Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

Releasing Your Authentic Self

12/27/2017

Are You a Survivor
of Child Abuse or Trauma?
If so, this Book
was Written for YOU!

Releasing Your Authentic Self

A Daily Guide to Help
Child Abuse and Trauma Survivors
Rediscover Themselves

by Svava Brooks

$14.95 Paperback (live Amazon link)
$9.95 Kindle ebook (live Amazon link)

(381 pages)

Child abuse teaches you to disconnect from your “authentic self.” It’s the only way to survive the trauma of abuse. Because of that, adult survivors need to dig deep to reconnect with who they truly are, because their real identity has been hidden for decades.

And that’s why I wrote Releasing Your Authentic Self. I wanted to give you a very special tool to help you do just that!

In this life-changing book for child abuse and trauma survivors, you’ll receive a tiny piece of your “truth” every day for 365 days. Each truth is followed by two questions, which encourage you to dig deep enough to rediscover your beautiful, authentic self.

Feel free to write your answers to these questions directly in the book like a workbook. I’ve left plenty of room after each question for you to do that.

These questions were created to bypass the resistance of your conscious mind and reveal your toxic core issues. Every time you eliminate a core issue, you’re one step closer to releasing your authentic self.

If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, Releasing Your Authentic Self is the tool you’ve been searching for. Nothing is more exciting than rediscovering that incredible, unique, awesomely wonderful person you were destined to be. Much love to you on this amazing journey!

What Are Readers Saying About Books by Svava Brooks?

“Journey to the Heart is a well-written, supportive, and gentle work to help anyone with trauma in their past learn how to live a thriving life in the present.” (E.K.)

“I am grateful for Journey to the Heart and its author, Svava Brooks. This book is filled with so much compassion and understanding that only another trauma survivor is able to put into words. Bought a copy for myself and gave a copy as a gift to my therapist to share with her other clients. I highly recommend this book.” (A.)

“This woman totally gets it. Bottom line, this author will hold your hand as you work through the dark places, and you will KNOW that those feelings cannot hurt you now, so you are free to develop into the person who has been struggling to show itself!” (D.)

Isn’t it time you began living your life
as the happy, healthy person
you were always meant to be?

Order this Life-Changing Book TODAY!

Releasing Your Authentic Self

A Daily Guide to Help
Child Abuse and Trauma Survivors
Rediscover Themselves

by Svava Brooks

$14.95 Paperback (live Amazon link)
$9.95 Kindle ebook (live Amazon link)

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Are you a survivor of abuse or trauma? Are you struggling with your healing journey? I can help! If you are ready to start "Thriving" I have just the support for you. If you are ready to do the deep, hard work of healing and create lasting change, succeed by joining a community of people just like you working through the RYAS book, one day at a time. You are worth it! Follow this link to learn more

Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Heal From Abuse by Validating Your Hurt Inner Child

12/18/2017

2 Comments

Do you get hurt a lot in life? Do people just seem to let you down constantly or it feels like they are intentionally hurting you? Does it feel like a reoccurring theme in your life? It used to be for me too.

The reason why you, as an adult, always feel hurt by others is not necessarily because those other adults actually are hurting you. It is because your inner child is hurting and is seeking that validation all the time, in good ways and bad. The part of you that needs your validation is your hurt and your hurt is being fed by your inner child.

You were just a child and might have even depended on the person that hurt you. This betrayal sets you up for expecting the worst from those that are closest to you. And therefore we often choose never to risk letting anyone in, in the first place... since you believe it is just a matter of time before the betray you.

I did not find a way to break my silence and get the help I needed until I was in my twenties. I had struggled with isolation and depression because it felt very risky to open up to people, to let them in. I was very social but I did not know how to connect on a deep, meaningful level. I didn't understand it then, but what I was hiding was my shame. When we feel that we are bad or shameful, we live our life on guard, always defensive and expecting the worst.

The hard part is for us to become aware of how present this core but false belief is in your life. I would like to invite you to consider that deep inside there is a hurt little child that is asking for your help, that needs your help. And I remember in the beginning, the idea of connecting with my little girl was scary. The feelings and the hurt were big and felt too big for me to handle at first. The sadness, the anger, the loneliness, feeling so unlovable. Yikes, I can still remember how hard those feelings felt.

Here is the good news. The feelings are big but not as big as you think. They only feel big because that inner child is little, but you are not, not anymore.

But this inner child is the source of most of your pain, anxiety, and depression. It is the part of you that desperately needs you to learn to know and feel your feelings in a healthy way and let that sad little child feel the feelings while you lovingly listen, seeing and feeling everything he/she needs to let go of the hurt.

