Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

From the Child of a Survivor: How CSA Awareness Will Save My Life

4/24/2018

A blog post by a very special guest, in honor of National Child Abuse Prevention Month!

One of the worst misconceptions of child sexual abuse stems from a line that we all tell ourselves about one issue or another: “It will never happen to me. It will never happen in my own family.” Many believe that since the issue of child sexual abuse isn’t talked about as much as political, religious, or international issues that it isn’t as prevalent. The truth is precisely the opposite. According to Darkness to Light, an organization dedicated to the prevention of child sexual abuse, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will experience sexual abuse before they turn 18. That means in a kindergarten class of 20 children, at least four are likely to be sexually abused before they graduate from high school. (www.stopitnow.org)

If that seems scary to you, it gets worse. A majority of these events are occurring in our friend’s homes and even our own. As reported by Darkness to Light, 30 to 40% of children are abused by family members. And as many as 60% are abused by people the family trusts. Add all that up and you see that only about 10% of abusers are strangers. Do you have goose bumps yet?

So why isn’t this more common knowledge? The answer: It’s because of lines we tell ourselves like the one stated above. “I’m too smart to let it happen to me or my family.” These are lines we tell ourselves about rape, about drunk driving, about drug use, and yes, even about child sexual abuse.

Child sexual abuse is not only closer to home than we think, it can take place IN our homes, sometimes under our very noses.

So how do we keep child sexual abuse out of our homes, out of our own families, and out of our communities altogether?

We ALL need to learn about CSA prevention. It isn’t enough to stop what is currently going on, we have to prevent it from happening in the first place. And when it comes to child sexual abuse, many turn their heads and look the other way. Many people don’t know anything about child sexual abuse, especially young adults. Being a young adult myself, I can tell you that ignorance amongst people my age is scary. And it needs to change.

At this point, you may be thinking, who is this person to be telling me that I am not seeing reality or making bold claims that the world needs to change?

I have never been a victim of child sexual abuse. But I am the 24 year old daughter of someone who was. And through my mother’s healing, prevention work, and being raised to be aware of this issue, I know more on the subject than most adults and parents do. Because of my mother, I can see the signs of abuse in the young adults I come in contact with in my daily life. I look out for the signs in my own friends. I can spot grooming signs a mile away. I am very good at not getting myself into bad situations, especially with men in unfamiliar places.

I once came in contact with the uncle of a friend who raised all of my red flags and when I approached my friend about it, I was told that I was paranoid. I get this a lot. Because it is such a hush-hush topic, and not many 20+ year olds know about the issue as much as I do, I am often met with rolling eyes and responses about being too paranoid or too quick to judge. But it is exactly this response that lets so many get away with abusing others. In our society, especially with women, it is considered impolite to suggest that a person is creepy or to ask them to not be around our children. It is impolite for a woman to say that she doesn’t feel comfortable with a man and often is told by her “girlfriends” that she is crazy and being unreasonable (Yes, this happened to me as well.) But I think we can agree that being “impolite” is worth saving yourself or your children from abuse of any kind. No one should ever be shamed for standing up for themselves or for trusting their gut.

I am here to tell you, the reader, that knowledge of this issue, all the facts and statistics that I know, have helped me to live a more aware and safer life. I see the world for what it truly is. Life is beautiful and filled with love and happiness and good people. But I am also aware of the bad that comes with humanity and because of my mother, I know how to keep that bad out of my life and out of the lives of any future children I may have.

I hope that I persuaded you in some way, to look around you and maybe look inside your own family. Prevention is all about opening your eyes to the truth. Child sexual abuse can happen anywhere, to anyone. You know that cheesy Amazing Grace song, “I once was blind, but now I see?” It may be cliché, but it’s the truth. You can choose to be blind to the reality of this issue, or choose to open your eyes and see the truth. The choice is up to you.

By Elisa Brooks
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Ready to get educated about Child Sexual Abuse and how to keep kids safe? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. Just follow (this link) to Darkness to Light. Also feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the information you need to be comfortable with educating your kids, and the adults in your community! Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.

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You Have To Educate Yourself If You Really Want to Help Children

4/10/2018

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Let me ask you a question.

How would you react if you discovered a trusted relative was sexually abusing a child in your family? Or maybe the abuser is a highly respected, influential person in an organization you support. Would you be outraged? Or would you worry about what people think about your family or that organization?

