But it took me a long time to realize this. Child abuse survivors are so disconnected from our emotions that we don’t know we’re control freaks, and we have no idea why we desperately crave control.
I was an extreme case. I would actually complete other people’s sentences for them. I thought that was a wonderful part of my personality. In fact, I had several irritating “talents” like this. Too funny, huh?!
When I began to heal, I realized control is a toxic coping mechanism and the result of the abuse and trauma I had endured. Because I was a powerless child in a chaotic home, my emotional stability became a crazy rollercoaster, which led me to try to control every aspect of my adult life.
The result? I drove everyone around me nuts. Yikes!
Here’s what I finally learned about control. The only thing I have control over is ME. That’s it. I can’t control the past. I can’t control the future. I can’t control other people. My only responsibility is to become a healthy, happy human being. Period.
Today, self-care, self-compassion, and self-love are top priorities to the “flexible” person I’ve become. When I feel the need to control, I know it’s just my wounded inner child panicking (yes, this still happens sometimes). So I put my hand on my heart, remind her I’m here to take care of her, and let her know she’s safe.
Your quality of life is directly linked to your ability to be flexible. That means letting go of the need to control everyone and everything in your life.
To accomplish that, make non-attachment and non-resistance your new goals. Yes, in the process you’ll confront old fears. But don’t worry. You’re safe now. And the new life you’re creating as an adult will be filled with more peace, joy, and happiness than you’ve ever experienced. I guarantee it!
Are you struggling with control issues? Do your friends and family call you a “control freak”? Are you driving yourself and everyone around you nuts? If so, I can help you learn to become the happy, flexible person you were born to be. Just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!
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