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Are Your Coping Strategies Toxic?

7/27/2015

4 Comments

 
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Maybe you’re a survivor of child sexual abuse, and you need support to move forward on your healing journey.  But you haven’t taken that step.  Why?  Is it because you’re terrified you’ll have to confront painful memories, and you just can’t do that?

If so, I’ve got good news for you.  To heal from the trauma of child sexual abuse, it isn’t necessary to relive painful memories.  Instead, it’s more important to stay in the present moment and understand how the abuse is damaging your adult life. 

For example, what unhealthy coping strategies did you develop in your childhood as a result of the abuse?  What false beliefs did you create because you were too young to process the emotional and physical pain of the abuse?  How are these toxic thought patterns sabotaging your adult life? 

The present is what you’ll need to focus on.  Not the past.  That’s a relief, isn’t it?

Of course, there will be emotional moments.  That’s a given.  You’re rewiring thought patterns you’ve relied on for years or decades, and it’s not easy.  But it’s doable with patience and commitment. 

Even so, you’ll need a plan to deal with the stress caused by challenging these toxic coping strategies.  If you’re prepared, your transformation will be more comfortable.

Once you move past the fear of breaking the silence and realize you’re not alone, this process gets easier.  Each step is more rewarding than the last.

Build a good support system around yourself and keep moving forward on your healing journey.  You will heal, little by little.  And one day you’ll make the shift from survivor to thriver. 

Wow, what a glorious day that will be!

If you’d like to talk about your toxic coping strategies, schedule a free 30-minute coaching session with me.  I’m always happy to listen!

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Are you stuck because of an old toxic belief?  Would you like to move forward again on your healing journey?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to do that.  Follow (this link) to reserve a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal from child sexual abuse.  Reserve your spot NOW!
 
Are you on Svava’s email list?  If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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I Hear You!

7/20/2015

7 Comments

 
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More than anything, survivors of child sexual abuse want to be heard, validated, and believed.  Keeping the abuse you suffered a secret hurts.  You did it because you couldn’t tell anyone, or when you did no one believed you.

Still, this betrayal of trust was devastating.  It not only damaged the child you were but also crippled the adult you’ve become.  As a result of that childhood betrayal, you built a wall around that secret.  When you did, you formed the belief that no one would ever listen to you or believe you.


This toxic belief is holding your adult life hostage.  It’s become a dysfunctional part of your identity.  It says: You’re an adult now.  You’re so kind or helpful or giving or such a hard worker.  You’re doing just fine all by yourself.  You don’t need ANYONE, right?

Wrong.

Think back to your childhood.  Remember the last time you tried to tell someone about the abuse, and they didn’t believe you?  The rejection was crushing.  That was the day you decided you were unlovable and unworthy of help.  You decided to go it alone.  Forever.  I mean, who needs these people, right?  Not you!

That childhood belief is preventing you from healing as an adult.  Your brain is wired to keep you safe.  It won’t allow you to be hurt like that again.  Every time you try to change, that old belief pops up and stops you.

Don’t let it.  The only way to heal is to reach out for support again and again and again.  Each time you do, your brain will shift into “protection mode.”  Ignore it.  Keep seeking support. 

Soon you’ll hear what you’ve been craving all your life.  People will say: I hear you!  I’m so sorry that happened to you!  How can I help and support you?  I believe you!

Silence is holding you hostage.  Break free and connect with a therapist or a coach.  Keep reaching out.  Find a way to be heard.  Tell your story to people who believe you.

If you need help with this, schedule a free 30-minute session with me.  I’m always here to listen.  Why?  Because I believe you.  I really do!

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Are you stuck because of an old toxic belief?  Would you like to move forward again on your healing journey?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to do that.  Follow (this link) to reserve a FREE 30-minute session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal from child sexual abuse.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on Svava’s email list?  If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Free Yourself from the Burden of a Painful Past!

7/13/2015

5 Comments

 
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The word “freedom” has a very special meaning for the survivors of child sexual abuse.  Freedom is your secret desire.  You dream about being totally and completely free from the crushing burden of your painful past.  It’s what you want more than anything. 

