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Finding Happiness in the Little Things in Life

5/14/2018

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Today, I wanted to do something different. I found this photo and it struck me. At first glance, it doesn't seem that extraordinary, like other photos of nature that circle the web. There isn't some breathtaking waterfall, huge mountains, glaciers, or an obvious beach shot. It's just a photo taken out in a field, with small flowers and a bit of sunshine. And yet it is beautiful.

My reminder to you today is go find beauty and happiness in the little things. You don't need to live near a tropical beach or beautiful countryside to be able to go outside and have a wonderful day. If you need to see some beauty, if you are in desperate need to connect with some nature, go out in your backyard and find a single flower. Walk down the street to find your favorite tree. Or even find a random park around the corner and let your toes feel the grass for a bit. It all makes a difference, it is all beautiful even if you don't notice it at first.

Why is this an important habit? It teaches your brain to appreciate the little things. It teaches your brain that even the smallest bits of happiness are all you need to have a wonderful day. That you don't need EVERYTHING to go right in your day to make it a good one. Because you won't let the seemingly larger amount of bad things bring you down. You will push the negative thoughts away with the thought of the beautiful wildflower. You won't think today is a bad day because you got to feel grass beneath your feet. And tomorrow can't be bad either because you get to walk up to your favorite tree and give it a hug and let its ancient wisdom banish all your fears, guilt, and shame. Because there ARE more important things to worry about.

Choose to see the beauty today, my friends. Choose to see it every day. And by doing so, the world will become the most beautiful place in your eyes. Your world will exist only to show you and bring you the best of things because you are telling the universe that is all you care to see.  I invite you to try it!

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Are you struggling with finding beauty in your life? I know it feels put of reach at first. I would like to help! Just follow (this link) to book on my calendar or feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125).  Let me help you with the steps to a simple mindfulness practice.  You deserve it!  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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Healing is Not Linear

5/3/2018

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Let this truth bring you some peace today, my friends.

On your healing journey, you will have easy days, when the loving words come easily, when you look in the mirror and love what you see, when you feel the strength to silence your inner critic, when you feel powerful, loving, and calm enough to comfort your inner child and put him/her at ease.

But, as life goes, there will be bad days. There might be bad weeks. Life, that happens all around you, doesn't grow in straight lines and neither will you. But that doesn't mean you should stop moving forward, that doesn't mean you should give up.

Because it is after those hardest of days, those hardest of times, that you will hear the message you needed to, clearer and louder than ever, that you will have conquered something powerful which makes you MORE powerful than it, and you will learn each and every time, that you. are. still. here. You made it. You did it. And you can keep going.

Learn to love the ups and downs of your journey, my friends, accept the fact that it will keep surprising you. And don't feel ashamed if you are in your "down" period, if you feel like you are taking two steps back. Look around you, because everyone else is taking the same uneven, undecided, and unsure journey.

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Feeling stuck on the healing journey? Don’t worry. Just follow (this link) to book on my calendar or feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125).  Let me help you reclaim your power and move forward again.  You go this!  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.

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Why Am I Not Moving Forward in My Healing?

3/28/2018

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I wrote this blog post a few months ago and quite a few people responded to it, thanking me for sharing these steps. I am glad I did because I struggled with understanding why I was stuck for a long time. This is a question I asked myself for a long time. Why was I stuck, why did I always fall back to my old destructive ways?

So many people could diagnose me. So many people could tell me what was wrong with me. But few could actually help me heal. It got to be very frustrating and I was discouraged.

Now I know why. Because my healing wasn’t the task of these other people. It was my job. I had to take all the information I had gathered about recovering from child abuse and trauma and move that knowledge from my head to my heart.

In other words, I had to do the tough, messy work of applying it to my own life. But what I was still searching for, even after I gathered the steps, was finding someone to somehow model these steps for me. To engage with me in a way that demonstrated these steps in action. 

Here are the seven steps child abuse and trauma survivors need to take in order to heal. If you want to start to feel a shift in your healing, start to apply them every day. 