When I learned to hold, validate, and love my little girl, it was as if someone had put me into a different world. It did take time but slowly it felt like people were more loving towards me and I had an easier time setting boundaries and saying no. When I connected with this precious part of myself, I wanted to protect her, love her, stay healthy for her, and help her express the truth that she had been denied for so long.

So whether this is your first visit to my blog or the twentieth, I hope this empowers you to dig deeper and start to connect with your wounded little self. That is the part of you that holds your light and all of your many the gifts to the world. It is worth exploring what gifts he/she can bring to your life if you let him/her.

I would love to hear how you are doing with your emotions and what feeling you find the hardest to express. If you are not sure how to do that or where to start, I am doing a webinar this week that I know will help you get started on learning about inner child work and learning how to love yourself after abuse.

Here is the link to register for the webinar.

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Want to be learn more about your inner child or how to feel your feelings in a safe way? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Be Your Own Hero By Breaking the Silence

12/11/2017

2 Comments

Last week, Times Magazine revealed that their choice for person of the year for 2017 was the silence breakers, the courageous women that over the last few months broke the silence and disclosed abuse, harassment, and assault from men in very powerful public positions. For so many of my colleagues and survivors, this is not new news but it is finally getting the much needed attention and outrage we need for meaningful change to happen.

I think the decision and timing of this news is exactly what was needed for the #MeToo movement. I wanted to share some thoughts in this blog that I also shared on social media the day of this announcement.

I went back and listened to a short video interview with Tarana Burke the founder of the #MeToo hashtag. Her intention when she started using it a few years back was as a response to sexual violence, to encourage all survivors to find their journey towards healing. To let other survivors know their story matters, they are not alone, and to support one another with empathy and kindness.

No matter how public or private your #MeToo declaration was, your story matters. All victims matter. It is time that we continue with the dialog of how to change the paradigm around the issue of abuse and assault. We need courageous people to support each other to do the right thing. Not just one time but over and over. Be a little relentless. That is what it is going to take.

What does that mean? Tarana shared in her video that what is going on is not just an event, but a movement. Just like the healing journey is not just one session, one time with a trusted friend where you share the abuse you suffered. Healing takes commitment, commitment to ourselves that no matter what happened, we need to focus on our strengths and be gentle with ourselves as we create daily practices of residence and wellness to be able to move forward and restore our body, mind and spirit, for the rest of our lives.

That is the kind of relentless energy we need for this movement. We need to normalize the conversation about abuse and trauma. It is taking place all over this country at alarming rates, but until we feel comfortable talking about it openly and with courage, we aren't going to support the millions of victims in this country to come forward because of the fear that speaking up will welcome retaliation and harm to themselves or their families.

There are many reasons why victims of abuse or sexual assault don't disclose or report their abuse. Most do not because they fear that they will not be believed. Many fear ridicule from friends and family. Some have been threatened and some don't even know that what is happing to them is abuse, especially in the case of children, if no one has educated them about their boundaries, safe touch, and the ability to say "no" to anyone that makes them feel uncomfortable. Parents need to empower children with a healthy dialog about rules, consent, and relationships and teach them that no matter who the person is that they are uncomfortable with, whether teacher, coach, friend, or even family member, you will always believe them.

In 2004, after about 10 year of healing, I began telling my story in public, sharing the impact of growing up in a home where I was physically and sexual abused. I'll never forget that "coming out" period. It was painful and there were times when I thought I’d collapse beneath the overwhelming shame I felt inside. I was terrified of what people would think of me if they knew the truth about the abuse I’d suffered as a little girl. For a long time I felt responsible for the abuse, that somehow it was my fault. I now know it was never my fault.

But through the grace of God, I was given the strength and the willingness to push through my fears. Sometimes I think it's because I'm stubborn But I also knew what was at stake. I had finally realized no one was coming to save me...I had to save myself. I was a mom now and I wanted to heal for my child. I had to learn how to restore my broken heart and wounded soul. And no one could do it for me.

As I told my story, I broke the silence and revealed secrets that weren't my secrets to keep. The shame began to lessen. The more openly I talked about it, the lighter and more hopeful I felt. I had so many people reaching out to me, sharing their story. I finally knew I was not alone.

The worst part about my childhood was not the abuse. It was the fact that I had no one to talk to about it, and no one to ask for help. There was no one to support or validate me. Not one person!

After 12 years of public speaking about the issue of child sexual abuse, this experience serves as the foundation for the work I do now. As an abuse survivor coach and support group facilitator, I can listen to the stories of survivors all day long, because I know how important it is to be heard. I know that sounds almost too simple but for an abuse survivor, it makes all the difference. It gives us hope for a brighter future. I model for them how they should be listened to and treated by any caring adult that they find the courage to share their story with.