If that sounds like you, I’ve got good news.  Freedom is within your grasp.  And it begins with mindfulness.

When you were a child, you lived in “survival mode.”  That’s the only way to survive abuse.  In your case, surviving meant disconnecting from yourself, your feelings, and what the abuser was doing to your young body.

That strategy worked for you when you were a child.  But it works against you as an adult.  When you grew up, this toxic strategy took your life hostage and began torturing you with all the emotional pain buried in your subconscious. 

You could disconnect when you were young.  But enough is enough.  Now the pain wants out.  All of it.  And you can’t seem to stop it, no matter how hard you try. 

Mindfulness will free you from that legacy of pain.  It teaches you how to focus your awareness in healthy ways.  It reconnects you to your body, soul, heart, and the beauty of the world around you.  It shows you how to live in the moment rather than in the pain of the past.

Mindfulness can be as simple as sitting still for a few minutes, closing your eyes to focus on your breath, and observing the thoughts that tumble through your mind.  This alone can be a life-changing experience.  The more you practice mindfulness, the more healing you’ll bring into your mind and body. 

Mindfulness is a wonderful skill anyone can learn.  Because it reconnects you to everything important in life, it’s the opposite of survival mode.  Mindfulness is the practice of living life to the fullest.  Best of all, it frees you from the painful burden of your past.

Begin a mindfulness practice today.  Take that first step.  Stick with it and watch how it changes your life in incredible ways.  The benefits are truly amazing!

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Would you like to explore mindfulness as part of your healing journey?  I’d be happy to teach you this valuable skill.  Click here https://svava-brooks.youcanbook.me to reserve a free 30-minute session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you find the best mindfulness practice for you.  Reserve your spot TODAY and learn how to free yourself from the pain of your past.  It’s never too late to heal!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

5 Comments

Take A Risk.  It’s Worth It!  

7/6/2015

2 Comments

 
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July is going to be a magical month for me.  I’ve just moved to a new home in a new city, and I’m surrounded by nature.  Exhilarating!

In the process, I’ve manifested something amazing, something everyone in my family has been longing for.  I took a huge, positive risk by following my heart.  And it was totally worth it!
 
Still, I have to keep reminding myself to stay focused and calm.  So much has happened.  It’s overwhelming when I stop and think about it.  I could easily be sucked into the vortex of fear.

But I refuse to go there.  My kids have been awesome, too.  Ever since we arrived in Portland last weekend, they’ve been saying this is their dream home.  And it really is.  I deserve it.  They deserve it.  We’re all feeling incredibly grateful for where we are, and what’s coming next.

In fact, I’m already receiving welcome emails from colleges in the area.  They want to meet with me as soon as possible to discuss how we can educate Portland residents about child sexual abuse.  Very exciting!

Taking positive, healthy, challenging risks are important for you, too.  They’re a vital part of your healing journey.  These kinds of risks force you to push through doubt.  They make you trust your heart and spiritual intuition.  Best of all, they destroy old toxic beliefs.

However, this can be an uncomfortable position until your goal manifests.  You’ve moved outside your comfort zone, and that always makes you feel vulnerable.  It’s a normal reaction to change, so don’t let it throw you.

This is why it’s important to have a good support system in place.  It provides much needed validation when you consider positive change.  It helps you realize you’re on track and heading in the right direction.

Today, take the time to listen to your heart.  What has that quiet, insistent voice been saying to you lately?   I bet it’s risky.  I bet it’s outside your comfort zone.  I bet it makes you nervous. 

But you can’t stop thinking about it, can you?  As scary as it seems, it feels right, doesn’t it?  Find the support you need and step out.  Make this positive change.  Take a risk.  It’s worth it.  Just ask me!

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Were you sexually abused as a child?  Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward?  Svava Brooks is a child sexual abuse survivor, as well as a certified CSA instructor and an Abuse Survivor Coach.  She offers private coaching sessions by phone or skype for child sexual abuse survivors just like you.  For more information, email svava@educate4change.com or call 619-889-6366.  Let Svava help you move forward again on your healing journey!

Are you on Svava’s email list?  If you’d like to receive her empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to her weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
Ph: 619-889-6366  
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