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Manifesting Your Healing Goals for 2018

1/2/2018

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Happy New Year!   

Now that January is here, you’ve probably had a chance to review your progress in 2017. I want to celebrate you for your commitment to your healing. I know it can feel like two steps forward and one step back sometimes. So don’t just focus on what you didn't accomplish. That's not important. The only thing that matters is what you did accomplish. I know you had several victories in 2017 and I hope you celebrated them. If not, do that now. You deserve it!

Did you set a healing goal for 2018? 

It’s easy for abuse survivors to forget change is a growth process and part of healing is to learn to trust the process. 

Survivors often ask me if there’s a way to speed up the healing process. The fact that the healing journey takes so long can be frustrating, I know. Especially when you’re exhausted from struggling with the aftereffects of child sexual abuse, it can feel hard to believe sometimes that you too can reach those goals. You’re ready to change. You’re ready to heal. And you want it NOW! But ups and downs are a part of it. Learn to appreciate the yearly goals you reach, as well as the bumps in the road along the way. Each one appeared to teach you an important lesson that will lead you to future success.

If you haven't had a chance to write down your goals for 2018, I encourage you to do that today. Asking and intending for good things to happen is the quickest way for them to manifest.  

If there are too many and you feel overwhelmed, focus on just one thing. What is the most important goal you want to accomplish in 2018?  

It can be anything. What I have learned over the years is that the good stuff, like incorporating a healthy habit or learning a new skill, develops slowly over time. That’s because good changes occur in stages.
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Here’s what I mean. Change is initially a mental exercise, so the first stage is governed by willpower and excitement. In the second stage, you create a routine to support this new change, which helps you deal with emotional resistance. By the time you progress to the third stage, this new change has become a lifestyle or a new area of skill or strength. But that only happens after you confront and resolve each area of resistance you encounter in the second stage. You must look those fears in the eye, assure your inner child he/she is safe, and convince this child the new change is good, that he/she is is worthy of reaching that goal. Each one of us faces doubt and uncertainty on the way.  Only then can you make peace with the resistance and work through it each time you set a new goal or are making changes.

There’s no way around it. This entire process takes time. I suggest to my clients to create a long term plan and focus on one thing for the year. It may not take you a whole year to reach the goal, but if you’ve decided to do something kind for yourself every day for self-care, it helps to create a plan to manifest it. Then it’s just a matter of working on your plan until it becomes a new habit. 

You deserve everything GOOD in life. But it all starts with a goal, then a step by step plan, and then finding someone to support you along the way. Let 2018 be the year you manifest your most important goal. You can do this. Go for it! I hope you share it with us in the comments below. I believe in you.

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Confused about setting a healing goal for 2018? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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The 6 Stages of Starting Positive, Healthy Habits

11/13/2017

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One of my greatest passions is learning new things. I am always bookmarking pages, with a list of books I want to read and courses to explore. I know this passion has served me well and has been very helpful on the healing journey. But it can also be distracting or something we use to keep us distracted. Have you ever noticed that? 

What I have learned from experience is to focus only on integrating or changing one habit at a time and only signing up for one program at a time. Humans have great intention but the truth is, we all struggle with change and find ourselves resisting it in the beginning.

I am attending a weekly class on resilience right now because I am interested in deepening my understanding, for myself and my clients, of how to better navigate how our bodies respond during stress and how to bring ourselves back to balance. It is such an important skill to learn, especially for survivors of trauma. 

The interesting part of learning about change is that even when it is good for you and the thing you KNOW you want, you still have to go through the stages of behavior change.  So I appreciated the reminder in my class and have the feeling that a few of you could use a reminder also. 

There are six stages we all go through to change our behavior and to create new habits. They are: 

1. Not ready. You may not even be aware that something needs changing or have any interest in making a change. This could also be because you don't have the information you need to feel safe about how to change. 

2. Getting ready. You may have awareness around something needing changing and even feel that you are setting intention to change, or have been thinking about it, but still not sure exactly when to start.  

3. Ready. Your intention is to make a change and you have taken some steps towards that change.
 
4. Action. You are actively working on this change and have been for about six months. 

5. Maintenance. You have created a new habit and it has become part of your routine. You recognize the possibility of relapse and are actively aware to prevent it. 

6. Relapse. Relapse happens. It is part of the process. The key is to not stop there. You make sure you go to the earlier stage and keep going. 

It was great to have a dialog about these stages in my class and to also reflect on the fact that the things that I have changed took me about 12 months or more to change.

This year my goal was to meditate consistently. To help me with this goal, I signed up for a 30 day mediation challenge. It was a wonderful way to start. For about 5 months, I meditated every single day. Then I was traveling for a few weeks and I did miss a few days. I noticed that the days I did meditate, I felt more grounded and centered.  When I got back, I found my way back to the routine that works very well for me, which includes my daily meditation practice. I missed my routine and felt happy to be in it once more.

