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What The Case of Larry Nassar Should Teach Us About Preventing CSA

1/31/2018

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Photo Credit: Anthony Lanzilote/Getty Images

Let's talk about what happened last week, with the case of Larry Nassar. What can we take away from this experience? What did you learn? What can you do to ensure something like this does not happen in your community?

The sad part about Larry Nassar is that this is not an isolated event. The circumstance and the people that played a role in the abuse over such a long period of time shows that where there are children, where there is prestige, and where someone is placed in authority over children and their success, there is abuse. There are people in power all over our country and even your community that are abusing children at the rate that he did. How do we know? The statistics tell us this. https://www.d2l.org/the-issue/statistics/

Let's sum up the events. 

After one week of deliberation and hearing survivor testimonies, Larry Nassar, the former USA sports physician treating America's top female Olympic gymnasts, was sentenced to 175 years in prison for over two decades of sexually abusing over 150 women and girls.

The highlight of the week was the powerful support the judge Rosemarie Aquilina showed to each of the victims that chose to step forward and share their story in a public way. The judge has received criticism from the legal community for stepping in the role of an advocate when her role is a judge, but as a survivor I can only imagine the powerful impact her voice and actions had on the victims. After each of them spoke, she thanked them for their courage and strength and invited them to see that this was just the beginning of them living a strong empowered life, that their past does not have to define them, and that their story is just beginning. They are not victims but survivors. The person that hurt them is going to remain locked behind bars for the rest of his life but that their life was just starting and full of possibility and hope. 

I have heard outrage and confusion in the media and from my community. How could this possibly have happened? Someone must have known! Why did these girls not tell anyone?

This case is not an isolated event. If you have looked at the statistics then you can see that 90% of children are abused by someone they know and trust, and most victims never tell anyone. This puts the responsibility of keeping kids safe on adults. On all of us. As responsible caring parents and adults, we need to understand and actively practice the steps we can to minimize the risk and educate other adults in our community to join us to create a safer and more aware community for all children and the loving adults that care and work with our kids. 

Most parents don't want to consider the possibility that something like this could happen to their child. But only by talking to our children age appropriately about private parts, safe touch, secrets, and boundaries, do we give our kids the knowledge and the practice to communicate in a direct way to safe people if someone does something to them that is outside of what you have taught and modeled to them.

Open conversation does not scare your child. It actually gives you child comfort, safety and they feel closer to you. When you show them how to talk openly about anything or anyone that makes them feel uncomfortable, you are helping them to learn to trust themselves, better navigate boundaries, and speak up and ask for help if they need it. 

Children struggle because they are getting bombarded with very confusing messages from the media and sometimes their peers. You, as their caregiver, need to be their go-to person. But they might think you are uncomfortable talking about it if you don't start the conversation first. 

So how can this happen? How can we step up and do our part to ensure the safety of our children and our communities? I would like to offer the 5 steps that I have been teaching on behalf of Darkness to Light for almost 15 years now.  https://www.d2l.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/5-Steps-to-Protecting-Our-Kids-2017.pdf

Steps to Protecting Our Kids - 
Step 1: Learn the Facts
Step 2: Minimize Opportunity
Step 3:Talk About It
Step 4: Recognize the Signs
Step 5: React Responsibly

If, after reading through the steps, you are still uncomfortable or uncertain about how you would start to talk about this with others, you can take the Darkness to Light Steward of Children Child Sexual Abuse Prevention training. It is a 2 hour class, either online or in person. https://www.d2l.org/education/stewards-of-children/  What this class will do is teach you the steps and give you the language and questions that you can use as you start to talk to others in your community about children's safety. It also gives you suggestions that you can take to your school or youth serving organization to better protect the kids there. 

The last piece of advice I want to offer and suggest to you is to remember that how we respond to these cases in the media is important. Chances are that there are adults or children around you that have not disclosed abuse. Your disbelief and doubt that this could happen can further silence people around you, even children, that perhaps are waiting for the right time to ask for help. 