Unfortunately, when most people have the opportunity to protect a child’s wellbeing in a sexually abusive situation, they choose to preserve the reputation of the family or organization rather than coming to the aid of the child. They choose to do nothing.

I’ve been teaching about Child Sexual Abuse Prevention for over a decade, and I’ve seen this response too often. Just look at the media. The Penn State, Catholic Church, Larry Nasser along with the Olympic Committee, MeToo movement etc. All of these incidents are perfect examples. This is happening all around us. Sad, but true.

And I know what you’re thinking now, that you would be the exception, right? That you’d react differently by speaking up for the child.

But what you don’t realize is you can’t do that effectively until you’ve been educated about child sexual abuse. You’d need to know the facts, as well as the warning signs and how to prevent CSA from happening in the first place.

You may think you already know enough. But you don’t. Unless you’ve attended a CSA seminar or presentation, you don’t have the skills necessary to help a child in a sexually abusive situation.

Concerned adults need to be educated about CSA. It’s important to learn how offenders groom parents before they go after their kids. That’s the only way you’ll know how to act in the best interests of the child. You may never actually see someone abuse a child but I can guarantee you may run into a situation where there is something going on that makes you feel uncomfortable. Without the proper training, you may not feel confident enough to speak up, ask questions, talk to other adult to get the support you need to intervene.

Fortunately, there are caring people like you, who recognize the need for education and preparation. You realize it’s more important to protect the child than the reputation of the family or organization. When you learn how often CSA occurs, you’ll create a safety plan to protect your kids as well.

Once people are educated about CSA and how it fuels a toxic cycle of abuse generation after generation, they’ll understand there aren’t several choices in this kind of situation. There’s only one. And doing nothing is no longer the answer.

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Ready to get educated about Child Sexual Abuse and how to keep kids safe? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. Just follow (this link) to Darkness to Light. Also feel free to call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the information you need to be comfortable with educating your kids, and the adults in your community! Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.

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Educating Your Children Could Save Them

4/2/2018

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In honor of April, which is Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month, and to answer a common question, I decided I'd share this information that has appeared in numerous blog posts of mine. And that question is, "How do I talk to my kids about sexual abuse?" As a survivor, I had to figure out the best way to teach them in order to keep them safe. But I had to teach them differently then I would adults.

I began my healing journey years ago for my kids, not for myself. They didn’t need to be burdened with the emotional pain from my abusive past. They deserved to have a happy childhood and grow up to be confident, empowered adults.

My girls were little then, so I began by reading picture books to them about the body, what it looks like inside and out, and how it functions. I would add to that information by telling them no one is allowed to touch them beneath their bathing suits. It was only okay if I was with them or if we were at the doctor’s office.

When they were old enough for sleepovers with friends, they knew they didn’t have my permission until I was given the chance to get to know the parents first. I needed important information from those parents including:

Where are the girls going to sleep?
Are there older kids in the house?
Are the parents planning to leave at any point?
What time is bedtime?
What movies are they watching?
What foods are they eating?
What games are they going to play?
If there are guns in the house, are they locked up?
What drugs are in the medicine cabinets?
Can my child use the house phone if she wants to come home?

To that last point, I would actually tell the adults that they could not say no to my child if she wanted to use their phone to call home and that my girls did not need to explain why! I would say this in front of my child and the adult, so everyone was on the same page.

When my girls were teens, they knew they didn’t have my permission to hang out with their friends until they could tell me who they would be with, when they would be home, and if any adults would be present. If they couldn’t answer some of those questions, it made them wonder whether or not this would be a safe situation. In that case, they usually decided to pass on that particular activity.

My girls, and then eventually my son, all came to learn that politeness was NEVER a priority over safety. If they feel uncomfortable at all, even if they can't explain it, I have always given them permission to speak up, walk away, and a safe space to tell me and their father so that the situation can be prevented from happening again.

Today, there is nothing my kids and I can't talk about. My eldest daughter even went on to write an blog post for me a few years ago, explaining why she is so appreciative of being raised with the truth of CSA, however sad or scary that facts may be. And the facts are that if 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before they turn 18, we have a lot of work to do as parents and adults to save future children from going through what happened to us or to loved ones. You can read her blog here: https://www.educate4change.com/blog1/child-sexual-abuse-right-under-our-noses

Even though it might make you uncomfortable to talk about, educating your children could literally save them from abuse, even when they are adults. Your child's safety is more important than the shyness or discomfort you may feel around the topic of sex, abuse, and the body. Trust me, it was worth it every time my child came to me with questions, concerns, or fear, because that kept them from taking a step towards the danger, instead of turning around and choosing safety.