The key was  to not to be hard on myself. To notice my inner critic when I did not keep up with my goal, to stop the old critical voice of, "see you will never be able to change,"  and use my self compassion practice to talk to myself the same way that I support my friends and my clients. 

Judging yourself does not help. Learn to understand the 6 stages and remember to practice self compassion. Make it a long term goal, a 1 or 2 year goal. Set yourself up for success but always keep in mind that we are more likely to relapse or stop doing the new behavior, no matter how good it it for us, if we are not actively being mindful about it. 


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Do you struggle with change? Not sure how to create a long term plan for your healing?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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How to Reach Any Goal You Set!

6/26/2017

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In January, I told you about my healing goals for 2017.  Well, it’s June, and we’re six months into the year.  Time to assess my progress!


This has been a very busy year for my Abuse Survivor Coaching business, as well as my TRE sessions.  Lots of new clients for both.  However, even though I’ve made progress with my 2017 goals, life has a way of interrupting.  Tweaks are definitely necessary.


One of my goals was to meditate every day.  I’ve been meditating for years, but not on a daily basis.  I wanted to change that in order to reap the full benefits of meditation: a calm mind, a peaceful body, and a joyous presence.


To help me achieve this goal, I joined a 21-day meditation challenge with a friend.  It worked!  Since January, I’ve meditated every day of the week, and I love the benefits.


Another goal included a more intense workout plan.  This one has been harder to achieve.  To help me reach this goal, I joined my girls in January for a 12-week workout challenge.  It went really well at first.  We made measurable progress and had lots of fun.


But then I was sidelined with unexpected obstacles and setbacks.  For example, I pulled a muscle.  Then I was sick a few times.  I also travelled more than usual.  Now it’s June, and I obviously need to reassess my 2017 workout plan.  


So that’s what I did.  This time I’m being kinder to myself and my body.  I’ve set smaller, more realistic monthly goals, which are divided into manageable weekly steps.  I’m still committed to my 2017 workout goal.  But I realize I’m not 20 years old anymore (lol), and I run a busy business.  These tweaks will help me reach my goal one day, one week, and one month at a time.  


How about you?  How are your 2017 goals coming along?  Have you done a 6-month assessment yet?


If you’ve also encountered setbacks this year, reach out for support.  Don’t give up on your goals.  Change is really hard sometimes.  But with consistent, small steps you’ll reach your goals.


Hey, if I can do it, so can you, right?  Go for it!  
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Are you and your spouse struggling with your relationship?  Does peace in your family seem like an impossible goal?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY! 


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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How to Find Your Purpose on Earth

11/28/2016

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What’s the thing that makes you the happiest in life?  What makes your heart sing?  What makes you come alive?

Whatever it is, that’s your true purpose on earth!!

The healing journey is all about rediscovering and embracing your authentic self, which is the real YOU.  But reconnecting with your authentic self isn’t easy for us.  That’s because the most damaging aspect of child abuse is the way it distorts reality.

Here’s what I mean.  Infants spend nine months in the womb, intimately connected in every way to their mothers.  When we’re born, we learn how to trust our caregivers to nurture, love, and protect us.

Abused children don’t receive that from their caregivers.  This lack of nurturing creates unnecessary struggle in our lives.  We begin to think we’re the problem.  I mean, this must be true, or it wouldn’t be so hard to get our basic needs met by our caregivers, right?  

Wrong.

Struggle keeps us trapped in “Survival Mode.”  Life becomes all about obtaining the basics: safety, food, and sleep.  It prevents us from progressing to the next stage in our emotional development.  We never move beyond the basics of survival to explore who we are and our unique purpose in life.

That’s why the healing journey is so important.  It gives us the chance to grow up naturally and normally.  As adults, we become our own caregivers, nurturing and supporting ourselves through the next stage in our emotional development.

To do this, listen to your heart.  Then act on its response to these questions:

  • Who am I?
  • What makes me feel alive?
  • What do I love to do?
  • What makes my heart sing?

The answer to these questions is your gift to the world.  It’s your true purpose for being here.

The world needs more people courageous enough to honor their authentic self.  These people show us how to “live” our unique purpose on earth, because that’s exactly what they’re doing every day.  

Now you can, too.  How exciting!!  
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Is it difficult for you to hear what your heart is telling you?  Are you having a hard time making the transition from Survival Mode to exploring who you truly are and your unique purpose on earth?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Why Is It Taking So Long To Heal? Ugh!!

6/5/2016

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Survivors often ask me if there’s a way to speed up the healing process.  The fact that the healing journey takes so long can be frustrating, I know.  Especially when you’re exhausted from struggling with the aftereffects of child sexual abuse.  You’re ready to change.  You’re ready to heal.  And you want it NOW!!

