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Happy Birthday to ME!

8/31/2015

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Sunday was my birthday.  As I mentioned in the August issue of my newsletter, this past year has been the most “selfish” of my life.  

Actually, I planned it that way.  I did!

It began with my birthday last year.  I threw a big party for myself and invited twenty of my girlfriends.  We sat at one long table in the beautiful courtyard at my house, eating awesome food, drinking good wine, and laughing a LOT.

While we ate, I slowly worked my way around the table.  I wanted to honor these dear friends by telling each one all the ways they had blessed my life.  I was in tears by the time I finished.  I love my women friends!

But that was just the beginning.  I approached this year with “intent.”  My desire was to help more people in need.  I planned to accomplish this by being true to my authentic self and walking in Love and Light every minute of every day for the entire year.  And that’s exactly what I have done.

Within weeks, the universe began lining up people, circumstances, and events to support my intent.  Numerous doors of opportunity opened. 

As the year progressed and I continued to live “selfishly,” my entire life changed.  I am eating healthier.  I work out every week.  I moved my family from California to the home of our dreams in Oregon.  And my coaching business has grown at a phenomenal rate, which allows me to help more people in need.  

I have lived intentionally for a long time.  But never in a way that put ME at the top of my list.  Guess what?  I like it.  Yup, there’s no going back now!  

So here’s to another year of living selfishly.  My birthday wish is for you to put yourself at the top of your list, too.  Honor your authentic self.  Walk in spiritual Love.  It’s the greatest thing you can do for yourself and everyone in your life. 

If you’d like to talk more about how to live selfishly, schedule a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me.  Survivors of abuse always put others ahead of themselves.  Stop doing that!  You’ll be amazed at the positive difference it will make.  Call me anytime, and we can talk about it.  I’m always happy to help!  

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Are you a survivor of childhood abuse or trauma?  Are you stuck on your healing journey?  Is your marriage or love relationship a mess?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to fix that.  Follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a FREE 30-minute session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Not Tonight, Honey!

8/24/2015

4 Comments

 
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Being the victim of child sexual abuse really messes up your sex life as an adult.  No need for me to tell you that, right?

Unfortunately, when it comes to sex, our society tends to sway from one extreme to the other, adding to the confusion.  This tendency is especially true in the love relationships of the survivors of child sexual abuse.  Some have no desire for sex.  Others overdose on it, becoming aggressively sexual.  There seems to be no middle ground.

Many of you are struggling in every area of your love relationship.  Sexual intimacy is no exception.  It can be a HUGE source of frustration, hopelessness, and anger for you and your partner.  

Here’s why.  You may not realize this, but you’re not the one showing up in the bedroom every night.  It’s your wounded child.    

As a child, you were introduced to sex long before you knew what it was or had the emotional maturity to handle it.  That experience did terrible damage to you in the area of intimacy.  All you know is toxic sex.  Yikes!

That makes it impossible for you to build a healthy sexual relationship with your partner.  You don’t even know where to start.

You can’t correct this on your own.  Your wounded child feels responsible for the sexual area of your life.  This child is saturated with shame, fear, and pain of all kinds.  You’ll have to develop a strategy to gently move this precious child out of the way, so you can show up in the bedroom as an adult.  You’ll need professional help to do that.

Just remember, this situation isn’t your fault.  You were trained to view sexual intimacy in a toxic way.  But you’re no longer a child.  You can learn how to build a healthy sex life with the one you love.  

Hey, if I can do it, so can you!

If you’d like to talk more about the intimacy issues you’re struggling with, schedule a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me.  Sexual intimacy is a difficult issue.  But you’re not alone.  You’ve got me, and I’m happy to listen.  Call me anytime!

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Are you a survivor of childhood abuse or trauma?  Are you stuck on your healing journey?  Is your marriage or love relationship a mess?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to fix that.  Follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a FREE 30-minute session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Why You Struggle with Your Marriage

8/17/2015

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All victims of child abuse suffer from “betrayal trauma.”  This makes love relationships difficult for you.  

Why?  When you are betrayed again and again as a child, your subconscious becomes accustomed to betrayal.  Unfortunately, your subconscious determines the kind of people you allow into your life.  This is why you’ve always been attracted to people who have betrayed you in one way or another.  It’s your subconscious manifesting its comfort zone.  

To make matters worse, abused children aren’t allowed to establish firm boundaries.  They grow up having no concept of what a healthy love relationship looks like or how it works.  

If that sounds like you, don’t worry.  Help is on the way!  

On Thursday (August 20) at 12:00pm (PST), I’m hosting a FREE webinar called “Relationship Challenges.”  This webinar was designed to help you stop struggling with your love relationships.  Here’s what you’ll learn:


  • Why you have trouble trusting
  • How “coping” sabotages your love relationships
  • How to become aware of your toxic relationship beliefs
  • The correct definition of “intimacy”
  • Why healthy intimacy isn’t what you think it is
  • How to develop a sense of self in a relationship
  • How to conquer every relationship challenge
  • How to ask for what you need in a relationship
  • What to do when your partner can’t give you what you need
  • How to build a healthy love relationship 

If you have a relationship issue you’d like me to address during this webinar, send it to me now.  There will also be a Q&A session at the end for your questions.