  1. Establish Safety.  Figure out what makes you feel safe. This is your first priority.
  2. Develop Courage. Eventually, your willingness to heal will develop into courage, as you take more and more healthy risks.
  3. Create a Mindfulness Practice. Connecting with your body is essential for healing. As abused children, we learned the toxic skill of disconnection.  Mindfulness will help you reconnect.
  4. Express Your Emotions.  Learn how to identify, listen to, feel, and express your emotions in a healthy way. All of them: the good, the bad, and the ugly!
  5. Change Your Negative Beliefs. You created these toxic beliefs as a way to survive an abusive childhood. But you’re an adult now. Change your story (beliefs) to what benefits your adult life.
  6. Practice Self-Care, Self-Love, and Self-Compassion. Put yourself first on your To-Do list.  Every day, find a way to lovingly care for and celebrate yourself. 
  7. Build a Support System. You can’t do this alone. Healing doesn’t work that way. Surround yourself with nourishing friends who support your healing goals, and a safe place to practice your new way of thinking/feeling/being. (This is the part I was missing for a long time.)

Just the act of implementing these seven steps is a major move forward on your healing journey. And even better is joining a group of people that are also making the shift, that are focusing and intending on daily action to heal their lives, to motivate you. Stick with it, stay connected to survivors that are doing the same thing, and you’ll experience a positive shift sooner than you think.

Why? Because healing is hard. Survivors doubt they can heal, wondering if they are worth it. We feel alone with these hard feelings, as if no one can understand. But you are not alone. Because these steps are more than a decision, it is a willingness and a commitment. A commitment to yourself that requires a lifestyle change, a change in your thoughts, feelings, and habits. We can not do that without constant support and accountability.

And that’s how you heal. Finally! And you will have a whole community of people to celebrate you, support you, and encourage you along the way. 

I would not suggest this support if I did not offer it. If you are ready to dig deep and heal this year and looking for the right support for you, please send me a note and book a free 30 min. session with me. (Limited time offer. Offer ends 4/6/18) Just follow (this link) 

I offer a few options and groups for you to choose from. Don't struggle alone. You are worthy of support and healing. I believe in you!

                                                                        ********

Ready to move forward? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125).  Let me help you get moving forward. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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Why Learning Self-Care Is One of the Most Rewarding Lessons

3/21/2018

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I struggled with self-care for a long time. It wasn’t an easy task for me. Back then, my self-care mostly consisted of numbing the pain. I was in too much pain and too ashamed of what had happened to me. It hurt too much to think about it. In the process, I had completely disconnected from myself and my needs.


What helped was when I learned about the long term impact of trauma or rather the long term impact of toxic stress on my body. I could easily see how the abuse I suffered made me not want to talk about the past, feel my feelings, or want to take care of my body. But what was invisible to me and my awareness was how the toxic stress from my childhood was still fueling the high level of cortisol in my body. The high levels of stress hormones in the body can create and contribute to long term problems with our heart and for our blood vessels. This information became a game changer for me.


I had to start to practice good self-care to help my body counter the years of living with toxic levels of stress in my body. My body was my vehicle to living a good life. I needed a healthy body if I was going to heal and restore, I was not sure how but I knew I wanted to experience feeling good about myself after all the healing.

Adding self-care to my life was difficult because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted and needed. I was really hard on myself about this, too. It was embarrassing. I was a grown woman but I didn’t know how to care for myself in a loving way.

However, I was very skilled at taking care of family and friends. I knew what they needed and I would go out of my way to make sure those needs were met. I always put them first, often at the expense of my own self-care.

Does this sound like you? If so, here’s how to stop neglecting yourself.

Self-care begins with awareness. Pay attention to what works, what doesn’t work, and what needs to be tweaked in your life.  

The best way to do this is to make a list:

  • What healthy foods did you eat today?
  • Did you exercise today?
  • How much water did you drink today?
    How much sleep did you get?
  • Did you do something today that gave you joy, something just for you?

Seems like a tall order, doesn’t it?  It did to me at first. With a busy work life and a family of five, I had no time in my day for taking care of “me.”   

But I was determined to do this, so I kept trying. I was especially motivated to not let the past take any more from my present life. It is my life now. My future that I was investing in. I knew it was my responsibility now to choose things that were good for me.

Then an amazing thing happened. I began to feel better about myself. I was shocked to discover self-care was helping me heal.  

Slowly, I started to treat myself with the respect and love I deserved. And it felt good. Really good. After a few ups and downs with my self-care, I learned what worked for me. I gave myself 12 months, a whole year to implement a new healthy habit. It has taken a few years but now I do some form of exercise 5 time per week. I drink plenty of water every day. I keep track of my sleep and I get 3 healthy meals every single day. My self-care journey was just as challenging as my emotional and mental health journey but I have to say it was the most rewarding. I know I have helped reverse some of the long term health affects my trauma caused and I get to feel good in my body and feel good about taking care of it.


