First, there was the outrage over the verdict in the Stanford rape case. This has been an emotionally difficult experience for all sexual abuse survivors. I applaud those who spoke up, stepped forward in support of the victim, and demanded more accountability from our judicial system. And I applaud the courage and strength of the victim for her decision to go public with her testimony.
Next, there was the horrendous shooting in Orlando. The pain, grief, and senselessness of a mass murder is hard to fathom. The sadness of this tragedy almost overwhelmed me. And I wasn’t alone. A few of my clients were also triggered by the shooting. In some way, every trauma survivor has been shaken by it.
After years of living in fear, I know its power all too well. Fortunately, fear no longer rules my life. I’ve worked hard to conquer it. However, that doesn’t mean fear no longer rears its ugly head. It does. It just means I’ve learned how to manage it.
Fear is fueled by fear. The more fearful you become, the more power you give it. I no longer allow this to happen. I can feel fear in my body. I can see it coming. Because of my abusive past, fear will always be a part of who I am. But I don’t give it control. Instead, I break its power the minute it appears.
How? By talking to it like an old friend. I say: “Fear, I see you. I hear you. But I don’t need you right now. I’m not that scared little girl anymore. I’m a grown woman. I can handle this situation. You’re free to go. Thank you for checking in with me, but I’m doing just fine without you. Goodbye!”
The next time fear comes calling in your life, talk to it like that. You can’t completely eliminate fear from your life. But you can break its power. Start today. It’s a wonderful feeling!
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