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Ready to educate your kids? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the information you need to be comfortable with educating your kids, no matter how old they are! Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.

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What The Case of Larry Nassar Should Teach Us About Preventing CSA

1/31/2018

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Photo Credit: Anthony Lanzilote/Getty Images

Let's talk about what happened last week, with the case of Larry Nassar. What can we take away from this experience? What did you learn? What can you do to ensure something like this does not happen in your community?

The sad part about Larry Nassar is that this is not an isolated event. The circumstance and the people that played a role in the abuse over such a long period of time shows that where there are children, where there is prestige, and where someone is placed in authority over children and their success, there is abuse. There are people in power all over our country and even your community that are abusing children at the rate that he did. How do we know? The statistics tell us this. https://www.d2l.org/the-issue/statistics/

Let's sum up the events.

After one week of deliberation and hearing survivor testimonies, Larry Nassar, the former USA sports physician treating America's top female Olympic gymnasts, was sentenced to 175 years in prison for over two decades of sexually abusing over 150 women and girls.

The highlight of the week was the powerful support the judge Rosemarie Aquilina showed to each of the victims that chose to step forward and share their story in a public way. The judge has received criticism from the legal community for stepping in the role of an advocate when her role is a judge, but as a survivor I can only imagine the powerful impact her voice and actions had on the victims. After each of them spoke, she thanked them for their courage and strength and invited them to see that this was just the beginning of them living a strong empowered life, that their past does not have to define them, and that their story is just beginning. They are not victims but survivors. The person that hurt them is going to remain locked behind bars for the rest of his life but that their life was just starting and full of possibility and hope.

I have heard outrage and confusion in the media and from my community. How could this possibly have happened? Someone must have known! Why did these girls not tell anyone?

This case is not an isolated event. If you have looked at the statistics then you can see that 90% of children are abused by someone they know and trust, and most victims never tell anyone. This puts the responsibility of keeping kids safe on adults. On all of us. As responsible caring parents and adults, we need to understand and actively practice the steps we can to minimize the risk and educate other adults in our community to join us to create a safer and more aware community for all children and the loving adults that care and work with our kids.

Most parents don't want to consider the possibility that something like this could happen to their child. But only by talking to our children age appropriately about private parts, safe touch, secrets, and boundaries, do we give our kids the knowledge and the practice to communicate in a direct way to safe people if someone does something to them that is outside of what you have taught and modeled to them.

Open conversation does not scare your child. It actually gives you child comfort, safety and they feel closer to you. When you show them how to talk openly about anything or anyone that makes them feel uncomfortable, you are helping them to learn to trust themselves, better navigate boundaries, and speak up and ask for help if they need it.

Children struggle because they are getting bombarded with very confusing messages from the media and sometimes their peers. You, as their caregiver, need to be their go-to person. But they might think you are uncomfortable talking about it if you don't start the conversation first.

So how can this happen? How can we step up and do our part to ensure the safety of our children and our communities? I would like to offer the 5 steps that I have been teaching on behalf of Darkness to Light for almost 15 years now. https://www.d2l.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/5-Steps-to-Protecting-Our-Kids-2017.pdf

Steps to Protecting Our Kids -
Step 1: Learn the Facts
Step 2: Minimize Opportunity
Step 3:Talk About It
Step 4: Recognize the Signs
Step 5: React Responsibly

If, after reading through the steps, you are still uncomfortable or uncertain about how you would start to talk about this with others, you can take the Darkness to Light Steward of Children Child Sexual Abuse Prevention training. It is a 2 hour class, either online or in person. https://www.d2l.org/education/stewards-of-children/ What this class will do is teach you the steps and give you the language and questions that you can use as you start to talk to others in your community about children's safety. It also gives you suggestions that you can take to your school or youth serving organization to better protect the kids there.

