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Using the Power of Your Breath to Stay in the Present

2/21/2018

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The power of your breath is that it is always in the moment. 

Self awareness is key to starting a successful trauma healing journey. It can feel a bit overwhelming in the beginning, as you are literally choosing to counter your biology in choosing discomfort, learning how to navigate stepping outside your comfort zone and taking a hard look at your helpful but toxic coping strategies. 

I do a lot of trauma education with my clients. I know it provided me with the comfort to know that there was nothing wrong with me in how I had responded to and lived through my trauma. In fact, I was in many ways a textbook example of a child that grew up in a household with domestic violence, and was being abused emotionally, physically, and sexually. The outcome was that I lived with toxic stress as a child and as an adult, that toxic stress was still living inside of me as if it was still happening and all my systems were on high alert, all the time!

As I started to understand the impact of trauma and learning that I was not alone, I slowly became aware of how big a part my biology played in how I would be able to heal from the past. It became easier and easier and I was open to learning new things, actually willing to explore anything if it helped me find peace in my mental, emotional, and physical state and better able to connect with people. 

Learning about the power of my breath was an important piece of the puzzle. As survivors of trauma, we hardly notice our breath (or our shallow breathing), we hardly notice our tight sholders and the weight on our hearts or the knot in the pit of our stomach. It has been such a big part of your life, you assume it is what all people feel and experience. 

When I started to get into meditation about 20 years ago, I was fascinated by how the simple act of taking a deep breath could shift how I felt and it gave me the space to think about how I wanted to respond to my thoughts. I did practice meditation and some form of breathwork of and on during my healing journey, but it was not until a few of years ago that meditation becaume a regular self care practice and then again when I received my TRE certification. I reconnected with the power of my breath, the awareness it brings to your body, inside and out, and the power it has to shift from a place of tension to relexation, one breath at the time. 

Our breath is one of the systems of our body that can override our subconscious automatic systems. We only have to become aware and start to take the breaths we need to make the shift from how we usually feel to how we want to choose to feel now. 

If you are new to mindfulness or meditation, here are some simple steps for you to try:

1. Find a comfortable seat, keeping your eyes open or closed.
2. Begin by taking 3 full slow deep breaths, inhale and exhale fully.
3. Allow your breath to come back to normal.
4. To start, just sit and notice your breath coming in and going out. What do you notice?
5. Any thoughts that come to mind, just notice them and let them go.
6. The more you practice, start to notice how your body responds to the inhale and the exhale. Your lungs, the warmth of the breath, and the thoughts that might be distracting. 
7. No need to control or judge. You can't do this wrong. Just accept and allow. And give yourself this moment of being aware of your breath, being fully in the present moment with yourself. 
8. As you slowly come back from this breathing meditaion, just take a minute to scan your body and notice how you feel before you head out to your day.
9. In the beginning, it might be helpful to set an alarm and just start with 1 minute or 5 if you can and start to notice over time as you start to feel more comfortable sitting for longer periods of time.  

The long term benefits of mindful breathing include stress relief, better control over difficult emotions, increased positive thinking, and more self awareness, just to name a few. What is powerful about starting a simple breath meditation is that you can do it anywhere, it can always help you to come back to the present moment, where we want to be for connecting with other people. So much of our worry or anxiety about life is about the future or rumination about the past that we can't change. Start with just one minute a few times per week and notice how you feel. 

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Ready to start reconnecting with your body through mindfulness, meditation or TRE? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group. 
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Accepting and Asking for Love and Affirmation in Order to Heal

2/12/2018

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One of the hardest parts about being a survivor is being able to believe people when they tell you good things about yourself, something you've done or created. The abuse took away our ability to believe in ourselves, it taught us that we must be bad because only bad people are abused. We must have deserved it. I remember thinking to myself when people would say nice things to me, "If they only new the truth about me" or "Yeah right, if you knew my secret, you would take it all back.”

So when we get older, that little voice in our head stays with us, criticizing everything we say or do, not allowing our true voice to say the things we want to say, out of shame and fear, and pushing away any positivity that people might bring our way.

"Dare to believe," my friends. It isn't easy but every time you are given loving words of affirmation, instead of brushing them away, retaliating with disbelief, or reacting with embarrassment, simply thank the person for their words and store them away for later.

You will tell that little voice in your head that nothing bad happens when you stop doubting and criticizing yourself and that you, the adult, are in charge of how you feel about yourself now. And remember those kind words that were said, think of them often, say them out loud to yourself, and soon you'll have the strength to hear more and love it when you hear them. The good news is that I did learn to receive and accept the kind words and like most things on the healing journey, I had to be intentional and mindful of how I wanted to respond and actually practice. And it worked! 


And when it feels good enough, don't be afraid to go to those you love and ASK for words of affirmation if you need it. Going to my friends and my husband for this greatly helped me with releasing shame and feeling so bad about myself. You can ask to be told you are loved, that you are special, that you are meaningful. The right people will have no problem saying it to you as many times as you need to hear it.

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Ready to start to work on receiving kind words? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.


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Creating a Deeper Connection With Yourself By Facing Your Feelings

2/5/2018

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Do you hide behind perfectionism or by micromanaging everything and everyone?  

I understand because I used to do that too. When I started my healing journey and started to understand how my shame and low self esteem kept me running in circles trying to hide all the ways I felt imperfect, I was flooded by sadness. 


For most of my life, I had spent so much energy keeping the feelings at bay by working myself into the ground trying to be perfect, or just good enough it seemed. This negative energy kept feeding on itself, that no matter how hard I worked and how much better I tried to perform, it never felt good enough.
 

This fear of being found out can also get in the way of us having close meaningful relationships. You'll waste so much time and energy in relationships always performing a task, trying to be good enough/helpful enough, or hoping for some shred of validation from others that your life looks okay.

This is truly a vicious cycle that feeds your anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, and distrust towards yourself and others, that in turn you try to protect yourself from, by blaming, judging, care-taking, withdrawing, or explaining. Then in turn, this protective behavior creates problems in your relationships, makes you feel exhausted and you're stuck, not knowing how to make a change or to stop this cycle. 


So how do you stop this cycle?  

The first step is to becoming aware if it. After that, there are some steps you can take:

1. Whenever you feel anything other than peace or joy in your body, get curious. 

2. Put your hand on your heart and take a few deep breaths to locate the feeling.

3. Ask this feeling what it is you're doing/saying to yourself that makes you feel this way.

4. Listen to your body. Your body is incredibly wise and is on your side. 

5. Validate your body/feelings. "I hear you, I see you, I feel you. Thank you for telling me the truth."

6. Take loving action. Give yourself the grace of time to work on this tension/feeling/fear in your body. Commit to checking in regularly. 

These simple steps can make such a big difference over time. You are demonstrating value and your worth by starting to listen to your body and creating a deeper connection with yourself through self-compassion.  

The truth is no one can define your worth but you. The truth is you are inherently valuable and worthy of love. You are a good, compassionate human being capable of caring, empathy, and joy. 

When we start to recognize and embrace this simple truth, we let go of needing other's approval because in your heart of hearts you know who you are, what you are, how you serve, and you know why!

                                                                           ********

Ready to start to feel your feelings? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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Releasing Your Authentic Self

12/27/2017

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Are You a Survivor
of Child Abuse or Trauma?
If so, this Book
was Written for YOU!

Releasing Your Authentic Self

A Daily Guide to Help
Child Abuse and Trauma Survivors
Rediscover Themselves

by Svava Brooks

$14.95 Paperback (live Amazon link)
$9.95 Kindle ebook (live Amazon link)

(381 pages)


Child abuse teaches you to disconnect from your “authentic self.”  It’s the only way to survive the trauma of abuse.  Because of that, adult survivors need to dig deep to reconnect with who they truly are, because their real identity has been hidden for decades.  

And that’s why I wrote Releasing Your Authentic Self.  I wanted to give you a very special tool to help you do just that!

In this life-changing book for child abuse and trauma survivors, you’ll receive a tiny piece of your “truth” every day for 365 days.  Each truth is followed by two questions, which encourage you to dig deep enough to rediscover your beautiful, authentic self.  

Feel free to write your answers to these questions directly in the book like a workbook.  I’ve left plenty of room after each question for you to do that.

These questions were created to bypass the resistance of your conscious mind and reveal your toxic core issues.  Every time you eliminate a core issue, you’re one step closer to releasing your authentic self.  

If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, Releasing Your Authentic Self is the tool you’ve been searching for.  Nothing is more exciting than rediscovering that incredible, unique, awesomely wonderful person you were destined to be.  Much love to you on this amazing journey!


What Are Readers Saying About Books by Svava Brooks?

“Journey to the Heart is a well-written, supportive, and gentle work to help anyone with trauma in their past learn how to live a thriving life in the present.” (E.K.)

“I am grateful for Journey to the Heart and its author, Svava Brooks.  This book is filled with so much compassion and understanding that only another trauma survivor is able to put into words.   Bought a copy for myself and gave a copy as a gift to my therapist to share with her other clients.  I highly recommend this book.” (A.)

“This woman totally gets it.  Bottom line, this author will hold your hand as you work through the dark places, and you will KNOW that those feelings cannot hurt you now, so you are free to develop into the person who has been struggling to show itself!” (D.)


Isn’t it time you began living your life
as the happy, healthy person
you were always meant to be?

Order this Life-Changing Book TODAY!


Releasing Your Authentic Self

A Daily Guide to Help
Child Abuse and Trauma Survivors
Rediscover Themselves

by Svava Brooks

$14.95 Paperback (live Amazon link)
$9.95 Kindle ebook (live Amazon link)


********
Are you a survivor of abuse or trauma?  Are you struggling with your healing journey?  I can help!  If you are ready to start "Thriving" I have just the support for you.  If you are ready to do the deep, hard work of healing and create lasting change, succeed by joining a community of people just like you working through the RYAS book, one day at a time. You are worth it! Follow this link to learn more

Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 


Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Heal From Abuse by Validating Your Hurt Inner Child

12/18/2017

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Do you get hurt a lot in life? Do people just seem to let you down constantly or it feels like they are intentionally hurting you? Does it feel like a reoccurring theme in your life?  It used to be for me too. 


The reason why you, as an adult, always feel hurt by others is not necessarily because those other adults actually are hurting you. It is because your inner child is hurting and  is seeking that validation all the time, in good ways and bad. The part of you that needs your validation is your hurt and your hurt is being fed by your inner child.


You were just a child and might have even depended on the person that hurt you. This betrayal sets you up for expecting the worst from those that are closest to you. And therefore we often choose never to risk letting anyone in, in the first place... since you believe it is just a matter of time before the betray you.

I did not find a way to break my silence and get the help I needed until I was in my twenties. I had struggled with isolation and depression because it felt very risky to open up to people, to let them in. I was very social but I did not know how to connect on a deep, meaningful level. I didn't understand it then, but what I was hiding was my shame. When we feel that we are bad or shameful, we live our life on guard, always defensive and expecting the worst. 
 
The hard part is for us to become aware of how present this core but false belief is in your life. I would like to invite you to consider that deep inside there is a hurt little child that is asking for your help, that needs your help.  And I remember in the beginning, the idea of connecting with my little girl was scary. The feelings and the hurt were big and felt too big for me to handle at first. The sadness, the anger, the loneliness, feeling so unlovable. Yikes, I can still remember how hard those feelings felt.  


Here is the good news. The feelings are big but not as big as you think. They only feel big because that inner child is little, but you are not, not anymore.

But this inner child is the source of most of your pain, anxiety, and depression. It is the part of you that desperately needs you to learn to know and feel your feelings in a healthy way and let that sad little child feel the feelings while you lovingly listen, seeing and feeling everything he/she needs to let go of the hurt. 

When I learned to hold, validate, and love my little girl, it was as if someone had put me into a different world. It did take time but slowly it felt like people were more loving towards me and I had an easier time setting boundaries and saying no. When I connected with this precious part of myself, I wanted to protect her, love her, stay healthy for her, and help her express the truth that she had been denied for so long. 


So whether this is your first visit to my blog or the twentieth, I hope this empowers you to dig deeper and start to connect with your wounded little self. That is  the part of you that holds your light and all of your many the gifts to the world. It is worth exploring what gifts he/she can bring to your life if you let him/her.

I would love to hear how you are doing with your emotions and what feeling you find the hardest to express. If you are not sure how to do that or where to start, I am doing a webinar this week that I know will help you get started on learning about inner child work and learning how to love yourself after abuse.

Here is the link to register for the webinar.

                                                                          ********

Want to be learn more about your inner child or how to feel your feelings in a safe way? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Connecting to Your Body By Practicing Mindfulness

11/27/2017

2 Comments

 
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The practice of mindfulness, such as meditation, can be a challenge for trauma survivors.   Trauma disconnects you from your body in the moment to survive a perceived threat. Most survivors do not get the support they need to heal and process the abuse they suffered, which leads to chronic inner tension and toxic negative believes that feed unhealthy behaviors and feelings about themselves. We think we are bad, we feel bad, and believe the abuse was our fault. 

The thought of reconnecting with their bodies, where all the bad lives, feels very overwhelming in the beginning. Active mindfulness, of the body and mind, is a very helpful practice because it teaches us to become aware of body sensations, thoughts, and emotions and to relate to them with an open, nonjudgmental attitude. 

I remember feeling overwhelmed when I began to connect to the place where all the bad was hiding. The shame that lived inside my body was toxic. I had mastered denial about my past and was hiding behind the "little miss perfect" act, and working three jobs as a young woman. I have memories waking up in the middle of the night and feeling the terror and worry creep into my mind, my body slowly tensing up until I disconnected from it completely, not thinking about or feeling any of it. But eventually I could not pretend any longer. I was struggling with growing depression and physical pain that showed up in regular painful migraines and stomach cramps. 

Then I started my healing journey.  I was fortunate that I found a support group early on in my healing. Within this group, I learned about the impact of my past and how important it was to feel my feelings. I learned from watching other participants. I slowly connected to my feelings about what had been done to me. It took time and eventually, mindfulness and meditation became important tools that I utilized on my journey, for over 20 years. Now it is a part of my daily self-care practice. 

If you are new to mindfulness, it is defined as “the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment” (Kabat-Zinn, 2003 p. 145).

Research has consistently shown that mindfulness is an important predictor of well-being. People that meditate are more positive, feel more independent, and have higher self esteem and vitality. 

The other wonderful thing about mindfulness, is that it is already part of what being human is, a tool available to all humans. Anyone can practice mindfulness and you don't need anything outside of yourself to do it, even though it is helpful to follow a guide in the beginning in form of a book, course, or a coach. 

For some, mindfulness is easier to practice than meditation because you don't have to sit in silence in order to practice mindfulness. There are a range of different practices that I want to share with you in a future blog post but I also wanted to let you know that I am working on a 8 week mindfulness course that I will be offering in the new year. It will include a weekly webinar, a daily journal, and self guided mindfulness and meditation practices. This program is based on positive psychology and I know many of my clients will benefit from it.  

You can benefit from it as well. I lead my clients through body awareness exercises that help trauma survivors to learn to trust themselves and their bodies and gives them a practice that helps with self regulation and resilience during the healing journey. 
​

If you are interested in learning more about mindfulness, my upcoming group program, or have a question, please let me know. You can reply or comment below.

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Do you struggle with body awareness? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How Can TRE® Help You?

10/30/2017

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Being in Iceland this month, teaching TRE®, has been such a rewarding experience.  What a blessing to be able to witness the immediate benefits of TRE® on the two groups I’m leading!

If you’re a survivor of child abuse or trauma, there are many immediate and long-term benefits to TRE®, like:

  • Less Worry & Anxiety
  • Reduces Symptoms of PTSD
  • More Energy & Endurance
  • Improved Marital Relationships
  • Less Workplace Stress
  • Better Sleep
  • Less Relationship Conflict
  • Increased Flexibility
  • Greater Emotional Resiliency
  • Decreases Symptoms of Vicarious Trauma
  • Healing of Old Injuries
  • Lessens the Anxiety of a Serious Illness
  • Relief from Chronic Medical Conditions

But there are also long-term benefits for those who aren’t survivors of abuse or trauma.  One of those benefits is a reduction in muscle and back pain.

Unfortunately, I know this type of chronic pain well.  I was an athlete in high school and sustained a painful neck injury, which continues to plague me.  I was delighted to discover the shaking of my spine during a TRE® session has increased the flexibility of the muscles in my neck and shoulders.  It does this by stimulating the flow of blood to the muscles surrounding the bones in my neck.  Wow!  

Several of the people in my TRE® groups in Iceland are athletes or those who work out regularly.  They’re noticing the tremors created by TRE® have improved the flexibility of those extra tight muscles in the legs and pelvis, like the psoas muscles (hip flexors) and hamstrings.

All humans are born with the ability to shake out stress and tension.  But this isn’t something we’re taught in our modern society.  Instead, the body’s natural shaking (healing response) to trauma is seen as a weakness in our culture.  We learn from an early age to suppress it.

The biology of the human body contains all the wisdom and knowledge it needs to heal itself.  TRE® restores this natural healing ability by helping your body remember how to eliminate trauma naturally.  How cool is that?  

Is TRE® a healing tool you’d like to try?  If so, contact me for more information.  I’m always happy to help!
                                                        ********

Are you struggling with chronic pain or stubborn healing issues, and you’d like to try TRE®?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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The Healing Effect of TRE® on Your Relationships

10/23/2017

2 Comments

 
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Did you know connecting with your body makes it easier to connect with other people?  It’s true.  Because of that, one of the side effects of TRE® is the healing effect it has on your relationships.

I’m in Iceland this month, leading two groups of ten people through the TRE® process for three weeks.  Teaching TRE® is one of my favorite things to do.  I love the way it helps my students connect with the wisdom of the body.

When most people come to a TRE® workshop for the first time, they tend to be a little nervous.  I can relate.  I felt the same way when I was introduced to TRE® three years ago.  Some come after watching a few videos and googling articles about TRE® online.  But most attend because they believe TRE® will help them heal.  And it will!

Being connected to the body is a new experience for child abuse survivors like us.  We had to disconnect as children in order to survive our traumatic past.  Since connecting is not a skill we were taught, we never knew we needed to reconnect as adults.  This is one of the main reasons why our relationships tend to be a mess.  If you’re not connected to your body, it’s impossible to connect with others in a meaningful way.

It’s important for all survivors to proceed slowly when they practice TRE®.  Baby steps are essential.  It takes time to learn self-regulation when working with your body, which is another skill we were never taught as children.

We all know recovery from abuse is not a quick fix.  TRE® is no different.  Yes, you’ll experience immediate relief during your first few TRE® sessions.  But deep healing from the chronic trauma of child abuse takes time.  Be patient with yourself and your progress.  Be consistent, stick with it, and healing will come.

If TRE® sounds like a healing tool you’d like to experience, send me a message.  I work with clients worldwide through private, online, TRE® sessions.  I’m always happy to answer your questions or schedule an online TRE® session with you.  Just ask!