You can do this, too. Make today the day you take those first steps toward your own self-care.  It won’t feel comfortable at first, but keep trying. You’ll be glad you did!
   
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Ready to tackle self care? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125).  Let me help you understand the impact, and how to start your healing journey. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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The Messy Middle Part of Your Healing Journey

3/5/2018

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Going through the hard part of healing, the messy middle, is demonstrated in what we see in nature as the winter turning to spring. At first, it looks muddy, gray, or lifeless. The frost, the layers of snow, the piles of dead leafs, the smell of decay and dirt is not always pleasant. You may even find yourself wading through the puddles of muddy water, muddy paths on your favorite hike, and slippery river banks as the water is running into the rivers and the river water is all cloudy and gray. 

How can you take solace in watching nature this season while you perhaps are going through your deep healing or the messy middle?

We have learned to trust the process and the season of change in nature, haven't we?  We know what happens and we know why. 

The same is happening on your healing journey. You have been courageously digging deep, gaining awareness that gave you clarity of what issues you are addressing or healing. You have planted a seed of new possibility for yourself. Whether it is your thinking or feeling that you are working to shift and change, if it is a deep core belief, a personal truth, or a boundary that you are establishing with yourself or others, the process is always the same and it takes time.   

After a dark, cold winder, we go into a soggy, messy spring that eventually leads to longer days, greener pastures, and blooming trees and flowers. The cycle is the same, every time. 

To support yourself through this process of healing, in times when you have forgotten that you are going through a cycle of change and that things do get better, make sure you have good support.Stay close and connected to others that are going through the same process, that can encourage you when things get hard. Don't go through healing alone. It is harder and more painful to do it alone. 

It takes courage to choose healing. Most of that courage is going to be needed to trust yourself, trust the process, to stay out of the way of what your body, mind, and spirit can and will do to heal itself. Because, just like in nature, a season of change is always right around the corner for you. The night is always darkest just before the dawn!

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Going through the messy middle? Feel stuck or alone?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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Becoming the Parent Your Inner Child Needed

2/27/2018

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What does becoming the change you want to see in the world look like?

So many victims of child abuse and trauma are stuck because they don't know that things can be different. Their inner world of tension, fear, and distrust has become their outer world. They have been living this way for so long that they don't know that things can shift and they don't know how or where to start. 

Then one day, they realize they are stuck and they want change but how to get unstuck is unclear, since this is brand new territory. Not only do survivors not know how to change, they don't know what that change looks, feels, or sounds like. Who do they turn to, what do they do next?

This was how I felt. The first 10 years or so of the healing journey was all about talking about and having my feelings about the past. I understood trauma and because of the unprocessed feelings and energy in my body, I needed to reconnect with my body, learn to care for it, appreciate it, be kind to it. That practice has taken a long time. 

What I learned from others only worked to a certain point. What I spent a long time searching for was someone outside of me to fix it, to show me, make me better. It was not until I started the daily practice of being kind to myself, practicing self-care, and really learning to listen to myself and what I needed, that things started to shift and I started to feel better about myself and hopeful about the future. 

Part of becoming the change I wanted to see in the world brought me to how I had wanted to be treated as a little girl. What kind of mother and father did I wish I had had? Someone that kept me safe. That loved and adored me for who I was, supported my talents and curiosity, helped me develop trust in myself and other people as I mastered the developmental stages of growing up through adolescence and into adulthood. I wanted someone that could have guided me through the challenges of becoming a partner and a mom. 

That's what I wanted to become. That was the change I wanted to see, not only in my mirror but to finally believe it about myself and embody and live out of these truths: I am a good person. I am a valuable person. I am a lovable person. I am a kind, compassionate person.  

So where did I start? With daily practice of self-care. With regularly checking in and practicing feeling my feelings and asking for support when I needed it. With making time to connect with my wounded inner child that felt abandoned, lonely and unlovable and by practice kindness, care, and love everday in my life, starting with myself. 