The last piece of advice I want to offer and suggest to you is to remember that how we respond to these cases in the media is important. Chances are that there are adults or children around you that have not disclosed abuse. Your disbelief and doubt that this could happen can further silence people around you, even children, that perhaps are waiting for the right time to ask for help.

I want to encourage all of us to use this opportunity to educate ourselves and others. We do that by becoming informed and learn what steps we can take and at the same time, we are opening the door for victims to feel safe to come forward to ask for help if they have doubt of not being believed.

Surviving abuse is not the hardest part. Not being able to talk about it and get the help we need to start our healing journey after the abuse is the hardest part. That is the deepest source of pain for most survivors. To not to be believed, not feel heard, and not have a safe place to tell the truth.

So as hard as these news have been on all of us, and I know many survivors that are feeling very overwhelmed by all of it, we can and I hope that we each choose to do something that creates movement and change in our lives. Something that gives us power. Education, knowledge, and support is what brings us together and we are then more likely to take courageous action.

Child sexual abuse thrives in silence and secrecy. It also thrives in fear. We don't have to live in fear anymore. We can learn. We can change. We can choose what gives us the courage to change.

Please use your power to create change. For you. For the survivors. For all of us. Together we can stop the cycle of abuse in our communities.

If you want to read more about the Larry Nassar story, use the links below:

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-heffernan-larry-nassar-20180126-story.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/24/sports/rachael-denhollander-nassar-gymnastics.html
http://time.com/5020885/aly-raisman-sexual-abuse-usa-gymnastics-doctor-larry-nassar/
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2018/jan/24/victim-impact-statements-against-larry-nassar-i-thought-i-was-going-to-die
https://www.npr.org/2018/01/28/581397061/how-larry-nassars-abuse-went-on-for-so-long
https://www.usnews.com/opinion/thomas-jefferson-street/articles/2018-01-25/how-did-larry-nassar-get-away-with-molesting-girls-in-gymnastics-for-years
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/25/sports/larry-nassar-gymnastics-abuse.html

Want to make sure your kids are safe? Want to educate your community about child sexual abuse prevention? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to increase safety for your family & make a difference in your community now. Reserve your spot NOW!

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Be Your Own Hero By Breaking the Silence

12/11/2017

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Last week, Times Magazine revealed that their choice for person of the year for 2017 was the silence breakers, the courageous women that over the last few months broke the silence and disclosed abuse, harassment, and assault from men in very powerful public positions. For so many of my colleagues and survivors, this is not new news but it is finally getting the much needed attention and outrage we need for meaningful change to happen.

I think the decision and timing of this news is exactly what was needed for the #MeToo movement. I wanted to share some thoughts in this blog that I also shared on social media the day of this announcement.

I went back and listened to a short video interview with Tarana Burke the founder of the #MeToo hashtag. Her intention when she started using it a few years back was as a response to sexual violence, to encourage all survivors to find their journey towards healing. To let other survivors know their story matters, they are not alone, and to support one another with empathy and kindness.

No matter how public or private your #MeToo declaration was, your story matters. All victims matter. It is time that we continue with the dialog of how to change the paradigm around the issue of abuse and assault. We need courageous people to support each other to do the right thing. Not just one time but over and over. Be a little relentless. That is what it is going to take.

What does that mean? Tarana shared in her video that what is going on is not just an event, but a movement. Just like the healing journey is not just one session, one time with a trusted friend where you share the abuse you suffered. Healing takes commitment, commitment to ourselves that no matter what happened, we need to focus on our strengths and be gentle with ourselves as we create daily practices of residence and wellness to be able to move forward and restore our body, mind and spirit, for the rest of our lives.

That is the kind of relentless energy we need for this movement. We need to normalize the conversation about abuse and trauma. It is taking place all over this country at alarming rates, but until we feel comfortable talking about it openly and with courage, we aren't going to support the millions of victims in this country to come forward because of the fear that speaking up will welcome retaliation and harm to themselves or their families.

There are many reasons why victims of abuse or sexual assault don't disclose or report their abuse. Most do not because they fear that they will not be believed. Many fear ridicule from friends and family. Some have been threatened and some don't even know that what is happing to them is abuse, especially in the case of children, if no one has educated them about their boundaries, safe touch, and the ability to say "no" to anyone that makes them feel uncomfortable. Parents need to empower children with a healthy dialog about rules, consent, and relationships and teach them that no matter who the person is that they are uncomfortable with, whether teacher, coach, friend, or even family member, you will always believe them.

