Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

Why You Should Lead with Your Heart

5/11/2018

Most people that know me understand my love of heart-shaped things. I like to keep the kinds of hearts you see in the image below all over my house, out in plain site. Why?

Because after years of healing and much effort, I realized that life is best lived with your heart out in the open, exposed and not hidden away. Keeping these hearts around me serve as a constant reminder to keep mine out as well and not fall back into habits of guarding it from the people I love out of fear. I don't have to fear love anymore.

I'm in charge of heart and I get to protect it. No longer will I allow people to hurt it. And because I know that I am capable of keeping it safe, I have no more fear on giving it to as many people as I want. Friends, family, people I just met yesterday. They all get to see the real me at all times and feel my heart because I keep it at the forefront of my being. I let my heart lead. Because the heart wants to be used, wants to keep growing, it wants to be loved and love in return. So let it.

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Are you sharing your heart? I know it feels scary at first. I would like to help! Just follow (this link) to book on my calendar or feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the steps to start to live from your heart. I believe in you! Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.

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What Do You Believe, and Does It Serve You?

7/31/2017

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Have you noticed my recent blog posts have been building on a certain theme? Each one is written to take you deeper and deeper into your healing. My intent is to help you tackle your core issues and accelerate your healing. Sounds good, doesn’t it? I think so!

Today, let’s talk about what we believe. It’s more important than you might think.

Unfortunately, abused children are told many lies. Children are sponges, and they’re born into this world, trusting their parents and caretakers. It’s only natural for them to absorb and believe everything they’re taught. Even if what they’re taught isn’t true.

Every single thing we do is a direct response to what we believe. Everything we say and think is also based on these core beliefs. So my question to you is what do you believe?

Unless you’re consciously choosing healthy beliefs, creating new habits based on those beliefs, and changing your behavior to match those beliefs, you’re living your life on “autopilot.” Autopilot for a survivor of child abuse means you’ll continue to live according to the toxic lies and beliefs you were taught by your abuser. Ouch!

To change this toxic lifestyle pattern, I encourage you to question all your beliefs. Ask yourself: where did this belief come from? Is it authentic to who I am? Does it serve me? Does it serve others?

If you’re not sure what you believe, start here. I’ve taken six toxic core beliefs, and I’ve changed them into healthy core beliefs. You can do the same.

Change I am unworthy (the lie) into I am worthy (the truth).
Change I have no value (the lie) into I am valuable (the truth).
Change I’m not enough (the lie) into I am enough (the truth).
Change I am a burden (the lie) into I am a gift (the truth).
Change I am weak (the lie) into I am strong (the truth).
Change I am not lovable (the lie) into I am loved by God (the truth).

Cultivate the habit of questioning every old and new belief you hold. If a belief doesn’t serve your authentic self, it’s toxic. Dump it or change it into a healthy belief.

That’s how you live day by day as your authentic self!
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Is your brain too foggy from trauma to discover your core toxic beliefs? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Your Body is Miraculous!

5/16/2017

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There’s a reason you can heal and transform yourself after abuse or trauma. It’s because your body knows how to heal itself. This self-healing mechanism is part of your biology. Who knew, right?

However, the hard part about healing will be finding the toxic beliefs caused by trauma that keep this mechanism from working properly. These toxic beliefs form tension patterns in the body. This trapped tension needs to be released, or your nervous system will interpret it as an imbalance.

If you’ve ever wondered why you’ve always felt like there was something wrong with you, this is the reason. It’s your biology. You’re not different from other people. You’re not broken. It’s just your body’s normal response to trapped tension. It interprets it as an imbalance.

The biology of your body really is miraculous. Once you understand this, it’s time to fall in love with your body. Easier said than done, I know. If you’ve always thought there was something wrong with your body, this will feel strange at first.

But stick with it. Spend some time every day building a loving relationship with your body. Get comfortable with it. Soon you’ll begin to appreciate how hard it has always worked to keep you safe and healthy.

None of us likes to admit this, but trauma is a part of life. It’s normal to some degree for everyone. Fortunately, your body was designed to handle trauma quickly and efficiently. That’s why it often chooses the path of least resistance.

Begin to build a loving, trusting relationship with your miraculous body today. Do that by honoring its biology, nervous system, and amazing self-healing abilities.

The healing journey is often a bumpy ride. There will be lots of challenges along the way. Some will be emotional. Others will be physical. Aren’t you glad your body was designed to handle all of them? We are truly blessed!
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Are you having a difficult time appreciating your body and building a loving relationship with it? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!
Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Healing From Child Abuse is Like Peeling an Onion

3/27/2017

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Healing from child abuse or chronic trauma doesn’t happen step-by-step, as if you were climbing a staircase. The healing process is more like peeling an onion.