I want to encourage all of us to use this opportunity to educate ourselves and others. We do that by becoming informed and learn what steps we can take and at the same time, we are opening the door for victims to feel safe to come forward to ask for help if they have doubt of not being believed.

Surviving abuse is not the hardest part. Not being able to talk about it and get the help we need to start our healing journey after the abuse is the hardest part. That is the deepest source of pain for most survivors. To not to be believed, not feel heard, and not have a safe place to tell the truth. 

So as hard as these news have been on all of us, and I know many survivors that are feeling very overwhelmed by all of it, we can and I hope that we each choose to do something that creates movement and change in our lives. Something that gives us power.  Education, knowledge, and support is what brings us together and we are then more likely to take courageous action. 

Child sexual abuse thrives in silence and secrecy. It also thrives in fear. We don't have to live in fear anymore. We can learn. We can change. We can choose what gives us the courage to change. 

Please use your power to create change. For you. For the survivors. For all of us. Together we can stop the cycle of abuse in our communities.

If you want to read more about the Larry Nassar story, use the links below: 

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-heffernan-larry-nassar-20180126-story.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/24/sports/rachael-denhollander-nassar-gymnastics.html
http://time.com/5020885/aly-raisman-sexual-abuse-usa-gymnastics-doctor-larry-nassar/
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2018/jan/24/victim-impact-statements-against-larry-nassar-i-thought-i-was-going-to-die
https://www.npr.org/2018/01/28/581397061/how-larry-nassars-abuse-went-on-for-so-long
https://www.usnews.com/opinion/thomas-jefferson-street/articles/2018-01-25/how-did-larry-nassar-get-away-with-molesting-girls-in-gymnastics-for-years
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/25/sports/larry-nassar-gymnastics-abuse.html


Want to make sure your kids are safe? Want to educate your community about child sexual abuse prevention? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to increase safety for your family & make a difference in your community now.  Reserve your spot NOW!
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Connecting With Your Creative Inner Self Can Help You Heal

12/5/2017

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Healing after abuse or trauma is a very creative process. I didn't used to think so but the truth is, survivors have found very creative ways to cope after the trauma, to stay ahead of the memories, whether it was because they simply did not have the support they needed or to stay busy enough to avoid feeling the the pain. But it does catch up with us eventually.

In order to survive, we create stories about ourselves, our childhood, our families, and the past. We creatively numb, distract, or disassociate from the truth because we have not felt safe to acknowledge the truth, not inside our bodies or in our families or communities. But we don’t see that we are being creative, very resourceful, and resilient.

Recognizing that you are creative opens up the possibility for you to see things differently and my favorite part about creative thinking is that it creates space for authenticity. You can do it your way, not like anyone else. Because “art” is anything the creator wants it to be, a form of self expression. You also don’t have to share with anyone for it to be creative. And when it comes to sharing your story, I encourage you to not share it until you are sure that the person hearing it will celebrate you and honor your courage and your work. People have to earn our trust for us to choose to share our heartbreaking stories of trauma and the creative stories of our healing.

I know I am not the first person to shudder in a workshop or a class when the teacher announced that we were going to create art to help us with the next part of healing. I have learned to recognize where this comes from in me. It is the "little miss perfect" in me that did not dare create anything unless it was perfect. I now scoop her up into my arms and let her know that this is actually where we get to paint outside the lines and scribble in any color if that is what feels right in the moment. I am not going to compare her creativity to someone else’s like I used to. No more.

The healing journey is about finding our way back to our truth, our authentic selves, and along the way we do get to reconnect with our inner child that did like arts and crafts. Do you remember?

I would love to hear how you are using your creativity on your healing journey and how it is helping you. Whether you are writing new stories, acknowledging the hurt, the truth, stories, creating poems, sharing your feelings.Or maybe playing or listening to music that moves your heart, or gets you dancing, going to the gym, getting out into nature, creating a vision board or collage where you paste images, magazine clippings, adding color and glitter, images that move you, inspire you and empower you, speaking, singing, instruments, chanting, movement, dancing, skipping...to stay true to the truth of who you are, your authentic creative self!

