Thank you for visiting/subscribing to my blog. Please visit my new website/blog at www.svavabrooks.com/blog
Thank you!
Thank you!
| Educate4Change |
|
 Today, I wanted to do something different. I found this photo and it struck me. At first glance, it doesn't seem that extraordinary, like other photos of nature that circle the web. There isn't some breathtaking waterfall, huge mountains, glaciers, or an obvious beach shot. It's just a photo taken out in a field, with small flowers and a bit of sunshine. And yet it is beautiful.
My reminder to you today is go find beauty and happiness in the little things. You don't need to live near a tropical beach or beautiful countryside to be able to go outside and have a wonderful day. If you need to see some beauty, if you are in desperate need to connect with some nature, go out in your backyard and find a single flower. Walk down the street to find your favorite tree. Or even find a random park around the corner and let your toes feel the grass for a bit. It all makes a difference, it is all beautiful even if you don't notice it at first. Why is this an important habit? It teaches your brain to appreciate the little things. It teaches your brain that even the smallest bits of happiness are all you need to have a wonderful day. That you don't need EVERYTHING to go right in your day to make it a good one. Because you won't let the seemingly larger amount of bad things bring you down. You will push the negative thoughts away with the thought of the beautiful wildflower. You won't think today is a bad day because you got to feel grass beneath your feet. And tomorrow can't be bad either because you get to walk up to your favorite tree and give it a hug and let its ancient wisdom banish all your fears, guilt, and shame. Because there ARE more important things to worry about. Choose to see the beauty today, my friends. Choose to see it every day. And by doing so, the world will become the most beautiful place in your eyes. Your world will exist only to show you and bring you the best of things because you are telling the universe that is all you care to see. I invite you to try it! ******** Are you struggling with finding beauty in your life? I know it feels put of reach at first. I would like to help! Just follow (this link) to book on my calendar or feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the steps to a simple mindfulness practice. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.  Most people that know me understand my love of heart-shaped things. I like to keep the kinds of hearts you see in the image below all over my house, out in plain site. Why?
Because after years of healing and much effort, I realized that life is best lived with your heart out in the open, exposed and not hidden away. Keeping these hearts around me serve as a constant reminder to keep mine out as well and not fall back into habits of guarding it from the people I love out of fear. I don't have to fear love anymore. I'm in charge of heart and I get to protect it. No longer will I allow people to hurt it. And because I know that I am capable of keeping it safe, I have no more fear on giving it to as many people as I want. Friends, family, people I just met yesterday. They all get to see the real me at all times and feel my heart because I keep it at the forefront of my being. I let my heart lead. Because the heart wants to be used, wants to keep growing, it wants to be loved and love in return. So let it. ******** Are you sharing your heart? I know it feels scary at first. I would like to help! Just follow (this link) to book on my calendar or feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the steps to start to live from your heart. I believe in you! Reserve your spot NOW! Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.  Let this truth bring you some peace today, my friends.
On your healing journey, you will have easy days, when the loving words come easily, when you look in the mirror and love what you see, when you feel the strength to silence your inner critic, when you feel powerful, loving, and calm enough to comfort your inner child and put him/her at ease. But, as life goes, there will be bad days. There might be bad weeks. Life, that happens all around you, doesn't grow in straight lines and neither will you. But that doesn't mean you should stop moving forward, that doesn't mean you should give up. Because it is after those hardest of days, those hardest of times, that you will hear the message you needed to, clearer and louder than ever, that you will have conquered something powerful which makes you MORE powerful than it, and you will learn each and every time, that you. are. still. here. You made it. You did it. And you can keep going. Learn to love the ups and downs of your journey, my friends, accept the fact that it will keep surprising you. And don't feel ashamed if you are in your "down" period, if you feel like you are taking two steps back. Look around you, because everyone else is taking the same uneven, undecided, and unsure journey. ******** Feeling stuck on the healing journey? Don’t worry. Just follow (this link) to book on my calendar or feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you reclaim your power and move forward again. You go this! Reserve your spot NOW! Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.  A blog post by a very special guest, in honor of National Child Abuse Prevention Month!