Child abuse is sustained trauma that happens day after day. It forces you to disconnect from your mind, body, and heart. This helps you survive the abuse, but it also hides your authentic self.

Every day for years you disconnected from reality and from your true identity, while enduring the abuse. Every year added a new layer of repression, inner tension, and toxic beliefs.

Your brain helped you do this when you were a child in order to protect you. But now you’re an adult, and this repressed trauma is manifesting as toxic relationships, addiction, codependency, destructive behavior patterns, illness, or chronic pain. You’d love to fix this, and you’ve tried. But nothing seems to work. Instead, you’re stuck, reliving the same problems over and over again. Ugh!

To move forward in a meaningful way, change your focus. Begin to see yourself as an onion. Then ask yourself these deep questions:

What negative themes are repeated in your life?
What are your challenges?
What do your relationships look like?
Do your friends treat you with respect and kindness?
Do you schedule daily self-care?
What are your healing goals?
What gives you joy?
What makes you feel fulfilled?

Each question you answer brings awareness with it. And this awareness peels away another layer of repressed trauma, just like you were peeling an onion.

However, peeling an onion always makes you cry, right? Awareness does the same thing. When awareness appears, it immediately peels away a layer of repressed trauma. That releases a flood of emotion, like sadness, grief, anger, or rage.

You have to grab a tissue to blot your eyes when peeling an onion, right? Do the same with awareness. Use kindness and compassion, like a soothing tissue, until those emotions flow through you and out.

Keep answering these deep questions, gaining awareness, and peeling away each layer of repressed trauma. Now you’re no longer stuck, and your life has become brighter, more joyous, and filled with gratitude for how far you’ve come. This is the healing journey!
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Are you stuck on your healing journey and can’t seem to move forward again? Do you need help asking and answering those deep questions? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Become a Connection Magnet!

3/20/2017

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I often mention in my blog posts how we had to disconnect from our body when we were children in order to survive the abuse we endured. This is how our nervous system protected us. It knew the abuse was too much for our tender young mind, spirit, and soul to handle.

However, when you grow up, this coping skill turns toxic and works against you. To fix that, you must learn how to reconnect with your body. Why? Because you can’t connect with others in a meaningful way until you connect with your body. You might think when you become an adult your body will reconnect automatically. But it can’t. It still doesn’t feel safe.

So we sabotage our relationships. We crave connection with other people and pull them to us. But when they get too close, we freak and push them away. We use lots of excuses to justify our toxic behavior. We say we can’t meet the right people. Or no one cares about us. Or no one has anything in common with us. Sound familiar?

Unfortunately, we don’t push the abusive people away. Instead, we let them get too close. We end up doing all the giving in those toxic relationships. The abuser just takes and takes and takes and then abandons us in a heartless manner. Is it any wonder your body never feels safe?

To build healthy, positive relationships, you must learn how to reconnect with your body. It’s the only way your body will ever feel safe. You can start by not giving so much to others. Develop the habit of giving the same amount of time, love, care, and compassion to yourself. Be as good to yourself as you are to others.

When you do, an incredible thing happens. Only emotionally healthy relationships will flow into your life. In fact, I’m still in awe of this. I no longer attract abusers. Now I only attract joyous, nurturing people, who value me as much as I value myself. Wow, right?

As you connect with your body in a loving way, it will finally feel safe, and you’ll become a “connection magnet.” Then watch how God brings the most incredible people and relationships into your life. I guarantee you’ll be as awestruck as I am!

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Are you trapped in that frustrating pull/push pattern? Is it hard for you to reconnect with your body? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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This is How You Create a Happy Life

3/13/2017

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Life is about fulfillment. When I eliminated the drama in my life, it simplified things. As my life becomes more simplified, I’m happier and more content.

How does this minimalist strategy work?

Begin by answering a question: What is the most important thing in your life, the thing that makes you the happiest? This shouldn’t be the thing you do that makes your family or friends or everyone else happy. This isn’t about them. It’s about YOU.

It could be anything. It could be expressing a talent you were born with. It could be your favorite hobby. It could be a philosophy of life. Or it could be practicing your religion. You decide.

Next, take a look at the amount of time you devote each day to this thing that is most important to you. If you can’t find time for it, why is that? What’s preventing you from spending even a few minutes each day doing the thing that is most important to you?

Yes, we all have daily responsibilities. That’s a given. But this isn’t what I’m talking about. Instead, look at everything else that eats up your time each day. For example, how many needy people drain your energy and time? How many manipulators, whiners, narcissists, and egomaniacs take advantage of your helpful nature each day?

