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Why Getting Educated about Trauma Was the Turning Point in My Healing Journey

1/8/2018

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Something that helped me immensely on the healing journey was to get educated about the manifestation of trauma and the impact that abuse has on survivors and their well being. It was especially helpful in the beginning of my journey, when I was still in denial about the abuse I suffered and how it impacted me. I thought because I was out of the house and away from the person that was abusive that I was fine. I did not understand that I had spent my life in fight/flight/freeze mode and that because of it, I had developed behaviors and habits that had served well to protect me from the fear and pain, but that those habits were no longer helpful but toxic to my body and soul. 

It was in support groups that I slowly identified what my coping behaviors were. That I was not my coping behaviors and that many of my core beliefs were false. When I realized this hard truth, I was devastated. If I am not who I think I am, who I have been for the last 20 years of my life? Who am I??

After letting the sadness and grief come up and working through it over a few years, I realized that no matter what I had been through, I was still here. And deep in my heart of hearts, I was committed to uncovering the truth and to learning what I had found to be a truth that I was starting to believe in: that every single one of us is here to learn about love. That we are all unique and important and have gifts to share with the world. It just took a few more years until I discovered what mine were. 

As I read countless books on trauma and attended many conference on trauma, I heard all about the impact the trauma had on my mental, emotional, physical, and social well being. It was hard at times and I would feel triggered and have flashbacks. But I kept going. 

It was when I heard about the ACE study (link to the ace study) that it all came together for me. I heard the scientific proof that the toxic stress of my childhood had set me up for a long list of physical, emotional, and mental health issues that would manifest in my life sooner than later. It was brutal. I can still remember holding onto the chair I was sitting in, to not run out of the room, but I am grateful today for the truth I heard then. 

It pushed me to really focus on my health and wellness and now, 10 years later, I know that I have reversed some of the impacts by relentless self-care, mindfulness, and a balanced life style. Though I am always a work in progress, I became determined to life fully. To claim my birthright to thrive and live wholeheartedly. It became my new lifestyle and each year, I set a goal for myself that helps me grow, learn, and thrive as a human being in a healthy body. 

So what I want to encourage you, my reader, to take away from this blog post is to start to focus more on your balanced and healthy life style. It truly is the path for healing your body/mind/spirit and creating more meaningful and connected relationships with yourself and others. It is the path to what we all want, to feel connected and feel that we belong and are loved. You can have that and feel that. Just start today and start small. Slowly create new healthy habits that phase out the old habits/behaviors that you learned when you did not have a choice. Now you can choose you!

You will wake up one day and recognize that you have the power to change how you feel, that you can choose peace and joy, no matter the circumstance and start to feel grateful for the body you have been given to experience love, gratitude, and connection to those you love and care about. 

So make this year count with a small beginning or a new step towards your fulfilled and healthy life. It is worth, it. You are worth it! 

I believe in you...always.   
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Ready to tackle the impact of your trauma? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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How Can TRE® Help You?

10/30/2017

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Being in Iceland this month, teaching TRE®, has been such a rewarding experience.  What a blessing to be able to witness the immediate benefits of TRE® on the two groups I’m leading!

If you’re a survivor of child abuse or trauma, there are many immediate and long-term benefits to TRE®, like:

  • Less Worry & Anxiety
  • Reduces Symptoms of PTSD
  • More Energy & Endurance
  • Improved Marital Relationships
  • Less Workplace Stress
  • Better Sleep
  • Less Relationship Conflict
  • Increased Flexibility
  • Greater Emotional Resiliency
  • Decreases Symptoms of Vicarious Trauma
  • Healing of Old Injuries
  • Lessens the Anxiety of a Serious Illness
  • Relief from Chronic Medical Conditions

But there are also long-term benefits for those who aren’t survivors of abuse or trauma.  One of those benefits is a reduction in muscle and back pain.

Unfortunately, I know this type of chronic pain well.  I was an athlete in high school and sustained a painful neck injury, which continues to plague me.  I was delighted to discover the shaking of my spine during a TRE® session has increased the flexibility of the muscles in my neck and shoulders.  It does this by stimulating the flow of blood to the muscles surrounding the bones in my neck.  Wow!  

Several of the people in my TRE® groups in Iceland are athletes or those who work out regularly.  They’re noticing the tremors created by TRE® have improved the flexibility of those extra tight muscles in the legs and pelvis, like the psoas muscles (hip flexors) and hamstrings.

All humans are born with the ability to shake out stress and tension.  But this isn’t something we’re taught in our modern society.  Instead, the body’s natural shaking (healing response) to trauma is seen as a weakness in our culture.  We learn from an early age to suppress it.

The biology of the human body contains all the wisdom and knowledge it needs to heal itself.  TRE® restores this natural healing ability by helping your body remember how to eliminate trauma naturally.  How cool is that?  

