck? Or are you in the messy middle, overwhelmed with grief, feeling like the tears and sadness will never end?

If you feel stuck, that’s probably because you have no idea what to do next. That’s how I felt years ago when I realized I didn’t know how to receive my husband’s love. How could I not know something like that? It seemed so simple for everyone else. What was wrong with me?!

Connecting with my heart was the key. I began by practicing inner child work, learning how to love the wounded little girl inside me.

I discovered this precious child had vowed never to let anyone into her heart again. She’d been hurt too many times by people who said they loved her. When she made this decision, she was too young to realize she needed love. That meant she had to be open to it. But she felt the risk was too great.

It took years to build a loving relationship with this hurt little girl. I learned how to be the loving parent she’d always needed by nurturing her, holding her when she cried endless tears, and giving her all the attention she deserved but had never experienced.

With kindness, self-compassion, and consistent self-care, things got better. The wounded little girl inside me calmed down, felt accepted, validated, and worthy of love. As a result, an amazing thing happened. I finally realized what it was like to be loved and cared for. Wow!

Today, I always connect with my heart before I act or speak, because I know that’s where I’ll find my truth. I want to show up as a loving person. I want to lead with my heart. And I do. Now I can give and receive love effortlessly.

Of course, none of this happened overnight for me, and it won’t for you either. It’s a long journey, filled with lots of hills and valleys. But you have to trust the process. Eventually, you’ll reach your destination. And it’ll be more than worth it. Just ask me!

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Is it hard for you to connect with your heart or to receive love? Would you like to know how to practice inner child work? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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It’s Time to Reclaim Your Power!

5/1/2017

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You’re not powerless. You might think you are, but you’re not. In fact, you’re actually quite powerful.

Yes, the person who abused you was probably someone you knew and trusted. But that doesn’t make the abuse your fault. You’re not what happened to you. You’re the same wonderful, awesome, powerful person you were before the abuse. And you always have been.

But if that’s the truth (and it is), then why have you always felt powerless?

Because child sexual abuse is one of those topics our society prefers not to talk about. And not talking about it is the problem. It makes CSA much worse for everyone. The victims feel powerless, because they don’t know what to do about the horrible thing that happened to them. The safe adults around them could have helped. But they didn’t, because they never received CSA prevention education. When no one talks about CSA, everyone loses.

During my keynote speech this month at ABC House, a children’s advocacy center in Oregon, I said I only began to live a powerful life when I discovered how powerful it felt to tell my story. This is the kind of information children, parents, and CSA survivors in our communities are missing. When no one talks about CSA, no one learns how to prevent or heal from it.

Change has to start with us. Survivors are the ones who must begin the dialogue about CSA and how to prevent it. No one else is going to do it.

A few weeks ago, I was interviewed by Matt at “Surviving My Past” (Link). In this interview, we discussed Darkness to Light, the five steps to protecting kids, and the importance of talking about CSA.

It’s time to reclaim your power, my friends. And you do that by telling your story.

When you do, the kids, parents, and CSA survivors in your community will thank you for it. They need what you have to offer. They need to see your power. They need to know they have the power to prevent CSA or to heal from it.

They need you and your story. Are you ready to reclaim your power?

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Are you struggling to recover from child abuse or trauma in your past? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How to Discover Your Unique Gifts

Which Story Are You Telling?

Your Body is Miraculous!

Sometimes You Just Have to Trust the Process

It’s Time to Reclaim Your Power!

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