This is the “drama” I eliminated from my life. You can do the same. Let these people go. Eliminate them or limit the amount of time they selfishly steal from you every day.

Next, eliminate all the unnecessary tasks in your schedule. Especially the things you do for the drama people in your life. You’ll end up with lots of extra time each day. Devote some of that time to the thing which is most important to YOU. Then sit back and watch your life become happier and more peaceful. I love how that happens!

This is the way life is supposed to be. We’re always going to have a few hectic, exhausting days each month. That’s life. But the majority of your days should be filled with peace, joy, and contentment.

Happiness is found in simplicity. And it begins by eliminating the drama from your life. Try it. You’ll see!

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Do you have lots of drama in your life, but you don’t know how to eliminate these aggravating people or limit their access to your time? I can help you do this. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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You’re Not a Selfish Person

2/12/2017

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Child abuse survivors are not selfish people. In fact, we have a toxic habit of putting our needs last and the needs of everyone else first.

We do this for two reasons. First, not only were we taught to put the needs of others ahead of our own but we quickly discovered making sure our abusers were happy and cared for was a way for these people to leave us alone.

Second, if you had a narcissistic parent, you were constantly punished for being “selfish.” Anytime a child puts his or her basic emotional needs first, a narcissistic parent will accuse that child of being selfish. Why? Because the narcissist’s needs should always come first. No exceptions. This is a toxic form of narcissistic abuse. It teaches the child that he or she has no value or worth.

Over time, like many of you, I lost touch with my individuality. I had no idea what I needed or wanted. I didn’t even know how to ask for it. My self-sacrificing behavior was fueled by the toxic belief that people who put their needs first were selfish. To prove I wasn’t that kind of person, I’d spent my entire life ignoring my needs.

This is what the pain of trauma is all about. Abuse took our identity from us. We no longer remember who we are, and we have no idea what we need. Because of what happened to us, we’re terrified that we aren’t worthy of love or care.

None of this is true. We’re just as worthy of self-care and self-compassion as everyone else. You’re not a selfish person. And you never were.

Let today be the day you put yourself first in a healthy way. Here’s how to start: do what brings you joy. I’m not kidding. It’s that simple.

Go to a coffee shop and enjoy the peace
Window shop
Drive to the park
Go to a movie
Attend a Sunday church service or daily Mass
Join a gym
Take a walk around the block
Call a friend to chat
Meet a friend for coffee or lunch
Read a book
Practice yoga
Meditate
Learn a new language
Buy yourself a small gift
Plant a garden
Play with your pet
Take a relaxing bubble bath
Work a crossword puzzle
Start a new craft project

You don’t need anyone’s permission to do these things. Yes, taking time for yourself will feel uncomfortable at first. I used to worry about what others would think. I felt so guilty when I took care of myself! But then I realized no one was watching. That’s because self-care is normal, healthy behavior. Who knew, right? Not us!

Your sole purpose in life isn’t to exhaust yourself by serving others. The more you practice self-care the less power this toxic belief will hold over you. Every day do something that makes you happy. You’re worth it!

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Is it hard for you to take time for yourself? Do you struggle with the concept of loving self-care? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in Paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email to my weekly blog post, go here: http://www.educate4change.com and register on the homepage or in the popup box.

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The Best Gift You Can Give Your Children

2/6/2017

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Good parenting isn’t easy! As you can imagine, it was really hard for me in the beginning. To be honest, I was terrified. I had no idea what good parenting looked like. I just knew I wanted my kids to have a healthier, happier, safer childhood than mine. But I didn’t know how to make that happen.

So I did the best I could. I wasn’t abusive to them, but I struggled in the emotional areas. I didn’t know how important it was to be present for them. Giving a child your total and complete attention is how you demonstrate a child’s worth. This is the kind of love I had always craved as a child but never received, so I didn’t know how to do this for my kids.

Now I’m making up for lost time. I want my kids to feel heard. I do this by demonstrating full body listening and eye contact, while I lovingly hear every word they say to me.

It’s never too late to start. Begin today. It doesn’t matter how old your kids are now or where they live. We all need parents who are connected to their hearts and not afraid to validate our worth by hearing what we have to say.

This week I told each of my children what I love most about them. They responded by telling me that I’m their role model. What they love most about me is all the love coming out of me. They can actually feel that love energy whenever I’m near. Even their friends talk about it!

That makes my heart sing, because I want my kids to see what it feels like to be a wholehearted, loving, compassionate adult. It’s an honor to be able to demonstrate this for them.