So when abuse survivors tell you their story, listen with your heart, let them know you hear them, and acknowledge the truth of the injustice. Let them know they can count on you to listen. Encourage them to do whatever it takes to heal, restore, and live a wholehearted life. Healing is possible and they need to know that. There is hope!

If you are reading this and feeling like you don’t know how to be a part of the movement, where to start, or you are looking for a safe place to tell your story, then I'm here to tell you, I can help.

You need support. We all need support. We are all called to do something we have not done before. It feels uncomfortable because you don’t know if you will offend someone just by standing up for a child and another human being. But you got this. The stakes are high. I have offended a few adults along the way but I have protected countless children by doing so. Find your voice no matter how small in the beginning.

Sexual assault and sexual abuse prevention education works! It is actually empowerment training giving you the tools to change your behavior and start to take action. It is time we respect each person we encounter and lead with kindness, curiosity, and courage. Get the education you need to move out of fear and take action. Taking action is the antidote to fear.

Waking up to this news last week made my day. It really made my year! I think we will look back at this year in our history and realize that though it was a hard year, some big breakthrough occurred because of it. There is always a silver lining… I do believe that.

So to all of you silence breakers, Thank You! We did it! Now let´s use this momentum and let’s keep going.

If you are looking for support, here is a link to a closed Facebook group for peer support for survivors of abuse or trauma.
If you are interested in prevention education, please visit d2l.org

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Want to be a part of the movement? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life or to be a part of a movement. Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

2 Comments

Connecting With Your Creative Inner Self Can Help You Heal

12/5/2017

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Healing after abuse or trauma is a very creative process. I didn't used to think so but the truth is, survivors have found very creative ways to cope after the trauma, to stay ahead of the memories, whether it was because they simply did not have the support they needed or to stay busy enough to avoid feeling the the pain. But it does catch up with us eventually.

In order to survive, we create stories about ourselves, our childhood, our families, and the past. We creatively numb, distract, or disassociate from the truth because we have not felt safe to acknowledge the truth, not inside our bodies or in our families or communities. But we don’t see that we are being creative, very resourceful, and resilient.

Recognizing that you are creative opens up the possibility for you to see things differently and my favorite part about creative thinking is that it creates space for authenticity. You can do it your way, not like anyone else. Because “art” is anything the creator wants it to be, a form of self expression. You also don’t have to share with anyone for it to be creative. And when it comes to sharing your story, I encourage you to not share it until you are sure that the person hearing it will celebrate you and honor your courage and your work. People have to earn our trust for us to choose to share our heartbreaking stories of trauma and the creative stories of our healing.

I know I am not the first person to shudder in a workshop or a class when the teacher announced that we were going to create art to help us with the next part of healing. I have learned to recognize where this comes from in me. It is the "little miss perfect" in me that did not dare create anything unless it was perfect. I now scoop her up into my arms and let her know that this is actually where we get to paint outside the lines and scribble in any color if that is what feels right in the moment. I am not going to compare her creativity to someone else’s like I used to. No more.

The healing journey is about finding our way back to our truth, our authentic selves, and along the way we do get to reconnect with our inner child that did like arts and crafts. Do you remember?

I would love to hear how you are using your creativity on your healing journey and how it is helping you. Whether you are writing new stories, acknowledging the hurt, the truth, stories, creating poems, sharing your feelings.Or maybe playing or listening to music that moves your heart, or gets you dancing, going to the gym, getting out into nature, creating a vision board or collage where you paste images, magazine clippings, adding color and glitter, images that move you, inspire you and empower you, speaking, singing, instruments, chanting, movement, dancing, skipping...to stay true to the truth of who you are, your authentic creative self!

The options are endless and amazing. I can’t wait to hear from you if you are willing to share, either here on the blog or just hit reply to my email and tell me how you have connected your creativity and healing. If you have created an identity like I did, that I am NOT an artist, be gentle with yourself. Put your hand on your heart and find where that resistance lives in your body. Get to know it like an old friend. Take lots of time and go slow. Let your inner child know you are not here to make him or her do anything they are not willing to do. You just want them to play with you a little when they are ready. And keep showing up. Slowly find the ways to remind you and your parts where you are already creative. Help them shift in perception of what is allowed and acceptable.

And fall in love with your creativity!

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Do you struggle with finding your way back to your truth? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

0 Comments

Releasing Your Authentic Self

Heal From Abuse by Validating Your Hurt Inner Child

Be Your Own Hero By Breaking the Silence

Connecting With Your Creative Inner Self Can Help You Heal

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