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How to Reach Any Goal You Set!

6/26/2017

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In January, I told you about my healing goals for 2017.  Well, it’s June, and we’re six months into the year.  Time to assess my progress!


This has been a very busy year for my Abuse Survivor Coaching business, as well as my TRE sessions.  Lots of new clients for both.  However, even though I’ve made progress with my 2017 goals, life has a way of interrupting.  Tweaks are definitely necessary.


One of my goals was to meditate every day.  I’ve been meditating for years, but not on a daily basis.  I wanted to change that in order to reap the full benefits of meditation: a calm mind, a peaceful body, and a joyous presence.


To help me achieve this goal, I joined a 21-day meditation challenge with a friend.  It worked!  Since January, I’ve meditated every day of the week, and I love the benefits.


Another goal included a more intense workout plan.  This one has been harder to achieve.  To help me reach this goal, I joined my girls in January for a 12-week workout challenge.  It went really well at first.  We made measurable progress and had lots of fun.


But then I was sidelined with unexpected obstacles and setbacks.  For example, I pulled a muscle.  Then I was sick a few times.  I also travelled more than usual.  Now it’s June, and I obviously need to reassess my 2017 workout plan.  


So that’s what I did.  This time I’m being kinder to myself and my body.  I’ve set smaller, more realistic monthly goals, which are divided into manageable weekly steps.  I’m still committed to my 2017 workout goal.  But I realize I’m not 20 years old anymore (lol), and I run a busy business.  These tweaks will help me reach my goal one day, one week, and one month at a time.  


How about you?  How are your 2017 goals coming along?  Have you done a 6-month assessment yet?


If you’ve also encountered setbacks this year, reach out for support.  Don’t give up on your goals.  Change is really hard sometimes.  But with consistent, small steps you’ll reach your goals.


Hey, if I can do it, so can you, right?  Go for it!  
                                                           ********

Are you and your spouse struggling with your relationship?  Does peace in your family seem like an impossible goal?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY! 


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Creating a Healthy Sense of Peace in Your Relationships

6/19/2017

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If you follow me on Facebook, you’ve probably seen the photo I posted of my husband and I in 1993.  I was pregnant with my first child, and we were looking forward to starting our family.


Even though we’ve been through some really rough times in the last 24 years, our love for each other has carried us through.  My husband, David, is still my best friend.  He helped me heal my wounded heart.  I’ve cried rivers of tears in his arms, as he listened to the pain from my past.  Over and over again, he has lovingly reminded me I’m more than my abusive childhood.


Here are several truths I’ve learned for child abuse survivors about marriage.  These are all things I wish someone had told me back in 1993.

  1. Heal for yourself, not for anyone else.  My initial decision to heal was for my kids.  I didn’t want to pass the pain from my abusive childhood to them.  I wanted that toxic legacy to end with me.  Eventually, I realized healing only happens when you do it for yourself.
  2. Our parents taught us how to build toxic relationships, not healthy ones.  Do what you need to do to learn how to create the healthy, happy relationships you’ve always wanted.
  3. Your kids watch you like a hawk.  Children are sponges.  They not only absorb everything you say but also everything you do.  Make sure what they see in you is a model for how to build the loving, healthy, nourishing relationships they deserve.
  4. Your responsibility is to make YOU happy.  This isn’t the responsibility of your spouse or kids.  You’re the only one who can truly make you happy.  To do this, find out what you want in life and give it to yourself.
  5. Perfect marriages don’t exist.  My husband and I were two people from dysfunctional families, who fell in love.  That’s what we brought to the table.  As we’ve both healed from childhood trauma, our goal has been to create a place of peace for ourselves and our kids.  


Life continues to send challenges our way.  Even so, our primary goal has remained the same.  We’re committed to creating a safe, healthy, family environment where the truth can be voiced and our emotions can be expressed.  We don’t require everyone in our family to be happy 100% of the time.  We just want our home to be a peaceful one in which it’s safe to nurture your authentic self.  


After all, creating peace in this world starts at home, right?  

                                                               ********

Are you and your spouse struggling with your relationship?  Does peace in your family seem like an impossible goal?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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The Toxic Power of Shame

6/11/2017

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Shame always appears on the healing journey when you begin to:

  • Reconnect with your body to feel safe
  • Reconnect with your emotions to express them in a healthy way
  • Isolate and correct distorted core beliefs
  • Practice being kinder to yourself
  • Believe you’re worthy
  • Believe you’re lovable
  • Believe you can change

​That’s quite a list, isn’t it?  But shame is often the primary cause of the mental and emotional blocks that arise when you tackle these areas of healing from abuse.  Shame tries to keep you feeling powerless, disconnected, and unworthy of love.



I don’t think I’ll ever forget how thoroughly shame terrorized my life.  I remember the feeling well.  Shame is what I thought every time I considered telling my husband about my abusive past.  Shame had convinced me, if he knew the truth about me and what I’d survived, he would leave me.  None of this was true.  Shame is a liar.


Understanding the way shame operates and its toxic power is an important part of healing.  Fortunately, shame is like fear.  Once you recognize it, shame loses its power to hold you hostage.  Yay!  


When shame comes up with my clients, we begin with the thing that gives them the most intense feelings of shame.  Then we take baby steps to dissect that feeling, so they can take back their power in this area.


If you’re looking for more information about dealing with shame, I recommend the books by Brené Brown, especially Daring Greatly.


Don’t let shame sabotage your healing journey.  Don’t allow it to hold you hostage.  Shame is nothing more than a bully.  Every toxic thing it tells you is a lie.  Take back your power and end its reign of terror TODAY!!

                                                           ********


Are you struggling with shame?  Do you often feel overwhelmed by its power and the effect it has on you?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!
 
Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Do You Believe You Can Heal?

6/6/2017

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Recently, I heard there are 42 million child sexual abuse survivors in the U.S.  That number is probably much higher, because some survivors never tell anyone about their abusive past.


Most survivors spend years (maybe decades) thinking about the past before we find the courage to tell someone about it.  When the brain continually focuses on the trauma from an abusive past, it just makes the pain worse.  It’s the major cause of our suffering.


That’s why to heal from the past you have to believe you can heal.  


Yes, feeling the pain, sitting with it, acknowledging it, allowing it to express itself in a healthy way, and releasing it from your body is one of the first steps on the healing journey.  Until you do that, you’ll never completely heal.


However, you can’t remain in this step forever.  At some point, your heart will let you know it’s time to move forward to the next step on your healing journey.  If you don’t, fear will take over and try to convince you that you’ll never heal.  To conquer this fear, you must believe healing is possible.  


And that’s my question for you today.  Do you really, honestly believe you can heal?


We can never go back and undo the trauma from our abusive past.  The damage is done.  But you can move forward to the next step on your healing journey.  You do that by choosing to heal.


Everyone’s healing journey is unique.  We all move forward at a different pace.  Some steps on your healing journey will come easily for you, and you’ll accomplish them quickly.  Others will take weeks or months to work through.  Everyone is different.


The best way to defeat your fears and continue moving forward is to use your own life as proof.  Look back to where you were a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago.  You’ve come a long way, haven’t you?  


Yes, you can heal!  Just look at your life.  That’s all the proof you’ll need.
                                                            ********

Are you stuck on your healing journey?  Do you feel like you’ve plateaued out, and you’re not moving forward anymore?  If so, I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


​Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback 
(link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!



Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
Ph: 619-889-6366  
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