Love relationships are always challenging.  But they can also be one of the best things that ever happened to you.  Sharing your life with your soulmate is an awesome goal, isn’t it?  It’s what we all want.  

So if you’re ready to fix your love relationship, join me on Thursday, August 20, at 12:00 noon (PST) or 3:00pm (EST) for my FREE “Relationship Challenges” webinar.  Here’s the link:
  https://www.anymeeting.com/949-635-220 

You can also join me using your phone:
Dial in Number: 1-323-920-0091
Attendee PIN:  470 9720#



Afterwards, if you’d like to talk more about the issues you’re struggling with in your marriage or love relationship, schedule a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me.  I’m happy to help you solve your relationship problems.  Nothing is impossible.  We can do this! 


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Are you a survivor of childhood abuse or trauma?  Are you stuck on your healing journey?  Is your marriage or love relationship a mess?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to fix that.  Follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a FREE 30-minute session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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How to Fix Your Troubled Marriage

8/10/2015

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Isn’t this a great photo?  It was taken in Hawaii at a family dinner to celebrate my husband’s birthday. 

David and I began his birthday early that morning with a quick breakfast before the kids got up.  Afterwards, I surprised him by taking his hand and telling him what a “gift” he is to me and our family, how much I love him, what he has done for my healing, and how he has restored my faith in men.  

I thank God every day for my incredible husband, and I told him that.  As you can imagine, we were both in tears when I finished.  

However, our marriage wasn’t always like this.  When David and I met, we were both very broken.  We were two wounded individuals, trying to love with no idea what that meant.  We argued a LOT and said horrid things to each other.  It was awful.

Finally, we sought professional counseling.  That’s when we realized our expectations were terribly unrealistic.  I wanted him to heal my wounded little girl.  He wanted me to rescue his emotionally abandoned little boy.  We were a mess!

Are you are struggling with relationship issues right now?  Are you upset because your partner isn’t meeting your needs, isn’t making you happy, isn’t communicating properly, or isn’t changing?  This kind of thinking is the fast track to misery.  Why?  Because it’s not your partner’s job to make you happy. 

Instead, you and your partner need to become aware of each other’s emotional wounds.  Then you can be gentle with each other when something triggers one of those wounds.  Establish firm boundaries, and let your partner know you’re happy to listen and talk it through.

Keep working at it.  One day you’ll be gushing over your partner’s birthday, too.  The best gift of all is having the love and support of your soulmate.  You can’t get any better than that.


Do you struggle in your marriage or love relationship?  Is it difficult to tell where you end and your partner begins?  I can help.  Schedule a free 30-minute coaching session with me.  Together, we can get your marriage back on track.  Marriage isn’t easy.  It needs to be tweaked.  But it’s worth it.  Just ask me! 

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Are you a survivor of childhood abuse or trauma?  Are you stuck on your healing journey and want to move forward, but don’t know how?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to do that.  Follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a FREE 30-minute session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal from child abuse.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Are You Looking for Proof that Doesn’t Exist?

8/3/2015

4 Comments

 
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There’s a reason recovering from child sexual abuse seems so difficult.  It’s that dark tunnel.  You’re stuck in it.  Like Alice in Wonderland, you fell through a rabbit hole, and you can’t find your way out.  As you wander along endless detours, your mind continues to replay scenes from the abuse over and over again. 

Ugh!

This is what’s really happening.  The reason it’s so hard to find your way out of that dark tunnel is because it’s become your comfort zone.   

I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s how the brain works.  The subconscious is no fan of change, and the dark tunnel is what it knows best.  Even though this is a miserable place, that’s where your subconscious feels comfortable.  And your brain has rewired itself to keep you there.

Fortunately, you can escape.  Victims of child sexual abuse develop toxic coping skills in order to survive this kind of trauma.  “Distorted thinking” and “disassociation from self” are the most common.  Eliminate those coping skills, and you can move forward again on your healing journey. 

Here’s how to do that.  When you were a child, someone labeled you a bad person and said the abuse was your fault.  Since then, you’ve been searching for proof to validate those false beliefs.  Guess what?  You’re looking for proof that doesn’t exist.

Stop doing that.  Instead, create a new story about yourself based on the truth: You’re a good person, who was horribly abused as a child, and it was NEVER your fault.

That’s the truth.  Now look for proof of your goodness.  In the process, you’ll uncover more truth: You’re loveable, valuable, compassionate, strong, courageous, creative, and loyal.  You’re all of these things and more.   

You’ll never find proof in the dark tunnel.  It doesn’t exist.  Come out into the light.  As you begin to heal, you’ll discover another amazing truth: You ROCK.  Yes, you do!

If you need help escaping that dark tunnel, schedule a free 30-minute coaching session with me.  I’m always happy to shine a light in the darkness to show you the way out. 

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Are you stuck on your healing journey and would love to move forward again, but don’t know how?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to do that.  Follow (this link)  to reserve a FREE 30-minute session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal from child sexual abuse.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
Ph: 619-889-6366  
email: svava@educate4change.com
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