In 2004, after about 10 year of healing, I began telling my story in public, sharing the impact of growing up in a home where I was physically and sexual abused. I'll never forget that "coming out" period. It was painful and there were times when I thought I’d collapse beneath the overwhelming shame I felt inside. I was terrified of what people would think of me if they knew the truth about the abuse I’d suffered as a little girl. For a long time I felt responsible for the abuse, that somehow it was my fault. I now know it was never my fault.

But through the grace of God, I was given the strength and the willingness to push through my fears. Sometimes I think it's because I'm stubborn But I also knew what was at stake. I had finally realized no one was coming to save me...I had to save myself. I was a mom now and I wanted to heal for my child. I had to learn how to restore my broken heart and wounded soul. And no one could do it for me.

As I told my story, I broke the silence and revealed secrets that weren't my secrets to keep. The shame began to lessen. The more openly I talked about it, the lighter and more hopeful I felt. I had so many people reaching out to me, sharing their story. I finally knew I was not alone.

The worst part about my childhood was not the abuse. It was the fact that I had no one to talk to about it, and no one to ask for help. There was no one to support or validate me. Not one person!

After 12 years of public speaking about the issue of child sexual abuse, this experience serves as the foundation for the work I do now. As an abuse survivor coach and support group facilitator, I can listen to the stories of survivors all day long, because I know how important it is to be heard. I know that sounds almost too simple but for an abuse survivor, it makes all the difference. It gives us hope for a brighter future. I model for them how they should be listened to and treated by any caring adult that they find the courage to share their story with.

So when abuse survivors tell you their story, listen with your heart, let them know you hear them, and acknowledge the truth of the injustice. Let them know they can count on you to listen. Encourage them to do whatever it takes to heal, restore, and live a wholehearted life. Healing is possible and they need to know that. There is hope!

If you are reading this and feeling like you don’t know how to be a part of the movement, where to start, or you are looking for a safe place to tell your story, then I'm here to tell you, I can help.

You need support. We all need support. We are all called to do something we have not done before. It feels uncomfortable because you don’t know if you will offend someone just by standing up for a child and another human being. But you got this. The stakes are high. I have offended a few adults along the way but I have protected countless children by doing so. Find your voice no matter how small in the beginning.

Sexual assault and sexual abuse prevention education works! It is actually empowerment training giving you the tools to change your behavior and start to take action. It is time we respect each person we encounter and lead with kindness, curiosity, and courage. Get the education you need to move out of fear and take action. Taking action is the antidote to fear.

Waking up to this news last week made my day. It really made my year! I think we will look back at this year in our history and realize that though it was a hard year, some big breakthrough occurred because of it. There is always a silver lining… I do believe that.

So to all of you silence breakers, Thank You! We did it! Now let´s use this momentum and let’s keep going.

If you are looking for support, here is a link to a closed Facebook group for peer support for survivors of abuse or trauma.
If you are interested in prevention education, please visit d2l.org

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Want to be a part of the movement? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life or to be a part of a movement. Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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It’s Time to Reclaim Your Power!

5/1/2017

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You’re not powerless. You might think you are, but you’re not. In fact, you’re actually quite powerful.

Yes, the person who abused you was probably someone you knew and trusted. But that doesn’t make the abuse your fault. You’re not what happened to you. You’re the same wonderful, awesome, powerful person you were before the abuse. And you always have been.

But if that’s the truth (and it is), then why have you always felt powerless?

Because child sexual abuse is one of those topics our society prefers not to talk about. And not talking about it is the problem. It makes CSA much worse for everyone. The victims feel powerless, because they don’t know what to do about the horrible thing that happened to them. The safe adults around them could have helped. But they didn’t, because they never received CSA prevention education. When no one talks about CSA, everyone loses.

During my keynote speech this month at ABC House, a children’s advocacy center in Oregon, I said I only began to live a powerful life when I discovered how powerful it felt to tell my story. This is the kind of information children, parents, and CSA survivors in our communities are missing. When no one talks about CSA, no one learns how to prevent or heal from it.

Change has to start with us. Survivors are the ones who must begin the dialogue about CSA and how to prevent it. No one else is going to do it.

