Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

How to Fill Your Life with Good People

6/29/2015

A good person is a “safe” person. If you’re an abuse survivor, everything in life hinges on the issue of safety. Who is safe? Who isn’t?

Answering these questions isn’t an easy task for a survivor of child sexual abuse. When you were young, you probably kept your distance from people. It was safer that way, because you weren’t taught how to recognize safe people.

But that’s only part of the problem. The subconscious can be your friend or your enemy. You were horribly abused as a child, which taught you about the kind of people you DON’T want in your life. Yet these were the people you were exposed to year after year against your will. Because of that, they’re the only ones who make your subconscious feel comfortable. And the subconscious is all about comfort.

This explains why, as an adult, you continue to attract toxic people into your life. It’s also the reason why most of your relationships are unhealthy and end in disaster. Your subconscious is simply doing whatever it can to remain in its toxic comfort zone.

Because of this, your relationships follow the same unhealthy pattern year after year. You meet new people. You have a lot in common.   They look trustworthy. You think these people are your friends. And they are for a while.

Then something bad happens. A boundary is crossed, and they hurt you or betray you. But they don’t seem to think there’s anything wrong with what they’ve done to you or how they’ve turned against you. It’s a vicious, confusing cycle. Worst of all, this sudden turn of events takes you by surprise. You never see it coming.

Let’s change that today. Here’s how to recognize safe people. They earn your trust by:

·      Showing up and walking their talk

·      Not giving up on you if you aren’t perfect

·      Supporting and validating you

·      Adding positive energy to your life

·      Blessing you with their spiritual outlook

·      Giving as much to you as you give to them

There are lots of good, safe people in the world. They’re as committed to your health and wellbeing as they are to their own. Learn how to recognize them. Surround yourself with these kinds of friends. When you do, all your relationships will blossom in delightful ways!

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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? Svava Brooks is a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a certified CSA instructor and an Abuse Survivor Coach. She offers private coaching sessions by phone or skype for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. For more information, email svava@educate4change.com or call 619-889-6366. Let Svava help you move forward again on your healing journey!

Are you on Svava’s email list? If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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FREE Webinar: “Living From the Heart, Not the Hurt!”

6/20/2015

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Get ready! I’ve got a really special treat for you this week. On Thursday (June 25) at 12:00pm (PST) you can participate in a FREE 90-minute webinar called “Living from the Heart, Not the Hurt!” I’ve created it just for the survivors of abuse trauma.

Here’s the thing. It’s difficult for survivors of child sexual abuse to allow themselves to live from their hearts. Yet you can’t maintain a healthy relationship with anyone until you learn this vital skill.

When you live from the “hurt,” arguments with friends, boyfriends, and spouses never seem to be resolved. You always think THEY are the problem. They need to change. And they always think YOU are the problem. They say you need to change. It’s an endless hamster wheel.

Sound familiar?

The problem is your heart. The people in your important relationships can’t feel it. Your heart is closed. Because of that, they don’t feel like you’re really listening to them. And they’re right. You’re not. Those shameful feelings from the abuse control everything you say, think, and do.

Many of you have learned a lot on your healing journey, and life is definitely better than it used to be. But something’s still not right. It’s keeping you emotionally disconnected and isolated. Yet you can’t seem to figure it out. Ugh!

Does that sound like you?

If so, I’ve created this webinar for just for you! In this webinar I’ll show you how to solve this frustrating problem. Here’s what you’ll learn:

·      Why you disconnect from your heart during trauma

·      How to reconnect to your true self

·      How to begin a daily self-care regime

·      The key to self-love

·      A guided meditation to help you experience self-awareness

·      How to restore your heart

·      How to manage feeling overwhelmed

·      How to live trigger-free from the past

·      Q and A on healing from abuse trauma

·      And much, much more!

I know how you feel. Your dream is to get unstuck once and for all, to connect freely in every relationship, to make peace with your past. This webinar will show you exactly how to do that.

But will it work for you? Yes! How do I know? Because I’ve been using these principles for years with my coaching clients and in all my relationships. In fact, my husband and I just celebrated our 20-year anniversary last year with a renewal ceremony on the beach in Kauai, Hawaii. This never would have happened if I hadn’t applied these principles to my marriage.

You can do this, too! Join me at 12:00pm (PST) on June 25th for this FREE informative webinar. Here’s the link to the webinar conference room to log in on that day:

http://www.instantpresenter.com/blattafram6

Then all you need to do is sit back, relax, listen, and ask questions. I look forward to seeing you there!

