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Using the Power of Your Breath to Stay in the Present

2/21/2018

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The power of your breath is that it is always in the moment. 

Self awareness is key to starting a successful trauma healing journey. It can feel a bit overwhelming in the beginning, as you are literally choosing to counter your biology in choosing discomfort, learning how to navigate stepping outside your comfort zone and taking a hard look at your helpful but toxic coping strategies. 

I do a lot of trauma education with my clients. I know it provided me with the comfort to know that there was nothing wrong with me in how I had responded to and lived through my trauma. In fact, I was in many ways a textbook example of a child that grew up in a household with domestic violence, and was being abused emotionally, physically, and sexually. The outcome was that I lived with toxic stress as a child and as an adult, that toxic stress was still living inside of me as if it was still happening and all my systems were on high alert, all the time!

As I started to understand the impact of trauma and learning that I was not alone, I slowly became aware of how big a part my biology played in how I would be able to heal from the past. It became easier and easier and I was open to learning new things, actually willing to explore anything if it helped me find peace in my mental, emotional, and physical state and better able to connect with people. 

Learning about the power of my breath was an important piece of the puzzle. As survivors of trauma, we hardly notice our breath (or our shallow breathing), we hardly notice our tight sholders and the weight on our hearts or the knot in the pit of our stomach. It has been such a big part of your life, you assume it is what all people feel and experience. 

When I started to get into meditation about 20 years ago, I was fascinated by how the simple act of taking a deep breath could shift how I felt and it gave me the space to think about how I wanted to respond to my thoughts. I did practice meditation and some form of breathwork of and on during my healing journey, but it was not until a few of years ago that meditation becaume a regular self care practice and then again when I received my TRE certification. I reconnected with the power of my breath, the awareness it brings to your body, inside and out, and the power it has to shift from a place of tension to relexation, one breath at the time. 

Our breath is one of the systems of our body that can override our subconscious automatic systems. We only have to become aware and start to take the breaths we need to make the shift from how we usually feel to how we want to choose to feel now. 

If you are new to mindfulness or meditation, here are some simple steps for you to try:

1. Find a comfortable seat, keeping your eyes open or closed.
2. Begin by taking 3 full slow deep breaths, inhale and exhale fully.
3. Allow your breath to come back to normal.
4. To start, just sit and notice your breath coming in and going out. What do you notice?
5. Any thoughts that come to mind, just notice them and let them go.
6. The more you practice, start to notice how your body responds to the inhale and the exhale. Your lungs, the warmth of the breath, and the thoughts that might be distracting. 
7. No need to control or judge. You can't do this wrong. Just accept and allow. And give yourself this moment of being aware of your breath, being fully in the present moment with yourself. 
8. As you slowly come back from this breathing meditaion, just take a minute to scan your body and notice how you feel before you head out to your day.
9. In the beginning, it might be helpful to set an alarm and just start with 1 minute or 5 if you can and start to notice over time as you start to feel more comfortable sitting for longer periods of time.  

The long term benefits of mindful breathing include stress relief, better control over difficult emotions, increased positive thinking, and more self awareness, just to name a few. What is powerful about starting a simple breath meditation is that you can do it anywhere, it can always help you to come back to the present moment, where we want to be for connecting with other people. So much of our worry or anxiety about life is about the future or rumination about the past that we can't change. Start with just one minute a few times per week and notice how you feel. 

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Ready to start reconnecting with your body through mindfulness, meditation or TRE? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support?  I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self”  If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group. 
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Connecting to Your Body By Practicing Mindfulness

11/27/2017

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The practice of mindfulness, such as meditation, can be a challenge for trauma survivors.   Trauma disconnects you from your body in the moment to survive a perceived threat. Most survivors do not get the support they need to heal and process the abuse they suffered, which leads to chronic inner tension and toxic negative believes that feed unhealthy behaviors and feelings about themselves. We think we are bad, we feel bad, and believe the abuse was our fault. 

