Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

Why Do You Resist Healthy Change?

8/28/2017

As you can tell from my blog post topics this summer, I’m on a mission to help you dig deep enough to uncover hidden toxic coping skills and patterns. These are what fuel your triggers and create major stumbling blocks on your healing journey.

Thanks so much for all your emails and comments about this series of blog posts. I’m thrilled to hear I’m giving you the kind of information you want and need!

Today, I’d like to tackle the frustrating issue of “resistance.” Why do we resist healthy change? Why does resistance rear its stubborn head every time we decide to do something good for ourselves? It makes no sense!

Or does it?

Actually, it makes perfect sense. Every scary door you open on your healing journey contains an important message. Resistance is no exception.

The purpose of resistance is to protect you. Once again, this is a biological brain issue. Your brain keeps you safe. That’s one of its many skills. However, change involves stepping outside your comfort zone. Change is risky, and risk can be dangerous. This is why any kind of change flips the switch that sends your brain into “Protection Mode.” The end result is resistance.

Fortunately, you can dissolve resistance. The first step is to identify it. Resistance takes many forms: foggy brain, discouragement, overwhelm, panic attacks, anxiety, a brick wall, a swamp, quicksand, or your inner critic.

The second step is to sit patiently with resistance. Let it know you’re grateful for the way it has always kept you safe. Tell it you appreciate how it has never allowed you to deal with more than you can emotionally or psychologically handle. By doing this, you build trust.

Now resistance can loosen its iron grip on your mind, emotions, and body. Only then will it reveal its message.

Today, make the decision to work with resistance rather than against it. When you do, you’ll find it much easier to make those healthy changes!
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Has resistance turned your healing journey into an uphill climb? Is your brain so foggy you have no idea what to do next? If so, I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Parenting Your Inner Child

8/21/2017

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Becoming a loving, caring, nurturing parent to your inner child can be scary at first. This child remembers every minute of the child abuse you survived, even if you’ve blocked out the worst of it. Ouch!

But don’t worry. Your inner child isn’t going to unleash all those horrible memories on you. Instead, it will only be the parts of you that need healing, the parts you have rejected or ignored.

Yes, your inner child is angry. That’s scary, too. Mine was furious. She wasn’t as upset about the abuse from the past as she was the fact that I had rejected her for decades. I kept giving her to other people to love. She didn’t want their love. She wanted mine.

The wonderful thing about making the commitment to do inner child work is you discover just how loving you can be as an adult. In my case, I discovered I was capable of creating safety for this little girl. I could make her a top priority in my life. I could protect her. I could even help her express her negative emotions without allowing her to wallow in self-pity and blame. I had no idea I could do any of this until I tried.

I keep a photo of myself as a child on my nightstand. Seeing her every day helps me stay connected to her. When I look at it, I feel her presence, and she feels mine. That’s usually all she needs to feel safe.

Whenever fear or anxiety appears in my body I know it’s her. All I have to do is ask her what she needs from me. It’s usually a safety issue. I may have taken a big step in my career, or a troublesome situation may have triggered her. She just needs to know I’m there for her and will protect her. I’m her loving parent and always will be.

What I love most about my inner child is that she’s also the part of me connected to God. By loving myself in this way, I’m opening the door to God’s unconditional love. I may be parenting her, but she is teaching me how to love everyone and everything.

Wow. It doesn’t get any better than that, my friends!

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Do you need help connecting with and learning how to parent your inner child? Is healthy change difficult for you? I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How Do I Connect With My Wounded Inner Child?

8/14/2017

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Every time you make a decision to change a toxic behavior pattern, your wounded inner child will appear. It’s what makes healthy change hard for us.

And that’s why inner child work is so important. You can’t recover from child abuse and trauma without doing this deep, messy work.

Your wounded inner child is that very young part of yourself, who was hurt by the abuse and is still in pain. In my case, it was my 6-year old self. She was angry for never being seen, heard, or valued. She believed the only way she could ever be worthy was by overachieving and taking care of everyone else’s needs, while ignoring hers.

Because I could feel her anger, resentment, and pain, I was terrified of her. So I rejected her for decades. Of course, that just added to her painful burden.

Inner child work is the practice of building a loving relationship with your abused inner child and becoming the loving parent that child never had. Easier said than done, right? I mean, how do you do that when you never had a loving parent? Here’s how to start!

Whenever you feel unrest inside you, stop, and listen to it.
Sit with this unrest until you can name it (anxiety, depression, sadness, overwhelm, grief, fear, loneliness, etc.).
Place your hand on your heart, so your wounded inner child can feel you.
Close your eyes and visualize a safe place for your inner child to feel comfortable talking to you.
Ask your inner child what it’s trying to tell you.
Listen to whatever this child says with an open mind, whether you agree with it or not. That’s what a loving parent does.
Cuddle this precious child in your arms and take loving action by letting it know you hear it, see it, acknowledge it, and value it.

Basically, all your inner child wants is to be loved by YOU. That’s it. You do this by making your inner child a top priority, creating a sense of safety for it, and giving it all the love and care it craved but never received.

Few things are more rewarding in life than building a peaceful, loving relationship with your wounded inner child. It’s not an easy process, and it won’t happen overnight. But it’s well worth the effort, because it always leads to major breakthroughs.

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Are you struggling to build a relationship with your wounded inner child? Is healthy change difficult for you? I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!
Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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You Can Heal If You Believe It

8/7/2017

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When I began my healing journey, I didn’t know if I could heal. But I was hopeful.

Back then, there were plenty of people who could tell me what was wrong with me and why. They could diagnose me with depression. They could tell me the depression was caused by the trauma I had suffered as an abused child. But few could give me what I needed most at that time: someone who believed I could heal.

And that’s my message for you today. If there’s one belief you need to cultivate after child abuse or trauma, it’s the belief that you can heal.

How do you do it? The same way I did!

I searched until I found survivors who inspired me. These people were able to show me what it looked like to heal after child abuse and trauma. They showed me how to move from barely surviving to gloriously thriving. Their lives had become their healing testimony.

From these courageous survivors, I learned healing from child abuse and trauma is a lifelong process. Even though I’m thriving today as my authentic self and loving every minute of it, I’m still growing and changing. Every week I learn new ways to heal, and every week I heal a little bit more.

All of this began with a decision to surround myself with survivors who inspired me. They believed they could heal, and that’s exactly what they did. Their belief in healing became my belief. And soon I began to heal.

It will be the same for you, too. Surround yourself with survivors you admire. Make these people your role models. They’re the ones who will help you believe you can heal.

Hey, I’m happy to be one of them. I know you can heal, because I healed. And if I can do it, you can, too!
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Is it hard for you to believe you can heal? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Why Do You Resist Healthy Change?

Parenting Your Inner Child

How Do I Connect With My Wounded Inner Child?

You Can Heal If You Believe It

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