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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? Svava Brooks is a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a certified CSA instructor and an Abuse Survivor Coach. She offers private coaching sessions by phone or skype for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. For more information, email svava@educate4change.com or call 619-889-6366. Let Svava help you move forward again on your healing journey!

Are you on Svava’s email list? If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How to Stop the Generational Cycle of Abuse

6/15/2015

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I know how you feel. You want the cycle of abuse to stop with you, and you want it to stop NOW. One or both of your parents were victims of abuse. You were just the next generation to be abused. But that’s not what you want for your kids.

Your job as a parent is to teach your children how to surround themselves with safe people. You didn’t know how to do this until you were an adult. However, your kids should not only learn this skill, but they must also experience it.

First and foremost, your children need to know you’re safe. They need to trust you and know they can come to you for validation and support. They need to be able to talk to you about anything and know you’ll listen.

Most victims of child sexual abuse begin their healing journey when they’re already parents. Some of your kids may have been very young. They remember how messy and painful those early years were when your heart was closed with shame and fear.

Because of this, it’s important to encourage your children to express their feelings about that time in their lives. They didn’t feel important or noticed, and they need to talk about it. You’re a different person today, and they realize that. But subconsciously they’re still dealing with those devastating feelings from the past.

Let them cry in your arms and tell you how upset they are about the way you treated them. Invite them to tell you what they need from you now. Never dismiss or minimize their feelings. Let them know you’ll do whatever it takes to help them heal.

Otherwise, they’ll carry these painful feelings from the past into their future relationships. This is what continues the toxic cycle of generational abuse.

Parenting isn’t easy. Victims of abuse were not given what they needed by their parents in order to thrive. Instead, they were raised to become a copy of their parents. That isn’t the kind of role model you want to be for your kids.

Fortunately, the generational cycle of child sexual abuse can stop with you. Create an open, healing atmosphere in your home, so your kids will feel safe enough to talk about their painful past. For your children’s sake, start now. It’s never too late.

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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? Svava Brooks is a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a certified CSA instructor and an Abuse Survivor Coach. She offers private coaching sessions by phone or skype for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. For more information, email svava@educate4change.com or call 619-889-6366. Let Svava help you move forward again on your healing journey!

Are you on Svava’s email list? If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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I’m So Broken, I Don’t Know Where to Start!

6/8/2015

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This is a comment I often hear from new coaching clients. They don’t know what’s broken inside them, so they have no idea how to fix it. They just know they feel awful.

Confusion is typical of child sexual abuse survivors. The abuse happened when you were too young, and it happened too often. It became your “new normal.” In the process, the “wrongness” of this crime sank deep into your subconscious and was buried.

Now, whenever you try to unravel your brokenness, your brain gets foggy. Your subconscious won’t allow you to focus on the issue. It’s still protecting the wounded child inside you.

That’s where I come in. I help you uncover those hidden areas in your spirit and soul. Then I show you how to heal them.

The first step is to confront fear. Healing involves moving out of your comfort zone, and that can be scary. You might even think you can’t be fixed. Surviving is all you’ve ever known.

But that’s not true. You can be healed. Why? Because you’re not really “broken.” You’re a survivor of horrible childhood trauma. During the abuse, you developed coping skills to help you survive. But those childhood skills are toxic to your adult life. They need to be transformed into healthy life skills.

As we walk this journey together, I’ll show you how to locate those old, toxic coping skills. Then I’ll teach you how to repurpose them in a way that moves you from surviving to thriving.

Eventually, you’ll fall in love with the new you. It’s true! You’ll completely own your past, present, and future. You’ll be proud of how you survived your past and thrilled with the healthy present you’re creating.

Remember, you don’t really need to be “fixed.” You just need to take the next big step in your life. It’s time to make peace with your past. Then you can live your glorious truth every day with joy.

And that’s your destiny: joy, joy, joy! Claim it. It’s yours!

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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? Svava Brooks is a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a certified CSA instructor and an Abuse Survivor Coach. She offers private coaching sessions by phone or skype for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. For more information, email svava@educate4change.com or call 619-889-6366. Let Svava help you move forward again on your healing journey!

Are you on Svava’s email list? If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How to Fill Your Life with Good People

FREE Webinar: “Living From the Heart, Not the Hurt!”

How to Stop the Generational Cycle of Abuse

I’m So Broken, I Don’t Know Where to Start!

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