One of the worst misconceptions of child sexual abuse stems from a line that we all tell ourselves about one issue or another: “It will never happen to me. It will never happen in my own family.” Many believe that since the issue of child sexual abuse isn’t talked about as much as political, religious, or international issues that it isn’t as prevalent. The truth is precisely the opposite. According to Darkness to Light, an organization dedicated to the prevention of child sexual abuse, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will experience sexual abuse before they turn 18. That means in a kindergarten class of 20 children, at least four are likely to be sexually abused before they graduate from high school. (www.stopitnow.org) If that seems scary to you, it gets worse. A majority of these events are occurring in our friend’s homes and even our own. As reported by Darkness to Light, 30 to 40% of children are abused by family members. And as many as 60% are abused by people the family trusts. Add all that up and you see that only about 10% of abusers are strangers. Do you have goose bumps yet? So why isn’t this more common knowledge? The answer: It’s because of lines we tell ourselves like the one stated above. “I’m too smart to let it happen to me or my family.” These are lines we tell ourselves about rape, about drunk driving, about drug use, and yes, even about child sexual abuse. Child sexual abuse is not only closer to home than we think, it can take place IN our homes, sometimes under our very noses. So how do we keep child sexual abuse out of our homes, out of our own families, and out of our communities altogether? We ALL need to learn about CSA prevention. It isn’t enough to stop what is currently going on, we have to prevent it from happening in the first place. And when it comes to child sexual abuse, many turn their heads and look the other way. Many people don’t know anything about child sexual abuse, especially young adults. Being a young adult myself, I can tell you that ignorance amongst people my age is scary. And it needs to change. At this point, you may be thinking, who is this person to be telling me that I am not seeing reality or making bold claims that the world needs to change? I have never been a victim of child sexual abuse. But I am the 24 year old daughter of someone who was. And through my mother’s healing, prevention work, and being raised to be aware of this issue, I know more on the subject than most adults and parents do. Because of my mother, I can see the signs of abuse in the young adults I come in contact with in my daily life. I look out for the signs in my own friends. I can spot grooming signs a mile away. I am very good at not getting myself into bad situations, especially with men in unfamiliar places. I once came in contact with the uncle of a friend who raised all of my red flags and when I approached my friend about it, I was told that I was paranoid. I get this a lot. Because it is such a hush-hush topic, and not many 20+ year olds know about the issue as much as I do, I am often met with rolling eyes and responses about being too paranoid or too quick to judge. But it is exactly this response that lets so many get away with abusing others. In our society, especially with women, it is considered impolite to suggest that a person is creepy or to ask them to not be around our children. It is impolite for a woman to say that she doesn’t feel comfortable with a man and often is told by her “girlfriends” that she is crazy and being unreasonable (Yes, this happened to me as well.) But I think we can agree that being “impolite” is worth saving yourself or your children from abuse of any kind. No one should ever be shamed for standing up for themselves or for trusting their gut. I am here to tell you, the reader, that knowledge of this issue, all the facts and statistics that I know, have helped me to live a more aware and safer life. I see the world for what it truly is. Life is beautiful and filled with love and happiness and good people. But I am also aware of the bad that comes with humanity and because of my mother, I know how to keep that bad out of my life and out of the lives of any future children I may have. I hope that I persuaded you in some way, to look around you and maybe look inside your own family. Prevention is all about opening your eyes to the truth. Child sexual abuse can happen anywhere, to anyone. You know that cheesy Amazing Grace song, “I once was blind, but now I see?” It may be cliché, but it’s the truth. You can choose to be blind to the reality of this issue, or choose to open your eyes and see the truth. The choice is up to you. By Elisa Brooks ******** Ready to get educated about Child Sexual Abuse and how to keep kids safe? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. Just follow (this link) to Darkness to Light. Also feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the information you need to be comfortable with educating your kids, and the adults in your community! Reserve your spot NOW! Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.  You are not powerless. You might think you are, but I promise you, you’re not. In fact, you are actually quite powerful.
Yes, the person who abused you was probably someone you knew and trusted. But that doesn’t make the abuse your fault. You are not what happened to you. You are the same wonderful, awesome, powerful person you were before the abuse. And you always have been. But if that’s the truth (and it is), then why have you always felt powerless? Because child sexual abuse is one of those topics our society prefers not to talk about. And not talking about it IS the problem. It makes CSA much worse for everyone. The victims feel powerless because they don’t know what to do about the horrible thing that happened to them. The safe adults around them could have helped. But they didn’t, because they never received CSA prevention education. When no one talks about CSA, everyone loses. During my keynote speech last April at ABC House, a children’s advocacy center in Oregon, I said I only began to live a powerful life when I discovered how powerful it felt to tell my story. This is the kind of information children, parents, and CSA survivors in our communities are missing. When no one talks about CSA, no one learns how to prevent or heal from it and survivors don't get to take their power back by stepping forward with their truth. Change has to start with us. Survivors are the ones who must begin the dialogue about CSA and how to prevent it. Because no one else is going to do it. I was interviewed by Matt at “Surviving My Past” in honor of National Child Abuse Prevention Month. In this interview, we discussed Darkness to Light, the five steps to protecting kids, and the importance of talking about CSA. I think you will really enjoy listening to it and come away having learned a lot. Check it out! It’s time to reclaim your power, my friends. And you do that by telling your story. When you do, the kids, parents, and CSA survivors in your community will thank you for it. They need what you have to offer. They need to see your power. They need to know they have the power to prevent CSA or to heal from it. They need you and your story. Are you ready to reclaim your power? ******** Ready to reclaim your power? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. Just follow (this link) to book on my calendar or feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you reclaim your power and start your healing journey. Reserve your spot NOW! Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.  Let me ask you a question.