The options are endless and amazing. I can’t wait to hear from you if you are willing to share, either here on the blog or just hit reply to my email and tell me how you have connected your creativity and healing. If you have created an identity like I did, that I am NOT an artist, be gentle with yourself. Put your hand on your heart and find where that resistance lives in your body. Get to know it like an old friend. Take lots of time and go slow. Let your inner child know you are not here to make him or her do anything they are not willing to do. You just want them to play with you a little when they are ready. And keep showing up. Slowly find the ways to remind you and your parts where you are already creative. Help them shift in perception of what is allowed and acceptable. 

And fall in love with your creativity!

                                                                    ********

Do you struggle with finding your way back to your truth?
Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Why Can’t I Heal?

7/10/2017

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This is a question I asked myself for a long time.  So many people could diagnose me.  So many people could tell me what was wrong with me.  But few could actually help me heal.  

Why?  Because my healing wasn’t the task of these other people.  It was my job.  I had to take all the information I had gathered about recovering from child abuse and trauma and move that knowledge from my head to my heart.  In other words, I had to do the tough, messy work of applying it to my own life.  

Today, I’m going to make this task easier for you.  Here are the seven steps child abuse and trauma survivors need to take in order to heal.  Apply them every day.

  1. Establish Safety.  Figure out what makes you feel safe.  This is your first priority.
  2. Develop Courage.  Eventually, your willingness to heal will develop into courage, as you take more and more healthy risks.
  3. Create a Mindfulness Practice.  Connecting with your body is essential for healing.  As abused children, we learned the toxic skill of disconnection.  Mindfulness will help you reconnect.
  4. Express Your Emotions.  Learn how to identify, listen to, feel, and express your emotions in a healthy way.  All of them: the good, the bad, and the ugly!
  5. Change Your Negative Beliefs.  You created these toxic beliefs as a way to survive an abusive childhood.  But you’re an adult now.  Change your story (beliefs) to what benefits your adult life.
  6. Practice Self-Care, Self-Love, and Self-Compassion.  Put yourself first on your To-Do list.  Every day find a way to lovingly care for and celebrate yourself.
  7. Build a Support System.  You can’t do this alone.  Healing doesn’t work that way.  Surround yourself with nourishing friends who support your healing goals.

Just the act of implementing these seven steps is a major move forward on your healing journey.  Stick with it, and you’ll experience a positive shift sooner than you think.  Why?  Because these steps are more than a decision.  They’re a lifestyle change.  

And that’s how you heal.  Finally!

                                                        ********

If you’re having trouble with any of these steps, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Do You Believe You Can Heal?

6/6/2017

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Recently, I heard there are 42 million child sexual abuse survivors in the U.S.  That number is probably much higher, because some survivors never tell anyone about their abusive past.


Most survivors spend years (maybe decades) thinking about the past before we find the courage to tell someone about it.  When the brain continually focuses on the trauma from an abusive past, it just makes the pain worse.  It’s the major cause of our suffering.


That’s why to heal from the past you have to believe you can heal.  


Yes, feeling the pain, sitting with it, acknowledging it, allowing it to express itself in a healthy way, and releasing it from your body is one of the first steps on the healing journey.  Until you do that, you’ll never completely heal.


However, you can’t remain in this step forever.  At some point, your heart will let you know it’s time to move forward to the next step on your healing journey.  If you don’t, fear will take over and try to convince you that you’ll never heal.  To conquer this fear, you must believe healing is possible.  


And that’s my question for you today.  Do you really, honestly believe you can heal?


We can never go back and undo the trauma from our abusive past.  The damage is done.  But you can move forward to the next step on your healing journey.  You do that by choosing to heal.