A few weeks ago, I was interviewed by Matt at “Surviving My Past” (Link). In this interview, we discussed Darkness to Light, the five steps to protecting kids, and the importance of talking about CSA.

It’s time to reclaim your power, my friends. And you do that by telling your story.

When you do, the kids, parents, and CSA survivors in your community will thank you for it. They need what you have to offer. They need to see your power. They need to know they have the power to prevent CSA or to heal from it.

They need you and your story. Are you ready to reclaim your power?

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Are you struggling to recover from child abuse or trauma in your past? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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What Does a Children’s Advocacy Center Do?

4/10/2017

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As you know, April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. On April 6, I was a keynote speaker at a fundraiser for a Children’s Advocacy Center in Oregon.

This was the second time I‘d been asked to speak at a fundraiser for a Children’s Advocacy Center, and I was truly honored to help in this way. They expected 400 people, and I talked about my sexually abusive childhood and the evolution of my healing journey.

I never appreciated the role of a Children’s Advocacy Center, until I worked as an advocate in Iceland years ago. That’s when I learned about the important services it provides to children in need and their families.

This is crucial for children, who have been sexually abused. When someone suspects child sexual abuse and files a report, the child is brought to a Children’s Advocacy Center for child-friendly interviewing by a specialist. Afterwards, a copy of the child’s recorded interview is given to every professional who needs to hear it.

This greatly minimizes the stressful impact an investigation has on the child. Before Children’s Advocacy Centers, the child had to testify over and over again to every person involved in the investigation. It was a very traumatic experience.

When I was a child, there were no Children’s Advocacy Centers to go to for help. Now they’re in almost every community. The last time I checked, there were 822 of these centers across the country. You can find your local Children’s Advocacy Center at the national website: http://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org

A Children’s Advocacy Center is important for you, too. Here’s the reason:

If you suspect child abuse, your first step should be to contact your local Children’s Advocacy Center.
These professionals will help you determine if your suspicion is correct or just normal childhood behavior.
If it is abuse, the center will assist you in taking the next step, which will be to call the police or protective services.

The work of your local Children’s Advocacy Center is invaluable. They not only educate your community about child abuse prevention but also offer services to help children and their families recover from abuse.

If what I’ve said in this blog post inspires you to join the prevention movement, consider donating or volunteering at your local center. They need all the help they can get, and they need it now!
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Are you a survivor of child abuse? Are you struggling with the effects of this kind of trauma? I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Why It’s So Hard to Talk About Child Abuse

4/3/2017

4 Comments

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Every year at this time I’m reminded of when I began educating people about how to prevent child sexual abuse.

Adults have a hard time talking about child abuse, especially child sexual abuse. That’s because not only is CSA a horrific violation of an innocent child’s trust but it’s also about sex. In our society, sex is not a topic most adults feel comfortable talking about in public.

When I decided to educate adults about CSA twelve years ago, I had no idea how I was going to accomplish this task. I just knew I would not have suffered in silence for so long as a child if the adults in my life had known how to talk openly about CSA.

Eventually, I became involved with Darkness to Light, which gave me the tools I needed to pursue my goal. I received permission to translate the D2L information booklet into Icelandic, and I distributed a copy to every home in Iceland. This is why I cofounded NGO in Iceland and how my public speaking career began. That booklet generated lots of opportunities to speak about CSA to concerned adults.

Yet, like I said, CSA is an uncomfortable topic for most adults. So how do I teach them to overcome their discomfort? Here’s what I do:

I never present the grim statistics about CSA without giving them the tools they need to cope with this horrifying information.
I offer plenty of hope, because we can make a difference one person at a time.
I show them how to talk about CSA and give them age-appropriate language.
I stress the benefits of CSA education: 1.) the other parents in your community will know you’re watching out for their kids too; 2.) abused children will feel safe talking to you about it; 3.) adult survivors will be encouraged to seek healing.

If you’d like to offer this kind of hope to the adults and children in your community, please visit www.d2l.org for more information about a Darkness to Light Stewards of Children training session near you. Or you can take this evidence-based training online at the D2L website.

You’ll never regret becoming educated about CSA. It gives you the tools you’ll need to save a child from years of pain, isolation, and shame. And that alone is priceless!