The thought of reconnecting with their bodies, where all the bad lives, feels very overwhelming in the beginning. Active mindfulness, of the body and mind, is a very helpful practice because it teaches us to become aware of body sensations, thoughts, and emotions and to relate to them with an open, nonjudgmental attitude. 

I remember feeling overwhelmed when I began to connect to the place where all the bad was hiding. The shame that lived inside my body was toxic. I had mastered denial about my past and was hiding behind the "little miss perfect" act, and working three jobs as a young woman. I have memories waking up in the middle of the night and feeling the terror and worry creep into my mind, my body slowly tensing up until I disconnected from it completely, not thinking about or feeling any of it. But eventually I could not pretend any longer. I was struggling with growing depression and physical pain that showed up in regular painful migraines and stomach cramps. 

Then I started my healing journey.  I was fortunate that I found a support group early on in my healing. Within this group, I learned about the impact of my past and how important it was to feel my feelings. I learned from watching other participants. I slowly connected to my feelings about what had been done to me. It took time and eventually, mindfulness and meditation became important tools that I utilized on my journey, for over 20 years. Now it is a part of my daily self-care practice. 

If you are new to mindfulness, it is defined as “the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment” (Kabat-Zinn, 2003 p. 145).

Research has consistently shown that mindfulness is an important predictor of well-being. People that meditate are more positive, feel more independent, and have higher self esteem and vitality. 

The other wonderful thing about mindfulness, is that it is already part of what being human is, a tool available to all humans. Anyone can practice mindfulness and you don't need anything outside of yourself to do it, even though it is helpful to follow a guide in the beginning in form of a book, course, or a coach. 

For some, mindfulness is easier to practice than meditation because you don't have to sit in silence in order to practice mindfulness. There are a range of different practices that I want to share with you in a future blog post but I also wanted to let you know that I am working on a 8 week mindfulness course that I will be offering in the new year. It will include a weekly webinar, a daily journal, and self guided mindfulness and meditation practices. This program is based on positive psychology and I know many of my clients will benefit from it.  

You can benefit from it as well. I lead my clients through body awareness exercises that help trauma survivors to learn to trust themselves and their bodies and gives them a practice that helps with self regulation and resilience during the healing journey. 
​

If you are interested in learning more about mindfulness, my upcoming group program, or have a question, please let me know. You can reply or comment below.

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Do you struggle with body awareness? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How Being Grateful All Year Long Will Make You a Happier Person

11/22/2017

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I have been slowing down a bit this week in preparation for Thanksgiving. I have family visiting and my son is out on school break. This last weekend I got out some decorations and put out some nice linen on our dining room table. I love the holiday season.

The upcoming holidays made me reflect on an interesting shift that happened a few years ago, when I realized that when I was in my control mode and things had to be just so, I put my traditions above connection and fun. I was terribly stressed out and making everyone miserable. The truth is - I was exhausted through most of the season. 

Isn't it interesting that during the time of year that is dedicated to love, peace, and the harmony of family gatherings, that most of us feel more stressed out, chasing a long list of expectations with a never ending "to do" list before the holidays. 

Once I changed this mindset and brought peace and calm into how I handled the holiday season, I felt happier and I know my family is just as happy. 

Another thing that I am putting more time and effort into is being grateful, not just around the holidays, but counting my blessings, each and every day. 

In the car yesterday, I was reminded by how mainstream the idea of learning to be grateful has become. There was a whole hour on the radio where the host asked expert researchers about the importance of gratitude and what it does for people and callers shared the one thing they were grateful for from 2017. 

So as this year is coming to a close, keep this question in mind: What is the number one thing that you are grateful for from this past year? I would love to hear your answer!

The practice of gratitude forces us to be more aware and mindful of the moment. It requires us to reflect and recall something positive and bring your awareness into your body, how you thought and felt about it in the moment. How did you feel about a hug from a loved one, the beautiful sunset, the warm water on your skin in the shower, the chocolate cake your partner made for you, the smile on your childs face when you took an extra moment to encourage him, the purring cat on your lap...All of these are examples of things are only felt and acknowledged in the moment.