Everyone’s healing journey is unique.  We all move forward at a different pace.  Some steps on your healing journey will come easily for you, and you’ll accomplish them quickly.  Others will take weeks or months to work through.  Everyone is different.


The best way to defeat your fears and continue moving forward is to use your own life as proof.  Look back to where you were a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago.  You’ve come a long way, haven’t you?  


Yes, you can heal!  Just look at your life.  That’s all the proof you’ll need.
                                                            ********

Are you stuck on your healing journey?  Do you feel like you’ve plateaued out, and you’re not moving forward anymore?  If so, I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


​Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback 
(link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!



Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Do You Know How Courageous You Are?!

4/23/2017

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Abuse and trauma survivors are incredibly strong people.  We know our strength is what helped us survive, and it’s what keeps us going now.  Yet we know something is missing.

This missing link is courage.  We know we’re strong.  But we’ve never allowed ourselves to realize that we’re also courageous people.  And we always have been.  

That’s because courage is risky.  The only thing we’ve ever wanted is what we never had as abused children: safety.  Risk makes you vulnerable.  No thanks, right?

Hey, I can relate.  I knew I was a strong person to have survived over a decade of child sexual abuse.  But courageous?  Me?  Nah, no way.  I was willing to work hard on my healing journey, but courage felt too risky and vulnerable.  Nope, that’s not me.

Somehow we can’t see courage in ourselves.  But it’s easy to see it in others.  And that’s where you need to start.  Think of someone you believe is not only strong but also courageous.  Adopt this person as your role model.

Next, think about what makes this person courageous?  It might be her fearless personal authenticity or her honesty.  Maybe he’s taken a stand against injustice by his actions or words.  Maybe she’s simply chosen the road less travelled.  What is it about this person that touches your heart and earns your admiration?

Guess what?  Whatever it is that makes this person courageous is a quality you also possess.  It’s true.  When you choose to heal from abuse and trauma, reach out for support, open yourself to others in an online group for survivors, talk about your past, or receive comfort from other survivors, that’s an act of courage.  

Allow the revelation of your courageousness to sink in.  When you do, you’ll discover courage is actually a source of safety.  Now it’s okay to let your guard down a little, ask for more support, love more, have more fun, and feel more gratitude for everything you’ve accomplished.  Why?  Because now you know you’re safe.    

                                                          ********

Is it impossible for you to believe you’re a courageous person?  Is courage a difficult concept for you to comprehend?  If so, I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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What If I Don’t Know What I Want?

4/17/2017

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If 2017 has been an unusually busy year for you, I can totally relate!  But for survivors of abuse, a hectic schedule isn’t something out of the ordinary.  Too often it’s the norm.

An important milestone on your healing journey will be the realization that you’re ready to step off this hectic hamster wheel.  If you’re tired of living in reaction mode, dashing from sunrise to sunset each day, trying to catch up but never achieving that goal, good for you!  The desire to end your frantic pace is a major accomplishment.  

But how do you stop this toxic merry-go-round?  You simply change direction.  Instead of trying to satisfy the wants and needs of everyone else in your life, you concentrate on satisfying your own.

Easier said than done for abuse survivors like us, right?  We’re pros at knowing what we don’t want.  But we’re clueless about what we do want.  In fact, most of us have never considered asking ourselves important questions like:

  • What do I want?
  • What do I need?
  • What do I want my life to be about?

The abuse we suffered battered us with the false belief that we aren’t as valuable as everyone else.  At our core, we feel we don’t deserve to relax, to do what brings us joy, or to make our needs a top priority.

Of course, none of this is true.  Abuse is built on lies, and this is a big one.  Every human being on the planet is valuable, regardless of what they’ve survived.  And that includes YOU!

To determine what you want and need in life, the first step is gratitude.  Think about everything you’re grateful for.  When we appreciate all the good things in life, we appreciate the good things about ourselves.    

Begin every morning with gratitude.  This practice will help you gain more clarity about what you truly want and need.  Then create a list of those things.    

Here’s my challenge to you.  Now that you have a list of your wants and needs, schedule at least one thing from this list every day.  