I am still a work in progress but I know I have navigated the challenging inner world of trauma healing. It is from this challenging journey that I can hold a safe place for my clients and show them the babysteps to learning how to be kind and gentle with ourselves as we learn what it looks and feels like to become the parent we needed and the courageus person we can be today. As we choose to love wholeheartedly, to live from our hearts, not our hurts, that will create the change the world needs now more than ever.
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Ready to become the parent and the protector that you needed? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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Accepting and Asking for Love and Affirmation in Order to Heal

2/12/2018

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One of the hardest parts about being a survivor is being able to believe people when they tell you good things about yourself, something you've done or created. The abuse took away our ability to believe in ourselves, it taught us that we must be bad because only bad people are abused. We must have deserved it. I remember thinking to myself when people would say nice things to me, "If they only new the truth about me" or "Yeah right, if you knew my secret, you would take it all back.”

So when we get older, that little voice in our head stays with us, criticizing everything we say or do, not allowing our true voice to say the things we want to say, out of shame and fear, and pushing away any positivity that people might bring our way.

"Dare to believe," my friends. It isn't easy but every time you are given loving words of affirmation, instead of brushing them away, retaliating with disbelief, or reacting with embarrassment, simply thank the person for their words and store them away for later.

You will tell that little voice in your head that nothing bad happens when you stop doubting and criticizing yourself and that you, the adult, are in charge of how you feel about yourself now. And remember those kind words that were said, think of them often, say them out loud to yourself, and soon you'll have the strength to hear more and love it when you hear them. The good news is that I did learn to receive and accept the kind words and like most things on the healing journey, I had to be intentional and mindful of how I wanted to respond and actually practice. And it worked! 

And when it feels good enough, don't be afraid to go to those you love and ASK for words of affirmation if you need it. Going to my friends and my husband for this greatly helped me with releasing shame and feeling so bad about myself. You can ask to be told you are loved, that you are special, that you are meaningful. The right people will have no problem saying it to you as many times as you need to hear it.

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Ready to start to work on receiving kind words? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.


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Creating a Deeper Connection With Yourself By Facing Your Feelings

2/5/2018

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Do you hide behind perfectionism or by micromanaging everything and everyone?  

I understand because I used to do that too. When I started my healing journey and started to understand how my shame and low self esteem kept me running in circles trying to hide all the ways I felt imperfect, I was flooded by sadness. 

For most of my life, I had spent so much energy keeping the feelings at bay by working myself into the ground trying to be perfect, or just good enough it seemed. This negative energy kept feeding on itself, that no matter how hard I worked and how much better I tried to perform, it never felt good enough.  

This fear of being found out can also get in the way of us having close meaningful relationships. You'll waste so much time and energy in relationships always performing a task, trying to be good enough/helpful enough, or hoping for some shred of validation from others that your life looks okay.

This is truly a vicious cycle that feeds your anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, and distrust towards yourself and others, that in turn you try to protect yourself from, by blaming, judging, care-taking, withdrawing, or explaining. Then in turn, this protective behavior creates problems in your relationships, makes you feel exhausted and you're stuck, not knowing how to make a change or to stop this cycle. 

So how do you stop this cycle?  

The first step is to becoming aware if it. After that, there are some steps you can take:

1. Whenever you feel anything other than peace or joy in your body, get curious. 

2. Put your hand on your heart and take a few deep breaths to locate the feeling.

3. Ask this feeling what it is you're doing/saying to yourself that makes you feel this way.

4. Listen to your body. Your body is incredibly wise and is on your side. 

5. Validate your body/feelings. "I hear you, I see you, I feel you. Thank you for telling me the truth."

6. Take loving action. Give yourself the grace of time to work on this tension/feeling/fear in your body. Commit to checking in regularly. 

These simple steps can make such a big difference over time. You are demonstrating value and your worth by starting to listen to your body and creating a deeper connection with yourself through self-compassion.  

The truth is no one can define your worth but you. The truth is you are inherently valuable and worthy of love. You are a good, compassionate human being capable of caring, empathy, and joy. 

When we start to recognize and embrace this simple truth, we let go of needing other's approval because in your heart of hearts you know who you are, what you are, how you serve, and you know why!

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Ready to start to feel your feelings? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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Why Having Your Feelings is Necessary for Healing

1/22/2018

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There is always a theme in my work with my clients. Lately, we have been talking a bit about feeling our feelings. 

How do you feel about having your feelings? Does the thought of it make you feel uneasy, even scared? You are not alone. 