How would you react if you discovered a trusted relative was sexually abusing a child in your family? Or maybe the abuser is a highly respected, influential person in an organization you support. Would you be outraged? Or would you worry about what people think about your family or that organization? Unfortunately, when most people have the opportunity to protect a child’s wellbeing in a sexually abusive situation, they choose to preserve the reputation of the family or organization rather than coming to the aid of the child. They choose to do nothing. I’ve been teaching about Child Sexual Abuse Prevention for over a decade, and I’ve seen this response too often. Just look at the media. The Penn State, Catholic Church, Larry Nasser along with the Olympic Committee, MeToo movement etc. All of these incidents are perfect examples. This is happening all around us. Sad, but true. And I know what you’re thinking now, that you would be the exception, right? That you’d react differently by speaking up for the child. But what you don’t realize is you can’t do that effectively until you’ve been educated about child sexual abuse. You’d need to know the facts, as well as the warning signs and how to prevent CSA from happening in the first place. You may think you already know enough. But you don’t. Unless you’ve attended a CSA seminar or presentation, you don’t have the skills necessary to help a child in a sexually abusive situation. Concerned adults need to be educated about CSA. It’s important to learn how offenders groom parents before they go after their kids. That’s the only way you’ll know how to act in the best interests of the child. You may never actually see someone abuse a child but I can guarantee you may run into a situation where there is something going on that makes you feel uncomfortable. Without the proper training, you may not feel confident enough to speak up, ask questions, talk to other adult to get the support you need to intervene. Fortunately, there are caring people like you, who recognize the need for education and preparation. You realize it’s more important to protect the child than the reputation of the family or organization. When you learn how often CSA occurs, you’ll create a safety plan to protect your kids as well. Once people are educated about CSA and how it fuels a toxic cycle of abuse generation after generation, they’ll understand there aren’t several choices in this kind of situation. There’s only one. And doing nothing is no longer the answer. ******** Ready to get educated about Child Sexual Abuse and how to keep kids safe? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. Just follow (this link) to Darkness to Light. Also feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the information you need to be comfortable with educating your kids, and the adults in your community! Reserve your spot NOW! Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.  In honor of April, which is Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month, and to answer a common question, I decided I'd share this information that has appeared in numerous blog posts of mine. And that question is, "How do I talk to my kids about sexual abuse?" As a survivor, I had to figure out the best way to teach them in order to keep them safe. But I had to teach them differently then I would adults.
I began my healing journey years ago for my kids, not for myself. They didn’t need to be burdened with the emotional pain from my abusive past. They deserved to have a happy childhood and grow up to be confident, empowered adults. My girls were little then, so I began by reading picture books to them about the body, what it looks like inside and out, and how it functions. I would add to that information by telling them no one is allowed to touch them beneath their bathing suits. It was only okay if I was with them or if we were at the doctor’s office. When they were old enough for sleepovers with friends, they knew they didn’t have my permission until I was given the chance to get to know the parents first. I needed important information from those parents including:
To that last point, I would actually tell the adults that they could not say no to my child if she wanted to use their phone to call home and that my girls did not need to explain why! I would say this in front of my child and the adult, so everyone was on the same page. When my girls were teens, they knew they didn’t have my permission to hang out with their friends until they could tell me who they would be with, when they would be home, and if any adults would be present. If they couldn’t answer some of those questions, it made them wonder whether or not this would be a safe situation. In that case, they usually decided to pass on that particular activity. My girls, and then eventually my son, all came to learn that politeness was NEVER a priority over safety. If they feel uncomfortable at all, even if they can't explain it, I have always given them permission to speak up, walk away, and a safe space to tell me and their father so that the situation can be prevented from happening again. Today, there is nothing my kids and I can't talk about. My eldest daughter even went on to write an blog post for me a few years ago, explaining why she is so appreciative of being raised with the truth of CSA, however sad or scary that facts may be. And the facts are that if 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before they turn 18, we have a lot of work to do as parents and adults to save future children from going through what happened to us or to loved ones. You can read her blog here: https://www.educate4change.com/blog1/child-sexual-abuse-right-under-our-noses Even though it might make you uncomfortable to talk about, educating your children could literally save them from abuse, even when they are adults. Your child's safety is more important than the shyness or discomfort you may feel around the topic of sex, abuse, and the body. Trust me, it was worth it every time my child came to me with questions, concerns, or fear, because that kept them from taking a step towards the danger, instead of turning around and choosing safety. ******** Ready to educate your kids? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the information you need to be comfortable with educating your kids, no matter how old they are! Reserve your spot NOW! Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.  I wrote this blog post a few months ago and quite a few people responded to it, thanking me for sharing these steps. I am glad I did because I struggled with understanding why I was stuck for a long time. This is a question I asked myself for a long time. Why was I stuck, why did I always fall back to my old destructive ways?