When you’re ready to accept my challenge, you’ve reached another major milestone on your healing journey.  Congratulations!
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Does your mind go blank every time someone asks you what YOU want in life?  That’s not uncommon for survivors of abuse.  But don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Healing From Child Abuse is Like Peeling an Onion

3/27/2017

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Healing from child abuse or chronic trauma doesn’t happen step-by-step, as if you were climbing a staircase.  The healing process is more like peeling an onion.

Child abuse is sustained trauma that happens day after day.  It forces you to disconnect from your mind, body, and heart.  This helps you survive the abuse, but it also hides your authentic self.

Every day for years you disconnected from reality and from your true identity, while enduring the abuse.  Every year added a new layer of repression, inner tension, and toxic beliefs.  

Your brain helped you do this when you were a child in order to protect you.  But now you’re an adult, and this repressed trauma is manifesting as toxic relationships, addiction, codependency, destructive behavior patterns, illness, or chronic pain.  You’d love to fix this, and you’ve tried.  But nothing seems to work.  Instead, you’re stuck, reliving the same problems over and over again.  Ugh!

To move forward in a meaningful way, change your focus.  Begin to see yourself as an onion.  Then ask yourself these deep questions:  

  • What negative themes are repeated in your life?  
  • What are your challenges?  
  • What do your relationships look like?  
  • Do your friends treat you with respect and kindness?   
  • Do you schedule daily self-care?  
  • What are your healing goals?  
  • What gives you joy?  
  • What makes you feel fulfilled?

Each question you answer brings awareness with it.  And this awareness peels away another layer of repressed trauma, just like you were peeling an onion.

However, peeling an onion always makes you cry, right?  Awareness does the same thing.  When awareness appears, it immediately peels away a layer of repressed trauma.  That releases a flood of emotion, like sadness, grief, anger, or rage.    

You have to grab a tissue to blot your eyes when peeling an onion, right?  Do the same with awareness.  Use kindness and compassion, like a soothing tissue, until those emotions flow through you and out.  

Keep answering these deep questions, gaining awareness, and peeling away each layer of repressed trauma.  Now you’re no longer stuck, and your life has become brighter, more joyous, and filled with gratitude for how far you’ve come.  This is the healing journey!
                                                      ********
Are you stuck on your healing journey and can’t seem to move forward again?  Do you need help asking and answering those deep questions? If so, I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Is Your Brain Sabotaging You?

8/14/2016

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The brain is an incredible organ.  But sometimes it can block your healing.  That’s because what helps us survive chronic abuse and trauma is not what heals us.

Here’s what I mean.  Your brain is hardwired to protect you.  The part of the brain that takes over when you’re scared is the part that wants to keep you safe.  At the same time, the parts of the brain you use the most are the ones you tend to rely on.     

In the case of chronic abuse and trauma, the safety response is the part of the brain we use the most.  It becomes our “default” setting.  Unfortunately, the part of the brain that keeps you safe from abuse (survival mode) is not the part of the brain that helps you overcome the effects of trauma and abuse (healing mode).

You can see where I’m going with this, right?  

You want to change.  You want to heal.  You’re more than ready.  But your brain isn’t.  It’s been in survival mode for years, and now it’s stuck.

What can you do?  First, gather as much information as you can about healing and the healing journey.  Next, put a strong support system in place.  

Now every time you move out of your comfort zone on your healing journey, you’ll be well-prepared for the resistance you’re sure to encounter from your brain.  It’ll freak every time.  Count on it.  Your brain will sound the alarm and try to convince you things aren’t that bad (yes, they are!), you don’t need to heal (yes, you do!), and you’re doing fine (no, you’re not!).  

Information is vital during this phase.  So is a strong support network.  You need human validation.  You need someone to tell you what to expect and how to break free when your brain panics and holds you hostage with old, toxic coping patterns.