For most survivors of child abuse, the thought of expressing or allowing ourselves to feel what we have been hiding for so long is terrifying. Victims of abuse saw all kinds of violence and abuse take place around them and they knew instinctively that it was not safe to feel any of it, so victims shut it down and push it away.

It was not safe to talk about or to feel. Period. When children don't have the safety they need to talk about what happened, they turn it onto themselves. The repressed anger and fear turns into shame that feeds the part of you that feels responsible for what happened and that you caused it to happen.  

And though the repression might have kept you safe at the time, it is now the thing that is preventing your healing. In order to heal from our childhood, we have to learn to feel our feelings. There is just no way around it. Shame can hold survivors hostage for a long time. It is also the part of you that will come up to stop you when you feel ready to make some changes in your life, talk about what happened, and perhaps learn how to feel your feelings.

So where do we start? We start with learning where we have stored the feelings and the energy that we felt along with them. It is in our bodies. With a safe person, you learn to scan your body for where you are holding this feeling. Once you find it, you can gently let it know you are here to acknowledge the feeling, helping it to be seen and heard. It may be scared but it does want to be seen by you. Take as long as you need to sit with this feeling. Let the feeling and your body know that you are not going to rush it and no matter what the feeling is, it is not wrong or bad for feeling that.  

I invite my clients to put a hand on their hearts to support their body and their heart and feel the support for themselves. If that feels like too much, just talk gently in a soft voice to your feeling, let it feel your presence and kindness. Then as you feel it, intentionally let it go in a way that feels meaningful to you. Imagine driving it out through your feet into the earth. Or perhaps sending it away with the wind, giving it to God, writing it on piece of paper, and burning it in the fire.  

There are so many ways we can explore feeling and honoring our feelings. It is important. It is your truth. And the more you say your truth, the more it sets you free. 

                                                                           ********

Ready to tackle the impact of your trauma? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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Giving Your Inner Child the Love & Protection He/She Was Missing

1/16/2018

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Picture
Abuse took away your identity. It took away your birthright coming into this world  needing to feel loved, adored, and nurtured. This sets survivors up for confusion later in life. 

I did a small group presentation last year with a group of survivors and when I mentioned this birthright, a young woman in the group started to cry and asked, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

I could feel her pain. My words had stirred her heart. Her sadness, her aching heart and loneliness. With my hand on my heart, and as present and in my heart as I know how to be, I told her, "unfortunately, they don't know it either."

Humans learn the good and the bad from their caregivers. Kids watch their parents interactions, relationships, and how they are treated by others, especially from childhood. We watch how people take care of themselves. Then we take all this information and translate it into how we fit into this word and the family we grow up in. And for most children growing up, there was something missing. We know it, and because we don't know how to ask for it and no one is talking about it, we assume there is something wrong with us.

The sad part is that children that grow up with basic needs going unmet grow up with this constant nagging feeling that there is something missing but they don't know how to fix it, make it better, or make the hurt go away. We can't because we need to connect and it does not go away until we learn to connect with ourselves and the unmet needs that live inside of us. As we learn to meet those needs we are becoming the parent and the protectors that we needed when we were children. 

Here is the thing to remember. Childhood is meant to be a safe place for children to navigate the truth of who they are and what important skills they need to master given the age and development to begin to build self-esteem and a sense of belonging. Most adults today did not get this from their parents. Their parents just did the best they could. Most of them did, I do believe that, but just did not know how to meet the deep needs of their children. This is not something people talked about or even understood.

The good news is that it is not too late. If you are reading this and feeling the nudge to learn how to nurture, accept, and validate your inner child, you can. I am re-playing a webinar on inner child work if you would like to learn more. Here is the (link) I also love to teach inner child work to my clients and am happy to show you if you need some guidance. 

It is wonderful to see people slowly put together the pieces and learn the truth of who they are. You are not your hurt.  To finally realize their true identity and who they are meant to be. That is when we find fulfillment in our relationships and in our work as we dare to go after our dreams, explore our passions and share our gifts with the world. 

Are you ready to learn who you are? I would love to help. If you would like to learn how inner child work can help you, I am offering a free 30 min session to anyone that has not talked to me before and wants to explore how I work. Here is the link to my calendar. Don't wait, book it now!! Can't wait to hear from you. 

                                                                          ********

Ready to tackle the impact of your trauma? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.


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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
Ph: 619-889-6366  
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