So many people could diagnose me. So many people could tell me what was wrong with me. But few could actually help me heal. It got to be very frustrating and I was discouraged. Now I know why. Because my healing wasn’t the task of these other people. It was my job. I had to take all the information I had gathered about recovering from child abuse and trauma and move that knowledge from my head to my heart. In other words, I had to do the tough, messy work of applying it to my own life. But what I was still searching for, even after I gathered the steps, was finding someone to somehow model these steps for me. To engage with me in a way that demonstrated these steps in action. Here are the seven steps child abuse and trauma survivors need to take in order to heal. If you want to start to feel a shift in your healing, start to apply them every day.
Just the act of implementing these seven steps is a major move forward on your healing journey. And even better is joining a group of people that are also making the shift, that are focusing and intending on daily action to heal their lives, to motivate you. Stick with it, stay connected to survivors that are doing the same thing, and you’ll experience a positive shift sooner than you think. Why? Because healing is hard. Survivors doubt they can heal, wondering if they are worth it. We feel alone with these hard feelings, as if no one can understand. But you are not alone. Because these steps are more than a decision, it is a willingness and a commitment. A commitment to yourself that requires a lifestyle change, a change in your thoughts, feelings, and habits. We can not do that without constant support and accountability. And that’s how you heal. Finally! And you will have a whole community of people to celebrate you, support you, and encourage you along the way. I would not suggest this support if I did not offer it. If you are ready to dig deep and heal this year and looking for the right support for you, please send me a note and book a free 30 min. session with me. (Limited time offer. Offer ends 4/6/18) Just follow (this link) I offer a few options and groups for you to choose from. Don't struggle alone. You are worthy of support and healing. I believe in you! ******** Ready to move forward? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you get moving forward. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.  I struggled with self-care for a long time. It wasn’t an easy task for me. Back then, my self-care mostly consisted of numbing the pain. I was in too much pain and too ashamed of what had happened to me. It hurt too much to think about it. In the process, I had completely disconnected from myself and my needs.
What helped was when I learned about the long term impact of trauma or rather the long term impact of toxic stress on my body. I could easily see how the abuse I suffered made me not want to talk about the past, feel my feelings, or want to take care of my body. But what was invisible to me and my awareness was how the toxic stress from my childhood was still fueling the high level of cortisol in my body. The high levels of stress hormones in the body can create and contribute to long term problems with our heart and for our blood vessels. This information became a game changer for me. I had to start to practice good self-care to help my body counter the years of living with toxic levels of stress in my body. My body was my vehicle to living a good life. I needed a healthy body if I was going to heal and restore, I was not sure how but I knew I wanted to experience feeling good about myself after all the healing. Adding self-care to my life was difficult because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted and needed. I was really hard on myself about this, too. It was embarrassing. I was a grown woman but I didn’t know how to care for myself in a loving way. However, I was very skilled at taking care of family and friends. I knew what they needed and I would go out of my way to make sure those needs were met. I always put them first, often at the expense of my own self-care. Does this sound like you? If so, here’s how to stop neglecting yourself. Self-care begins with awareness. Pay attention to what works, what doesn’t work, and what needs to be tweaked in your life. The best way to do this is to make a list:
Seems like a tall order, doesn’t it? It did to me at first. With a busy work life and a family of five, I had no time in my day for taking care of “me.” But I was determined to do this, so I kept trying. I was especially motivated to not let the past take any more from my present life. It is my life now. My future that I was investing in. I knew it was my responsibility now to choose things that were good for me. Then an amazing thing happened. I began to feel better about myself. I was shocked to discover self-care was helping me heal. Slowly, I started to treat myself with the respect and love I deserved. And it felt good. Really good. After a few ups and downs with my self-care, I learned what worked for me. I gave myself 12 months, a whole year to implement a new healthy habit. It has taken a few years but now I do some form of exercise 5 time per week. I drink plenty of water every day. I keep track of my sleep and I get 3 healthy meals every single day. My self-care journey was just as challenging as my emotional and mental health journey but I have to say it was the most rewarding. I know I have helped reverse some of the long term health affects my trauma caused and I get to feel good in my body and feel good about taking care of it. You can do this, too. Make today the day you take those first steps toward your own self-care. It won’t feel comfortable at first, but keep trying. You’ll be glad you did! ******** Ready to tackle self care? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you understand the impact, and how to start your healing journey. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group. |
Archives
June 2019
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed