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Using the Power of Your Breath to Stay in the Present

2/21/2018

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The power of your breath is that it is always in the moment. 

Self awareness is key to starting a successful trauma healing journey. It can feel a bit overwhelming in the beginning, as you are literally choosing to counter your biology in choosing discomfort, learning how to navigate stepping outside your comfort zone and taking a hard look at your helpful but toxic coping strategies. 

I do a lot of trauma education with my clients. I know it provided me with the comfort to know that there was nothing wrong with me in how I had responded to and lived through my trauma. In fact, I was in many ways a textbook example of a child that grew up in a household with domestic violence, and was being abused emotionally, physically, and sexually. The outcome was that I lived with toxic stress as a child and as an adult, that toxic stress was still living inside of me as if it was still happening and all my systems were on high alert, all the time!

As I started to understand the impact of trauma and learning that I was not alone, I slowly became aware of how big a part my biology played in how I would be able to heal from the past. It became easier and easier and I was open to learning new things, actually willing to explore anything if it helped me find peace in my mental, emotional, and physical state and better able to connect with people. 

Learning about the power of my breath was an important piece of the puzzle. As survivors of trauma, we hardly notice our breath (or our shallow breathing), we hardly notice our tight sholders and the weight on our hearts or the knot in the pit of our stomach. It has been such a big part of your life, you assume it is what all people feel and experience. 

When I started to get into meditation about 20 years ago, I was fascinated by how the simple act of taking a deep breath could shift how I felt and it gave me the space to think about how I wanted to respond to my thoughts. I did practice meditation and some form of breathwork of and on during my healing journey, but it was not until a few of years ago that meditation becaume a regular self care practice and then again when I received my TRE certification. I reconnected with the power of my breath, the awareness it brings to your body, inside and out, and the power it has to shift from a place of tension to relexation, one breath at the time. 

Our breath is one of the systems of our body that can override our subconscious automatic systems. We only have to become aware and start to take the breaths we need to make the shift from how we usually feel to how we want to choose to feel now. 

If you are new to mindfulness or meditation, here are some simple steps for you to try:

1. Find a comfortable seat, keeping your eyes open or closed.
2. Begin by taking 3 full slow deep breaths, inhale and exhale fully.
3. Allow your breath to come back to normal.
4. To start, just sit and notice your breath coming in and going out. What do you notice?
5. Any thoughts that come to mind, just notice them and let them go.
6. The more you practice, start to notice how your body responds to the inhale and the exhale. Your lungs, the warmth of the breath, and the thoughts that might be distracting. 
7. No need to control or judge. You can't do this wrong. Just accept and allow. And give yourself this moment of being aware of your breath, being fully in the present moment with yourself. 
8. As you slowly come back from this breathing meditaion, just take a minute to scan your body and notice how you feel before you head out to your day.
9. In the beginning, it might be helpful to set an alarm and just start with 1 minute or 5 if you can and start to notice over time as you start to feel more comfortable sitting for longer periods of time.  

The long term benefits of mindful breathing include stress relief, better control over difficult emotions, increased positive thinking, and more self awareness, just to name a few. What is powerful about starting a simple breath meditation is that you can do it anywhere, it can always help you to come back to the present moment, where we want to be for connecting with other people. So much of our worry or anxiety about life is about the future or rumination about the past that we can't change. Start with just one minute a few times per week and notice how you feel. 

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Ready to start reconnecting with your body through mindfulness, meditation or TRE? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group. 
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Why Having Your Feelings is Necessary for Healing

1/22/2018

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There is always a theme in my work with my clients. Lately, we have been talking a bit about feeling our feelings. 

How do you feel about having your feelings? Does the thought of it make you feel uneasy, even scared? You are not alone. 

For most survivors of child abuse, the thought of expressing or allowing ourselves to feel what we have been hiding for so long is terrifying. Victims of abuse saw all kinds of violence and abuse take place around them and they knew instinctively that it was not safe to feel any of it, so victims shut it down and push it away.


It was not safe to talk about or to feel. Period. When children don't have the safety they need to talk about what happened, they turn it onto themselves. The repressed anger and fear turns into shame that feeds the part of you that feels responsible for what happened and that you caused it to happen.  

And though the repression might have kept you safe at the time, it is now the thing that is preventing your healing. In order to heal from our childhood, we have to learn to feel our feelings. There is just no way around it. Shame can hold survivors hostage for a long time. It is also the part of you that will come up to stop you when you feel ready to make some changes in your life, talk about what happened, and perhaps learn how to feel your feelings.

So where do we start? We start with learning where we have stored the feelings and the energy that we felt along with them. It is in our bodies. With a safe person, you learn to scan your body for where you are holding this feeling. Once you find it, you can gently let it know you are here to acknowledge the feeling, helping it to be seen and heard. It may be scared but it does want to be seen by you. Take as long as you need to sit with this feeling. Let the feeling and your body know that you are not going to rush it and no matter what the feeling is, it is not wrong or bad for feeling that.  

I invite my clients to put a hand on their hearts to support their body and their heart and feel the support for themselves. If that feels like too much, just talk gently in a soft voice to your feeling, let it feel your presence and kindness. Then as you feel it, intentionally let it go in a way that feels meaningful to you. Imagine driving it out through your feet into the earth. Or perhaps sending it away with the wind, giving it to God, writing it on piece of paper, and burning it in the fire.  


There are so many ways we can explore feeling and honoring our feelings. It is important. It is your truth. And the more you say your truth, the more it sets you free. 


                                                                           ********

Ready to tackle the impact of your trauma? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 


Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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Why Getting Educated about Trauma Was the Turning Point in My Healing Journey

1/8/2018

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Something that helped me immensely on the healing journey was to get educated about the manifestation of trauma and the impact that abuse has on survivors and their well being. It was especially helpful in the beginning of my journey, when I was still in denial about the abuse I suffered and how it impacted me. I thought because I was out of the house and away from the person that was abusive that I was fine. I did not understand that I had spent my life in fight/flight/freeze mode and that because of it, I had developed behaviors and habits that had served well to protect me from the fear and pain, but that those habits were no longer helpful but toxic to my body and soul. 

It was in support groups that I slowly identified what my coping behaviors were. That I was not my coping behaviors and that many of my core beliefs were false. When I realized this hard truth, I was devastated. If I am not who I think I am, who I have been for the last 20 years of my life? Who am I??

After letting the sadness and grief come up and working through it over a few years, I realized that no matter what I had been through, I was still here. And deep in my heart of hearts, I was committed to uncovering the truth and to learning what I had found to be a truth that I was starting to believe in: that every single one of us is here to learn about love. That we are all unique and important and have gifts to share with the world. It just took a few more years until I discovered what mine were. 

As I read countless books on trauma and attended many conference on trauma, I heard all about the impact the trauma had on my mental, emotional, physical, and social well being. It was hard at times and I would feel triggered and have flashbacks. But I kept going. 

It was when I heard about the ACE study (link to the ace study) that it all came together for me. I heard the scientific proof that the toxic stress of my childhood had set me up for a long list of physical, emotional, and mental health issues that would manifest in my life sooner than later. It was brutal. I can still remember holding onto the chair I was sitting in, to not run out of the room, but I am grateful today for the truth I heard then. 

It pushed me to really focus on my health and wellness and now, 10 years later, I know that I have reversed some of the impacts by relentless self-care, mindfulness, and a balanced life style. Though I am always a work in progress, I became determined to life fully. To claim my birthright to thrive and live wholeheartedly. It became my new lifestyle and each year, I set a goal for myself that helps me grow, learn, and thrive as a human being in a healthy body. 

So what I want to encourage you, my reader, to take away from this blog post is to start to focus more on your balanced and healthy life style. It truly is the path for healing your body/mind/spirit and creating more meaningful and connected relationships with yourself and others. It is the path to what we all want, to feel connected and feel that we belong and are loved. You can have that and feel that. Just start today and start small. Slowly create new healthy habits that phase out the old habits/behaviors that you learned when you did not have a choice. Now you can choose you!

You will wake up one day and recognize that you have the power to change how you feel, that you can choose peace and joy, no matter the circumstance and start to feel grateful for the body you have been given to experience love, gratitude, and connection to those you love and care about. 

So make this year count with a small beginning or a new step towards your fulfilled and healthy life. It is worth, it. You are worth it! 

I believe in you...always.   
                                                                        ********
Ready to tackle the impact of your trauma? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.
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Connecting to Your Body By Practicing Mindfulness

11/27/2017

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The practice of mindfulness, such as meditation, can be a challenge for trauma survivors.   Trauma disconnects you from your body in the moment to survive a perceived threat. Most survivors do not get the support they need to heal and process the abuse they suffered, which leads to chronic inner tension and toxic negative believes that feed unhealthy behaviors and feelings about themselves. We think we are bad, we feel bad, and believe the abuse was our fault. 

The thought of reconnecting with their bodies, where all the bad lives, feels very overwhelming in the beginning. Active mindfulness, of the body and mind, is a very helpful practice because it teaches us to become aware of body sensations, thoughts, and emotions and to relate to them with an open, nonjudgmental attitude. 

I remember feeling overwhelmed when I began to connect to the place where all the bad was hiding. The shame that lived inside my body was toxic. I had mastered denial about my past and was hiding behind the "little miss perfect" act, and working three jobs as a young woman. I have memories waking up in the middle of the night and feeling the terror and worry creep into my mind, my body slowly tensing up until I disconnected from it completely, not thinking about or feeling any of it. But eventually I could not pretend any longer. I was struggling with growing depression and physical pain that showed up in regular painful migraines and stomach cramps. 

Then I started my healing journey.  I was fortunate that I found a support group early on in my healing. Within this group, I learned about the impact of my past and how important it was to feel my feelings. I learned from watching other participants. I slowly connected to my feelings about what had been done to me. It took time and eventually, mindfulness and meditation became important tools that I utilized on my journey, for over 20 years. Now it is a part of my daily self-care practice. 

If you are new to mindfulness, it is defined as “the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment” (Kabat-Zinn, 2003 p. 145).

Research has consistently shown that mindfulness is an important predictor of well-being. People that meditate are more positive, feel more independent, and have higher self esteem and vitality. 

The other wonderful thing about mindfulness, is that it is already part of what being human is, a tool available to all humans. Anyone can practice mindfulness and you don't need anything outside of yourself to do it, even though it is helpful to follow a guide in the beginning in form of a book, course, or a coach. 

For some, mindfulness is easier to practice than meditation because you don't have to sit in silence in order to practice mindfulness. There are a range of different practices that I want to share with you in a future blog post but I also wanted to let you know that I am working on a 8 week mindfulness course that I will be offering in the new year. It will include a weekly webinar, a daily journal, and self guided mindfulness and meditation practices. This program is based on positive psychology and I know many of my clients will benefit from it.  

You can benefit from it as well. I lead my clients through body awareness exercises that help trauma survivors to learn to trust themselves and their bodies and gives them a practice that helps with self regulation and resilience during the healing journey. 
​

If you are interested in learning more about mindfulness, my upcoming group program, or have a question, please let me know. You can reply or comment below.

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Do you struggle with body awareness? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How Can TRE® Help You?

10/30/2017

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Being in Iceland this month, teaching TRE®, has been such a rewarding experience.  What a blessing to be able to witness the immediate benefits of TRE® on the two groups I’m leading!

If you’re a survivor of child abuse or trauma, there are many immediate and long-term benefits to TRE®, like:

  • Less Worry & Anxiety
  • Reduces Symptoms of PTSD
  • More Energy & Endurance
  • Improved Marital Relationships
  • Less Workplace Stress
  • Better Sleep
  • Less Relationship Conflict
  • Increased Flexibility
  • Greater Emotional Resiliency
  • Decreases Symptoms of Vicarious Trauma
  • Healing of Old Injuries
  • Lessens the Anxiety of a Serious Illness
  • Relief from Chronic Medical Conditions

But there are also long-term benefits for those who aren’t survivors of abuse or trauma.  One of those benefits is a reduction in muscle and back pain.

Unfortunately, I know this type of chronic pain well.  I was an athlete in high school and sustained a painful neck injury, which continues to plague me.  I was delighted to discover the shaking of my spine during a TRE® session has increased the flexibility of the muscles in my neck and shoulders.  It does this by stimulating the flow of blood to the muscles surrounding the bones in my neck.  Wow!  

Several of the people in my TRE® groups in Iceland are athletes or those who work out regularly.  They’re noticing the tremors created by TRE® have improved the flexibility of those extra tight muscles in the legs and pelvis, like the psoas muscles (hip flexors) and hamstrings.

All humans are born with the ability to shake out stress and tension.  But this isn’t something we’re taught in our modern society.  Instead, the body’s natural shaking (healing response) to trauma is seen as a weakness in our culture.  We learn from an early age to suppress it.

The biology of the human body contains all the wisdom and knowledge it needs to heal itself.  TRE® restores this natural healing ability by helping your body remember how to eliminate trauma naturally.  How cool is that?  

Is TRE® a healing tool you’d like to try?  If so, contact me for more information.  I’m always happy to help!
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Are you struggling with chronic pain or stubborn healing issues, and you’d like to try TRE®?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Why Can’t I Heal?

7/10/2017

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This is a question I asked myself for a long time.  So many people could diagnose me.  So many people could tell me what was wrong with me.  But few could actually help me heal.  

Why?  Because my healing wasn’t the task of these other people.  It was my job.  I had to take all the information I had gathered about recovering from child abuse and trauma and move that knowledge from my head to my heart.  In other words, I had to do the tough, messy work of applying it to my own life.  

Today, I’m going to make this task easier for you.  Here are the seven steps child abuse and trauma survivors need to take in order to heal.  Apply them every day.

  1. Establish Safety.  Figure out what makes you feel safe.  This is your first priority.
  2. Develop Courage.  Eventually, your willingness to heal will develop into courage, as you take more and more healthy risks.
  3. Create a Mindfulness Practice.  Connecting with your body is essential for healing.  As abused children, we learned the toxic skill of disconnection.  Mindfulness will help you reconnect.
  4. Express Your Emotions.  Learn how to identify, listen to, feel, and express your emotions in a healthy way.  All of them: the good, the bad, and the ugly!
  5. Change Your Negative Beliefs.  You created these toxic beliefs as a way to survive an abusive childhood.  But you’re an adult now.  Change your story (beliefs) to what benefits your adult life.
  6. Practice Self-Care, Self-Love, and Self-Compassion.  Put yourself first on your To-Do list.  Every day find a way to lovingly care for and celebrate yourself.
  7. Build a Support System.  You can’t do this alone.  Healing doesn’t work that way.  Surround yourself with nourishing friends who support your healing goals.

Just the act of implementing these seven steps is a major move forward on your healing journey.  Stick with it, and you’ll experience a positive shift sooner than you think.  Why?  Because these steps are more than a decision.  They’re a lifestyle change.  

And that’s how you heal.  Finally!

                                                        ********

If you’re having trouble with any of these steps, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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What Does Mindfulness Really Mean?

7/3/2017

2 Comments

 
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Mindfulness is about living in the moment and being present for the NOW.  We all know that.  But what you might not realize is “being present” doesn’t mean being present in your head.  Mindfulness really means being present in your body.


A big part of the healing journey is learning how to connect with your body again.  Self-compassion is a good example.  It’s the practice of becoming aware of what’s going on in your body, so you can experience what it feels like to be loving and kind to yourself.


Mindfulness is not a head thing.  You feel what’s happening in the present moment in your body and in your heart.  Not in your head.


Here’s what I mean.  You feel worries about the future and bad memories from the past in your body first.  Being connected to your body through mindfulness instantly alerts you that this is happening.  That gives you the opportunity to remind yourself the past is over, and no one has any control over the future.  Through mindfulness you can let go of these negative emotions and worries rather than repress them.


Your body’s awareness is actually faster than your mind.  For example, you feel the energy shift in a room, situation, or conversation in your body first.  Then your mind becomes aware of it.  This is also true of good and bad thoughts, memories, and every emotion.  


When you reconnect with your body through mindfulness, you’re no longer at the mercy of every stray thought, memory, or emotion.  You’ll know the instant your body senses something, which gives you the opportunity to choose what you want to think and feel at that moment.  


Reconnecting to your body through mindfulness expands every area of your awareness.  Suddenly, you can see how your life experiences made you the awesome, compassionate person that you are today.  You can see how all of this, the good and the bad, brought you to this present moment in time.  


When you see the “big picture” through the peace and calm of mindfulness, you can’t help feeling grateful for the gift you’ve become.  And that’s exactly what you are.  A precious gift!

                                                          ********​

Are you having trouble reconnecting to your body through mindfulness?  Is the practice of mindfulness difficult for you?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Your Body is Miraculous!

5/16/2017

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There’s a reason you can heal and transform yourself after abuse or trauma.  It’s because your body knows how to heal itself.  This self-healing mechanism is part of your biology.  Who knew, right?  

However, the hard part about healing will be finding the toxic beliefs caused by trauma that keep this mechanism from working properly.  These toxic beliefs form tension patterns in the body.  This trapped tension needs to be released, or your nervous system will interpret it as an imbalance.  

If you’ve ever wondered why you’ve always felt like there was something wrong with you, this is the reason.  It’s your biology.  You’re not different from other people.  You’re not broken.  It’s just your body’s normal response to trapped tension.  It interprets it as an imbalance.

The biology of your body really is miraculous.  Once you understand this, it’s time to fall in love with your body.  Easier said than done, I know.  If you’ve always thought there was something wrong with your body, this will feel strange at first.  

But stick with it.  Spend some time every day building a loving relationship with your body.  Get comfortable with it.  Soon you’ll begin to appreciate how hard it has always worked to keep you safe and healthy.

None of us likes to admit this, but trauma is a part of life.  It’s normal to some degree for everyone.  Fortunately, your body was designed to handle trauma quickly and efficiently.  That’s why it often chooses the path of least resistance.

Begin to build a loving, trusting relationship with your miraculous body today.  Do that by honoring its biology, nervous system, and amazing self-healing abilities.    

The healing journey is often a bumpy ride.  There will be lots of challenges along the way.  Some will be emotional.  Others will be physical.  Aren’t you glad your body was designed to handle all of them?  We are truly blessed!
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Are you having a difficult time appreciating your body and building a loving relationship with it?  If so, I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!
Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
Ph: 619-889-6366  
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