Don’t give up on yourself, okay?  Don’t allow your brain to talk you into backtracking or sabotaging your progress.  Keep moving forward.  Keep gathering information.  Keep reaching out for support.  It’s the only way to heal.

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Do you feel stuck because your brain is sabotaging your healing?  Don’t worry.  I can help you move forward again.  Just email svava@educate4change.com to reserve a 1 hr. coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Discover Your Inner Superpower!

7/9/2016

10 Comments

 
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Child sexual abuse isn’t about sex.  It’s about power.  Because of this, survivors of child abuse often struggle with issues of personal power.  

You were hurt by someone who had authority over you at a time when you were so young you didn’t have enough power to stop the abuse.  You quickly learned your well-being was dependent upon not speaking up.  Child abuse forced you to give up your power, voice, and safety.

This is why many survivors end up in abusive relationships.  Even as adults, they don’t realize they can speak up for themselves, set healthy boundaries, and protect themselves from abusers.  Instead, they continue to suffer in silence.

Yet you do have power.  Lots of it!  To connect with that power, change the false inner belief that you’re powerless.

But what is your power?  It’s the ability to connect with any healthy, nourishing thing that makes you feel good about yourself.  The more you connect with these things, the more power you’ll rediscover within yourself.  

However, let me warn you.  Reconnecting with your power will upset the dynamic of your relationships.  No doubt about it.  Some of your family and friends will be thrilled for you.  Others will be horrified.

Don’t worry.  This happens to everyone.  Yes, I lost a few friends along the way.  I discovered the ones who stuck with me and supported me were the ones who truly loved and valued me.  The others only liked me if I bent over backwards to please them or take care of them.  Good riddance, right?

Today, all my relationships are healthy ones.  I have the power to take care of myself, to speak up when I need to protect a boundary, or to ask for help.  

You have this same power inside you.  Explore the truth of who you are, what makes you happy, what brings you joy, and what gives you peace.  Only when you do these things for yourself will you reconnect with your inner personal power.

Practice this kind of self-care and self-love every day.  Soon you’ll realize the power inside you isn’t just an average power.  It’s a superpower.  And it’s all YOURS!

********
Are you struggling with issues of personal power?  If so, I can help you reconnect with the amazing, superpower inside you.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How Do You Talk To Yourself?

6/25/2016

2 Comments

 
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I’ll never forget the day I became aware of this.  It was a major revelation for me.  Definitely, one of those “aha” moments!

That was the day I realized I talked to myself in the same abusive manner in which I had been treated as a child.  Yikes!  I was unkind, harsh, and super critical of myself in every way.  

It’s true.  I never talked to myself like I talk to the people I love.  With those people, my words were kind, compassionate, gentle, empathetic, and loving.  But that’s not the way I talked to myself.  Not even close.  I was incredibly hard on myself.  I was an abusive perfectionist, constantly beating myself up for the lack of perfection in my life.

Discovering this was like opening the door to a cage I’d been imprisoned in my entire life.  It was exhilarating to realize I could finally break free from this horrible inner critic.  

Yet it was also frightening.  I’d never been taught how to be good to myself.  How do you do that?  Where should I start?  

After years of trial and error, I learned to become my own cheerleader.  If you’re like me and your own worst inner critic, begin today to change that.  Start by choosing a kind word for yourself.  It should be something you've been longing to hear whispered in your ear while you're being gently hugged.  Then choose another kind word.  Then another.

When you’re comfortable with this, make a list of all your good qualities.  Maybe you have a big, compassionate heart.  Maybe you’re a giving, helpful person.  All those qualities should be on your list.  Review this list every day until the revelation of your wonderfulness sinks deeply into your soul.  Then you, too, will become your own cheerleader!

Soon it’ll be impossible for you to say anything abusive to yourself.  You’ll simply love yourself too much.  And that’s the way it should be!
********
Are you your own worst critic?  Does your mind go blank when you try to think of a kind word to say to yourself?  If so, don’t worry.  I can help you with that.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

2 Comments
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