I’ve been there.  Trust me.  I used to feel the same way, and I still get impatient from time to time.  However, it’s important to understand the need for “speed” is part of your trauma pattern.  It’s a coping skill you know all too well as a result of the abuse.  

A sense of urgency is part of the “fight or flight” survival response.  It’s how your brain responds to change or a threat.  This is a normal, healthy response.  But, in your case, it became chronic and toxic due to the abuse you endured as a child.  Because of that, when something is uncomfortable (even a good change), you want to push through it quickly.

What I have learned over the years is the good stuff, like incorporating a healthy habit, develops slowly over time.  That’s because good changes occur in stages.

Here’s what I mean.  Change is initially a mental exercise, so the first stage is governed by willpower and excitement.  In the second stage, you create a routine to support this new change, which helps you deal with emotional resistance.

By the time you progress to the third stage, this new change has become a lifestyle.  But that only happens after you confront and resolve each area of resistance you encounter in the second stage.  You must look those fears in the eye, assure your inner child he/she is safe, and convince this child the new change is good.  Only then can you make peace with the resistance and work through it.

See?  There’s no way around it.  This entire process takes time.  You can’t fast-forward through the second stage by leaping from the first stage to the third.  That’s not how it works.  Yes, big changes take months or years.  But that’s the beauty of living in the moment.  Practice mindfulness during this process.  Celebrate each healing stage.  It’s worth it, and so are you!!
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Are you struggling with a sense of urgency and impatience on your healing journey?  I can help you resolve these issues and take the next step.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Successfully Tackle Any Change!

5/1/2016

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I continue to thrive on my healing journey, because I’m incredibly curious about how humans heal and restore.  I’m always reading from a list of books I keep on my Amazon Wishlist about change, empowerment, and trauma.

I often hear we should feed our minds 10-30 minutes of good information every day.  How do I do this?  I work it into my day.  I listen to an inspiring audiobook when I go for my run.  At night, I read a few pages before I fall asleep.  

You can successfully tackle any change if the action is repetitive.  It has to become a habit before it can feel like a normal part of your life.  Consistent effort during the first four weeks is the key.

For example, this year I’ve developed the habit of running.  This was a significant change for me, and I really struggled with it at first.  I thought it was too late in life for me to become a runner.  I thought I was too old for this kind of rigorous exercise.  But then I began to notice all the women I admire are in great shape.  Physical exercise is a top priority for them.  

Hey, if they can do it, so can I, right?

I began slowly by walking.  Soon I was walking longer and longer distances.  Then I increased the speed of my walks.  One day I knew I could run.  So I did.  Now I run every week with my husband, who has been running for years.

Looking back, I can see old toxic beliefs were what stopped me for so long.  But no more.  My next goal is to participate in a half marathon!  

Don’t give up on yourself.  You can tackle any change, big or small, one slow step at a time.  It just takes a plan, self-compassion, consistent effort, and support.

What change would you like to make in your life today?  Tell me about it.  If you need support, I’m here for you.  Always!

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Are you struggling with your healing journey?  I can help you take that next step.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Create a “Treasure Map” to Manifest Your 2016 Goals!

2/8/2016

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Intent is the key to manifestation.  It’s where you begin.  To manifest my 2016 goals and dreams, I did something different this year.  I personalized my journal with my very own "treasure map.”  

Usually people hang a treasure map on the wall.  But I decided to make my journal cover into one this year.  What fun!

Never heard of a treasure map?  That's where you gather words, pictures, and any flat items that represent your intent (goals) and then glue or tape them in a collage on a piece of cardboard.  When you finish, you hang it someplace where you’ll see it every day.  The power of making your goals visual is amazing.  It’s a wonderful form of constant reinforcement.  

Since I’m always journaling, the cover was perfect for a treasure map.  When I finished, I asked the Universe (God) to help me manifest these goals.  That set my intent in motion.  

You can also create a treasure map to use year after year.  There are several ways to do that.  The cool thing about this kind of treasure map is every time you manifest all your goals, you can toss the old collage and create a new one on the same board or frame.  Here are some suggestions:

  1. Buy a Plexiglas box frame.  Lift off the cover and create a collage of images and words that represent the goals you’d like to manifest.  Tape them to the surface.  Replace the cover, and it’s ready to hang on the wall.
  2. Use a cork bulletin board and pin images and words to it to manifest your goals.
  3. Buy a pretty fabric bulletin board that uses a grid of ribbons to hold images and clippings in place.

As you can see, treasure maps are great fun.  I created my journal cover with my girls early in January.  And guess what?  I've already reached one of my goals. Yay!!!!

Enjoy creating your own treasure map.  Soon you’ll see what I mean.  They work!

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Can’t figure out what to put on your treasure map or how to manifest your 2016 goals?  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you reach your goals.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
Ph: 619-889-6366  
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