So many people could diagnose me. So many people could tell me what was wrong with me. But few could actually help me heal. It got to be very frustrating and I was discouraged.
Now I know why. Because my healing wasn’t the task of these other people. It was my job. I had to take all the information I had gathered about recovering from child abuse and trauma and move that knowledge from my head to my heart.
In other words, I had to do the tough, messy work of applying it to my own life. But what I was still searching for, even after I gathered the steps, was finding someone to somehow model these steps for me. To engage with me in a way that demonstrated these steps in action.
Here are the seven steps child abuse and trauma survivors need to take in order to heal. If you want to start to feel a shift in your healing, start to apply them every day.
- Establish Safety. Figure out what makes you feel safe. This is your first priority.
- Develop Courage. Eventually, your willingness to heal will develop into courage, as you take more and more healthy risks.
- Create a Mindfulness Practice. Connecting with your body is essential for healing. As abused children, we learned the toxic skill of disconnection. Mindfulness will help you reconnect.
- Express Your Emotions. Learn how to identify, listen to, feel, and express your emotions in a healthy way. All of them: the good, the bad, and the ugly!
- Change Your Negative Beliefs. You created these toxic beliefs as a way to survive an abusive childhood. But you’re an adult now. Change your story (beliefs) to what benefits your adult life.
- Practice Self-Care, Self-Love, and Self-Compassion. Put yourself first on your To-Do list. Every day, find a way to lovingly care for and celebrate yourself.
- Build a Support System. You can’t do this alone. Healing doesn’t work that way. Surround yourself with nourishing friends who support your healing goals, and a safe place to practice your new way of thinking/feeling/being. (This is the part I was missing for a long time.)
Just the act of implementing these seven steps is a major move forward on your healing journey. And even better is joining a group of people that are also making the shift, that are focusing and intending on daily action to heal their lives, to motivate you. Stick with it, stay connected to survivors that are doing the same thing, and you’ll experience a positive shift sooner than you think.
Why? Because healing is hard. Survivors doubt they can heal, wondering if they are worth it. We feel alone with these hard feelings, as if no one can understand. But you are not alone. Because these steps are more than a decision, it is a willingness and a commitment. A commitment to yourself that requires a lifestyle change, a change in your thoughts, feelings, and habits. We can not do that without constant support and accountability.
And that’s how you heal. Finally! And you will have a whole community of people to celebrate you, support you, and encourage you along the way.
I would not suggest this support if I did not offer it. If you are ready to dig deep and heal this year and looking for the right support for you, please send me a note and book a free 30 min. session with me. (Limited time offer. Offer ends 4/6/18) Just follow (this link)
I offer a few options and groups for you to choose from. Don't struggle alone. You are worthy of support and healing. I believe in you!
Ready to move forward? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you get moving forward. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW!
Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!
Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.