No family is perfect. But we try to understand each other. Kindness is a top priority. No ridiculing or judgment is allowed. Consequently, we live in a peaceful home.

This would have made all the difference to me when I was growing up. You can give the gift of a peaceful home to your children, too. Start today. Your kids will thank you!
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Are you a parent, as well as a survivor of child abuse? Would you like to be able to create a peaceful, loving home for your kids, but you don’t know where to start? I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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"Journey to the Heart"

12/12/2016

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Are you a survivor of abuse or trauma?

If so, this book
was written for YOU!

Journey to the Heart

A 365-Day Guide to Thriving After Trauma

by Svava Brooks

$14.95 paperback
$9.95 Kindle ebook

(186 pages)

This book was written as a daily guide for the survivors of abuse or trauma. Each day features a little bit of “truth” to inspire you to think about a certain aspect of your healing journey.

Keep this book by your bedside. Read one section every morning for 365 days. Consider how the truth for that day applies to your past, present, and the trauma you survived.

As you allow each section to sink deeply into your heart and soul, you’ll be taking another step forward on your healing journey. It doesn’t matter whether you’re at the beginning, middle, or in the last phase of your healing. If you work through this book day by day, you’ll be making measurable progress.

After 365 days, you won’t be the same person you used to be. You’ll no longer be a Survivor. You’ll be a Thriver. You’ll finally be free. Free from the trauma of your past. Free of limitations. Free to create the life you desire!!

(Amazon buy link)

What Are Survivors Saying About Svava Brooks?

“Svava’s impact on my life and my healing journey is beyond measure. I would highly recommend her to anyone who is a victim of abuse. I overcame depression, anxiety, fear, and self-loathing because of her mentorship, support, and guidance.” (M.M.)

“Svava Brooks has a natural ability to not only hear what you say but understand. Her level of empathy and wisdom goes beyond the ordinary. She got me to open up and talk about my past in such a positive way that I soon was able to deal with my abuse. Again, I just cannot say enough about Svava Brooks.“ (J. M.)

“Dearest Svava, the work that you do and the wonderful person you are make the world a better place! Thank you for helping my husband (and family) begin the healing process. You will forever be a light in our eyes!” (S.)

Accelerate Your Healing Journey!
Order this Life-Changing Book TODAY

Journey to the Heart

A 365-Day Guide to Thriving After Trauma

by Svava Brooks

$14.95 paperback
$9.95 Kindle ebook

(Amazon buy link)

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Are you a survivor of abuse or trauma? Are you struggling with your healing journey? I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How to Feel Safe in an Unsafe World

12/4/2016

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Safety is a major issue for us. Most survivors of child abuse or trauma don't know how to feel safe.

One of the first things I do with new clients is help them establish an understanding of safety. But how do you do that? How can you feel safe in an unsafe world?

You tackle this goal in two phases. First, you create a safe inner world for yourself. Then you establish a safe outer world.

When we don't feel safe as adults, it’s because our inner world isn’t safe. In order to heal your inner world, you must give yourself permission to not only feel your emotions but also face those emotions you weren’t allowed to express as an abused child.

This is important, because every year those repressed emotions eat up more space inside you. You need to acknowledge them, feel them, express them, and then release them in a healthy way.

After spending years struggling with my feelings, I’ve learned to appreciate them. I no longer fear them. Your emotions are the language your body uses to communicate with you. This is how your nervous system warns you about something or lets you know it’s time to make a change in a certain area of your life.

Once you’ve made peace with your emotions and created a safe inner world, your outer world will begin to shift and change.

The most important step I took in creating a safe outer world was to cut out family members who were unsupportive of my healing. As I healed my inner world, I realized most of my family was never going to be a part of my healing, and I’m okay with that. We each have our own path to follow. We may have been born into the same family, but that doesn’t mean our paths are the same.

If you’re having trouble with safety issues and need help, I’m here for you. My clients often tell me how safe they feel with me. That’s because I simplify the process to make it easier for them to create a safe inner and outer world for themselves.

Contact me if you need help. I had to create safety for myself years ago, so I’m happy to show you how to do it, too!
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Is safety a major issue for you? Are you struggling to feel safe in an unsafe world? If so, I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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<<Previous

Why You Should Lead with Your Heart

What Do You Believe, and Does It Serve You?

Your Body is Miraculous!

Healing From Child Abuse is Like Peeling an Onion

Become a Connection Magnet!

This is How You Create a Happy Life

You’re Not a Selfish Person

The Best Gift You Can Give Your Children

"Journey to the Heart"

How to Feel Safe in an Unsafe World

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