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Are you a survivor of child abuse? Are you struggling with the effects of this kind of trauma? I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

4 Comments

Talking To Your Kids About Child Sexual Abuse

4/24/2016

2 Comments

As I’ve said before, I began my healing journey years ago for my kids, not for myself. They didn’t need to be burdened with the emotional pain from my abusive past. They deserved to have a happy childhood and grow up to be confident, empowered adults.

My girls were little then, so I began by reading picture books to them about the body, what it looks like inside and out, and how it functions. I would add to that information by telling them no one is allowed to touch them beneath their bathing suits. It was only okay if I were with them, and if we were at the doctor’s office.

When they were old enough for sleepovers with friends, they knew they didn’t have my permission until I was given the chance to get to know the parents first. I needed important information from those parents like:

Where are the girls going to sleep?
Are older kids in the house?
Are the parents planning to leave at any point?
What time is bedtime?
What movies are they watching?
What foods are they eating?
What games are they going to play?
If there are guns in the house, are they locked up?
What drugs are in their medicine cabinets?
Can my child use the house phone if she wants to come home?
Actually, I told the adults that they could not say no to my child if she wanted to use their phone to call home, and that they did not need to explain why! I would say this in front of my child and the adult, so everyone was on the same page.

When my girls were teens, they knew they didn’t have my permission to hang out with their friends until they could tell me who they would be with, when they would be home, and if any adults would be present. If they couldn’t answer some of those questions, it made them wonder whether or not this would be a safe situation. In that case, they usually decided to pass on that particular activity.

Today, my girls are out of high school, and my son is an adolescent. There isn’t anything we can't talk about. In fact, my daughter wrote an article a few years ago that shows you exactly what she thinks about the way I educated them on the subject of child sexual abuse and the effect it has had on her. Here’s the link:

http://www.educate4change.com/blog1/child-sexual-abuse-right-under-our-noses

I am so proud of her and grateful that I took the time to educate them. You can educate your kids like this, as well. It’s never too soon to start!

If you missed the FREE 90 min webinar on How to Keep your Kids Safe, here is the link:
Recording URL: http://www.anymeeting.com/SvavaBrooks/E952D680894D3E

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Are you struggling with your healing journey? I can help you take that next step. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Trusting Yourself, Trusting God

3/13/2016

6 Comments

Lately, I’ve realized trusting God isn’t one big goal you finally achieve, and then you’re done. Instead, just when you think you trust God 100%, he reveals a bunch of small areas in which you should trust him, but you don’t. Yikes!

It's shocking, really, because you thought you trusted completely. However, trusting God is a lifelong process. Human nature is very complex in areas of trust, especially if you were an abused child. We think we already know this, but we don't.

The same is true of your healing journey. Trusting yourself doesn’t happen all at once. It goes through stages. This is because our childhood was shaped by distrust, trauma, and betrayal. So we have to teach ourselves how to trust. It takes a while.

Trust is about relationships: a relationship with yourself, a relationship with the world, a relationship with other people, and a relationship with God. Trusting yourself leads to trusting God. Eventually, you begin to feel like everything is going to work out, even the aspects of your life you can’t control. You get to the point where you trust yourself enough to let go of those things, so you can trust in God’s plan for your life.

I was reminded of that last week when I drove across Oregon to provide facilitator training for Darkness to Light. I had originally turned this invitation down because my schedule is just too full right now. However, when I did, I felt a prompting in my spirit. A few weeks later the invitation was offered again. This time I accepted.

The minute I arrived, I knew in my spirit I was supposed to be there. That’s all I needed to know. God has been teaching me to listen to those promptings in my spirit and to follow his guidance.

Slowly, I’m learning that trusting God is much like trusting yourself. The big difference is trusting God is a lifelong process. It’s like reading a book with 10,000 pages in it, and every page is a small area of trust. What a fun adventure, right? I think so!

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Are you struggling with your healing journey? I can help you take that next step. Just follow (this link) to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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<<Previous

From the Child of a Survivor: How CSA Awareness Will Save My Life

You Have To Educate Yourself If You Really Want to Help Children

Educating Your Children Could Save Them

What The Case of Larry Nassar Should Teach Us About Preventing CSA

Be Your Own Hero By Breaking the Silence

It’s Time to Reclaim Your Power!

What Does a Children’s Advocacy Center Do?

Why It’s So Hard to Talk About Child Abuse

Talking To Your Kids About Child Sexual Abuse

Trusting Yourself, Trusting God

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