Because of our hardwiring, it is easier to be negative than positive. It takes time and effort to shift our mindset and we do that by focusing and starting to look for the good things in our life. I know there have been times where that was hard but, no matter what, most of us can find something good, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem at first. This is a very powerful practice and over time is how you create new positive feelings and healthy habits. 

Something especially helpful if you are going through a hard time is to write a list every day, of 5 things you are grateful for in you life and spend the day reflecting on it.

Right now, I am feeling grateful for my family, the season, the colorful leaves on the trees, my friends, and the trips I have taken this year, and you, my friend. If you are reading this, I want you to know that I appreciate you - more than you will ever know.  

But the one thing I am most grateful for this year is the time I have spent in nature. I rediscovered that nature was and has always been my sanctuary. I feel so blessed by the strong connection I feel that helps to ground me in my body and gives me access to something much greater than myself. 

I would love to hear from you all, whether it's about practices of gratitude or mindfulness that you use or the thing you are most grateful for over the last year. Don't be afraid to reach out and start a conversation with me about your answer!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!


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Do you struggle with mindfulness? Not sure how to start a mindfulness practice?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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The 6 Stages of Starting Positive, Healthy Habits

11/13/2017

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One of my greatest passions is learning new things. I am always bookmarking pages, with a list of books I want to read and courses to explore. I know this passion has served me well and has been very helpful on the healing journey. But it can also be distracting or something we use to keep us distracted. Have you ever noticed that? 

What I have learned from experience is to focus only on integrating or changing one habit at a time and only signing up for one program at a time. Humans have great intention but the truth is, we all struggle with change and find ourselves resisting it in the beginning.

I am attending a weekly class on resilience right now because I am interested in deepening my understanding, for myself and my clients, of how to better navigate how our bodies respond during stress and how to bring ourselves back to balance. It is such an important skill to learn, especially for survivors of trauma. 

The interesting part of learning about change is that even when it is good for you and the thing you KNOW you want, you still have to go through the stages of behavior change.  So I appreciated the reminder in my class and have the feeling that a few of you could use a reminder also. 

There are six stages we all go through to change our behavior and to create new habits. They are: 

1. Not ready. You may not even be aware that something needs changing or have any interest in making a change. This could also be because you don't have the information you need to feel safe about how to change. 

2. Getting ready. You may have awareness around something needing changing and even feel that you are setting intention to change, or have been thinking about it, but still not sure exactly when to start.  

3. Ready. Your intention is to make a change and you have taken some steps towards that change.
 
4. Action. You are actively working on this change and have been for about six months. 

5. Maintenance. You have created a new habit and it has become part of your routine. You recognize the possibility of relapse and are actively aware to prevent it. 

6. Relapse. Relapse happens. It is part of the process. The key is to not stop there. You make sure you go to the earlier stage and keep going. 

It was great to have a dialog about these stages in my class and to also reflect on the fact that the things that I have changed took me about 12 months or more to change.

This year my goal was to meditate consistently. To help me with this goal, I signed up for a 30 day mediation challenge. It was a wonderful way to start. For about 5 months, I meditated every single day. Then I was traveling for a few weeks and I did miss a few days. I noticed that the days I did meditate, I felt more grounded and centered.  When I got back, I found my way back to the routine that works very well for me, which includes my daily meditation practice. I missed my routine and felt happy to be in it once more.

The key was  to not to be hard on myself. To notice my inner critic when I did not keep up with my goal, to stop the old critical voice of, "see you will never be able to change,"  and use my self compassion practice to talk to myself the same way that I support my friends and my clients. 

Judging yourself does not help. Learn to understand the 6 stages and remember to practice self compassion. Make it a long term goal, a 1 or 2 year goal. Set yourself up for success but always keep in mind that we are more likely to relapse or stop doing the new behavior, no matter how good it it for us, if we are not actively being mindful about it. 


                                                                               ********

Do you struggle with change? Not sure how to create a long term plan for your healing?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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