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Are you curious about TRE®, and you’d like to know more about how this self-help tool can heal your body and relationships?  If so, just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Do You Know How to Love Yourself?

10/15/2017

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That’s a good question, isn’t it?  Many of my clients struggle with this concept.  They honestly don’t know how to love themselves, or what it feels like.

I understand completely.  I had the same problem for decades.  I didn’t know how to love myself either.  But now I do, and teaching my clients this important skill is one of the things I love most about my work.

Why is self-love so confusing for child abuse survivors?  Loving yourself is a skill every child is born with.  So it should be easy, right?

Not for us.  Our survival as children depended upon our parents or caregivers.  Because we weren’t adults, we couldn’t walk away from this abusive relationship.  Instead, in order to maintain it, someone had to be the bad guy.  It couldn’t be our caregivers, so it had to be us.  

Don’t worry if this is the story you created to survive the abuse.  It’s a normal coping mechanism.  Almost all children in abusive homes create this story.

However, this toxic story is what shaped your view of yourself and the world.  If we think we’re bad, then all we see is bad, and all we feel is bad.  This is our basic core belief.  

How do you change that?  The solution is simpler than you think.  You just focus on the good every day.

Here are some statements of truth to help you change your focus.  I’ve listed several suggestions in parenthesis.

  1. I am grateful for ______ (my health, my willingness to heal, my children, my pets, etc.).
  2. I am good at ______ (surviving, helping others, listening, folding laundry, my job, etc.).
  3. What makes me feel good is ______ (a hot bath, reading, playing with my pet, etc.).
  4. I know I am loved by ______ (my children, my pets, my partner, my adult self, etc.)

Practice these statements of truth every day.  Eventually, if you’re persistent with them, you’ll slowly begin to feel more positive about yourself and your life.  Why?  Because YOU are the creator of your life.  YOU are responsible for your happiness.  

Can you feel the freedom, peace, and power in that?  Wow, what a blessing!

                                                       ********

Is it so difficult for you to love yourself that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t do it?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Why Am I Afraid to Feel?

9/25/2017

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All survivors of child abuse and trauma are afraid to feel, accept, trust, and appreciate their uncomfortable or negative emotions.

Why are we like that?  

We fear and avoid these emotions, because we never had a positive role model to teach us how to express sadness, grief, overwhelm, anger, pain, and anxiety in a healthy way.  Instead, we got hurt when the adults in our life felt these challenging emotions.

However, developing the ability to feel, accept, trust, and appreciate all your emotions (the good, the bad, and the ugly) is a vital step on the healing journey.  It’s impossible to heal if you skip it.

So where do you start?

Feeling begins with awareness.  Sounds easy, doesn’t it?  Not for us.  The human brain is programmed to avoid pain at all costs.  Child abuse taught us to equate pain with emotion, especially uncomfortable emotions.  Because of that, we usually need support to help us identify those risky emotions.  We simply can’t “see” them in ourselves.

Willingness unlocks the door to awareness.  If you’re willing, answer these questions the next time you feel uncomfortable.  They’ll help you identify the emotion you’re feeling.

  • Where in my body am I feeling discomfort?
  • What is this feeling trying to tell me?
  • Can I name it?
  • Am I willing to take responsibility for it?
  • Was it triggered by something in the present?
  • Was it triggered by a memory from the past?
  • Is it true or false?
  • If it’s true, what can I learn from it?
  • If it’s false, what can I learn from it?
  • How can I express and release this emotion in a positive, healthy way?

The process of feeling, accepting, trusting, and appreciating your emotions helps you connect to your own wants and needs in a way you’ve never experienced before.  Best of all, it creates a sense of inner peace.

And inner peace is the primary goal of the healing journey.  We want to feel at peace in our bodies.  We want peace of mind.  Inner peace is something we’ve always craved.  

Well, this is how you achieve it!
                                                      ********
Are you afraid to feel?  When you feel uncomfortable, does your brain suddenly go numb?   If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

0 Comments
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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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