Is TRE® a healing tool you’d like to try?  If so, contact me for more information.  I’m always happy to help!
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Are you struggling with chronic pain or stubborn healing issues, and you’d like to try TRE®?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Why Do You Resist Healthy Change?

8/28/2017

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As you can tell from my blog post topics this summer, I’m on a mission to help you dig deep enough to uncover hidden toxic coping skills and patterns.  These are what fuel your triggers and create major stumbling blocks on your healing journey.  

Thanks so much for all your emails and comments about this series of blog posts.  I’m thrilled to hear I’m giving you the kind of information you want and need!  

Today, I’d like to tackle the frustrating issue of “resistance.”  Why do we resist healthy change?  Why does resistance rear its stubborn head every time we decide to do something good for ourselves?  It makes no sense!  

Or does it?

Actually, it makes perfect sense.  Every scary door you open on your healing journey contains an important message.  Resistance is no exception.  

The purpose of resistance is to protect you.  Once again, this is a biological brain issue.  Your brain keeps you safe.  That’s one of its many skills.  However, change involves stepping outside your comfort zone.  Change is risky, and risk can be dangerous.  This is why any kind of change flips the switch that sends your brain into “Protection Mode.”  The end result is resistance.  

Fortunately, you can dissolve resistance.  The first step is to identify it.  Resistance takes many forms: foggy brain, discouragement, overwhelm, panic attacks, anxiety, a brick wall, a swamp, quicksand, or your inner critic.  

The second step is to sit patiently with resistance.  Let it know you’re grateful for the way it has always kept you safe.  Tell it you appreciate how it has never allowed you to deal with more than you can emotionally or psychologically handle.  By doing this, you build trust.  

Now resistance can loosen its iron grip on your mind, emotions, and body.  Only then will it reveal its message.

Today, make the decision to work with resistance rather than against it.  When you do, you’ll find it much easier to make those healthy changes!
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Has resistance turned your healing journey into an uphill climb?  Is your brain so foggy you have no idea what to do next?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!
​


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Parenting Your Inner Child

8/21/2017

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Becoming a loving, caring, nurturing parent to your inner child can be scary at first.  This child remembers every minute of the child abuse you survived, even if you’ve blocked out the worst of it.  Ouch!  

But don’t worry.  Your inner child isn’t going to unleash all those horrible memories on you.  Instead, it will only be the parts of you that need healing, the parts you have rejected or ignored.

Yes, your inner child is angry.  That’s scary, too.  Mine was furious.  She wasn’t as upset about the abuse from the past as she was the fact that I had rejected her for decades.  I kept giving her to other people to love.  She didn’t want their love.  She wanted mine.

The wonderful thing about making the commitment to do inner child work is you discover just how loving you can be as an adult.  In my case, I discovered I was capable of creating safety for this little girl.  I could make her a top priority in my life.  I could protect her.  I could even help her express her negative emotions without allowing her to wallow in self-pity and blame.  I had no idea I could do any of this until I tried.

I keep a photo of myself as a child on my nightstand.  Seeing her every day helps me stay connected to her.  When I look at it, I feel her presence, and she feels mine.  That’s usually all she needs to feel safe.

Whenever fear or anxiety appears in my body I know it’s her.  All I have to do is ask her what she needs from me.  It’s usually a safety issue.  I may have taken a big step in my career, or a troublesome situation may have triggered her.  She just needs to know I’m there for her and will protect her.  I’m her loving parent and always will be.   

What I love most about my inner child is that she’s also the part of me connected to God.  By loving myself in this way, I’m opening the door to God’s unconditional love.  I may be parenting her, but she is teaching me how to love everyone and everything.

Wow.  It doesn’t get any better than that, my friends!
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Do you need help connecting with and learning how to parent your inner child?  Is healthy change difficult for you?  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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You Can Heal If You Believe It

8/7/2017

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When I began my healing journey, I didn’t know if I could heal.  But I was hopeful.

Back then, there were plenty of people who could tell me what was wrong with me and why.  They could diagnose me with depression.  They could tell me the depression was caused by the trauma I had suffered as an abused child.  But few could give me what I needed most at that time: someone who believed I could heal.  

And that’s my message for you today.  If there’s one belief you need to cultivate after child abuse or trauma, it’s the belief that you can heal.   

How do you do it?  The same way I did!  

I searched until I found survivors who inspired me.  These people were able to show me what it looked like to heal after child abuse and trauma.  They showed me how to move from barely surviving to gloriously thriving.  Their lives had become their healing testimony.  

From these courageous survivors, I learned healing from child abuse and trauma is a lifelong process.  Even though I’m thriving today as my authentic self and loving every minute of it, I’m still growing and changing.  Every week I learn new ways to heal, and every week I heal a little bit more.

All of this began with a decision to surround myself with survivors who inspired me.  They believed they could heal, and that’s exactly what they did.  Their belief in healing became my belief.  And soon I began to heal.  

It will be the same for you, too.  Surround yourself with survivors you admire.  Make these people your role models.  They’re the ones who will help you believe you can heal.  

Hey, I’m happy to be one of them.  I know you can heal, because I healed.  And if I can do it, you can, too!
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Is it hard for you to believe you can heal?  If so, I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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What Do You Believe, and Does It Serve You?

7/31/2017

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Have you noticed my recent blog posts have been building on a certain theme?  Each one is written to take you deeper and deeper into your healing.  My intent is to help you tackle your core issues and accelerate your healing.  Sounds good, doesn’t it?  I think so!  

Today, let’s talk about what we believe.  It’s more important than you might think.  

Unfortunately, abused children are told many lies.  Children are sponges, and they’re born into this world, trusting their parents and caretakers.  It’s only natural for them to absorb and believe everything they’re taught.  Even if what they’re taught isn’t true.   

Every single thing we do is a direct response to what we believe.  Everything we say and think is also based on these core beliefs.  So my question to you is what do you believe?

Unless you’re consciously choosing healthy beliefs, creating new habits based on those beliefs, and changing your behavior to match those beliefs, you’re living your life on “autopilot.”  Autopilot for a survivor of child abuse means you’ll continue to live according to the toxic lies and beliefs you were taught by your abuser.  Ouch!

To change this toxic lifestyle pattern, I encourage you to question all your beliefs.  Ask yourself: where did this belief come from?  Is it authentic to who I am?  Does it serve me?  Does it serve others?

If you’re not sure what you believe, start here.  I’ve taken six toxic core beliefs, and I’ve changed them into healthy core beliefs.  You can do the same.    

  • Change I am unworthy (the lie) into I am worthy (the truth).
  • Change I have no value (the lie) into I am valuable (the truth).
  • Change I’m not enough (the lie) into I am enough (the truth).
  • Change I am a burden (the lie) into I am a gift (the truth).
  • Change I am weak (the lie) into I am strong (the truth).
  • Change I am not lovable (the lie) into I am loved by God (the truth).

Cultivate the habit of questioning every old and new belief you hold.  If a belief doesn’t serve your authentic self, it’s toxic.  Dump it or change it into a healthy belief.  

That’s how you live day by day as your authentic self!
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Is your brain too foggy from trauma to discover your core toxic beliefs?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

​
Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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How Do We Develop Courage?

7/23/2017

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If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you may remember I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago about the 7 steps most child abuse survivors must take in order to heal.  

I received a wonderful response to it from several of you.  Thanks!  If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, here’s the link:
                                                      link

In this blog post, I’d like to discuss the second of these 7 steps: Develop Courage.  As you know, we don’t start out on our healing journey feeling courageous.  In the beginning, courage is the last thing we feel.  We’re uncertain of the path, the process, and the outcome.  
That’s a completely normal response.  Fortunately, your willingness to heal will eventually develop into courage with each healthy risk you take on your journey.

The reason we don’t feel courageous is because change is hard for survivors of child abuse.  Thankfully, we’re not defenseless kids anymore.  We’re adults.  Now we’re the ones with all the power.  We can make the choice to heal.  We can be willing to change.  We can take small steps forward every day on our healing journey.  We can use purposeful intent to work each of these 7 steps.  

Yes, we’ll probably have to remind ourselves every day of our commitment to heal.  I know I did!  But that daily reminder is what keeps us going.

Today, I want you to realize you’re already a courageous person.  You may not feel that way, I know.  But it takes tremendous courage to begin your healing journey.  And you did that.  

Now you need to wake up every morning, willing to do what it takes that day to heal.  Do this every morning, and one day you’ll blossom into a capable, courageous, loving human being.

When it happens, that will be a very special day.  It’ll be the day you rediscover your authentic self.  How exciting!
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Are you having trouble with this second step?  Is feeling courageous a stumbling block for you?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback 
(link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


​Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here:
http://www.educate4change.com/


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WHY Do We Do What We Do?

7/17/2017

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This is such an important question.  In fact, it’s an integral part of your healing journey.  As survivors of child abuse and trauma, we must always ask “Why?”  

  • Why did I do that?  
  • Why did I say that?
  • Why did I think that?
  • Why am I feeling this particular emotion right now?  
  • Why is feeling this way important to me?

I help my clients answer these questions by teaching them how to feel their emotions and how to fall in love with themselves.  Nothing gives me more joy or satisfaction than showing them how to achieve this goal as quickly as possible.  The tools I give them are the same ones I use when faced with a challenge.  These are invaluable, timeless tools that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.

I often cry tears of happiness when my clients reach this point.  For example, most are awestruck at their ability to “feel” again.  After being numb for so long, they can finally feel good emotions.  They never thought they’d be able to do that again.  They thought they were too broken.  They weren’t.  

And neither are you.

I can totally relate to this.  When I began to feel again, it was a shocking moment for me.  I had no idea I could feel so much joy.  I never imagined I could feel so happy.  It was an overwhelming, awe-inspiring experience.  I thought I was incapable of feeling good emotions.  I wasn’t.

So keep asking yourself “Why?”  My relentless pursuit of the answer to this question in every area of my life is what led to my healing.  It took me to places deep inside me, dark places that needed to be healed.

It’ll be the same for you.  Pray about it.  Get God involved.  Question everything you think, feel, say, and do.  The path from Survivor to Thriver begins with one simple word: “Why?”
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Would you like to know how to feel your good emotions again?  Would you like to learn how to fall in love with yourself?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

​Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Why Can’t I Heal?

7/10/2017

5 Comments

 
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This is a question I asked myself for a long time.  So many people could diagnose me.  So many people could tell me what was wrong with me.  But few could actually help me heal.  

Why?  Because my healing wasn’t the task of these other people.  It was my job.  I had to take all the information I had gathered about recovering from child abuse and trauma and move that knowledge from my head to my heart.  In other words, I had to do the tough, messy work of applying it to my own life.  

Today, I’m going to make this task easier for you.  Here are the seven steps child abuse and trauma survivors need to take in order to heal.  Apply them every day.

  1. Establish Safety.  Figure out what makes you feel safe.  This is your first priority.
  2. Develop Courage.  Eventually, your willingness to heal will develop into courage, as you take more and more healthy risks.
  3. Create a Mindfulness Practice.  Connecting with your body is essential for healing.  As abused children, we learned the toxic skill of disconnection.  Mindfulness will help you reconnect.
  4. Express Your Emotions.  Learn how to identify, listen to, feel, and express your emotions in a healthy way.  All of them: the good, the bad, and the ugly!
  5. Change Your Negative Beliefs.  You created these toxic beliefs as a way to survive an abusive childhood.  But you’re an adult now.  Change your story (beliefs) to what benefits your adult life.
  6. Practice Self-Care, Self-Love, and Self-Compassion.  Put yourself first on your To-Do list.  Every day find a way to lovingly care for and celebrate yourself.
  7. Build a Support System.  You can’t do this alone.  Healing doesn’t work that way.  Surround yourself with nourishing friends who support your healing goals.

Just the act of implementing these seven steps is a major move forward on your healing journey.  Stick with it, and you’ll experience a positive shift sooner than you think.  Why?  Because these steps are more than a decision.  They’re a lifestyle change.  

And that’s how you heal.  Finally!

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If you’re having trouble with any of these steps, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

5 Comments

What Does Mindfulness Really Mean?

7/3/2017

2 Comments

 
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Mindfulness is about living in the moment and being present for the NOW.  We all know that.  But what you might not realize is “being present” doesn’t mean being present in your head.  Mindfulness really means being present in your body.


A big part of the healing journey is learning how to connect with your body again.  Self-compassion is a good example.  It’s the practice of becoming aware of what’s going on in your body, so you can experience what it feels like to be loving and kind to yourself.


Mindfulness is not a head thing.  You feel what’s happening in the present moment in your body and in your heart.  Not in your head.


Here’s what I mean.  You feel worries about the future and bad memories from the past in your body first.  Being connected to your body through mindfulness instantly alerts you that this is happening.  That gives you the opportunity to remind yourself the past is over, and no one has any control over the future.  Through mindfulness you can let go of these negative emotions and worries rather than repress them.


Your body’s awareness is actually faster than your mind.  For example, you feel the energy shift in a room, situation, or conversation in your body first.  Then your mind becomes aware of it.  This is also true of good and bad thoughts, memories, and every emotion.  


When you reconnect with your body through mindfulness, you’re no longer at the mercy of every stray thought, memory, or emotion.  You’ll know the instant your body senses something, which gives you the opportunity to choose what you want to think and feel at that moment.  


Reconnecting to your body through mindfulness expands every area of your awareness.  Suddenly, you can see how your life experiences made you the awesome, compassionate person that you are today.  You can see how all of this, the good and the bad, brought you to this present moment in time.  


When you see the “big picture” through the peace and calm of mindfulness, you can’t help feeling grateful for the gift you’ve become.  And that’s exactly what you are.  A precious gift!

                                                          ********​

Are you having trouble reconnecting to your body through mindfulness?  Is the practice of mindfulness difficult for you?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
Ph: 619-889-6366  
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