Even though we’ve been through some really rough times in the last 24 years, our love for each other has carried us through. My husband, David, is still my best friend. He helped me heal my wounded heart. I’ve cried rivers of tears in his arms, as he listened to the pain from my past. Over and over again, he has lovingly reminded me I’m more than my abusive childhood.
Here are several truths I’ve learned for child abuse survivors about marriage. These are all things I wish someone had told me back in 1993.
- Heal for yourself, not for anyone else. My initial decision to heal was for my kids. I didn’t want to pass the pain from my abusive childhood to them. I wanted that toxic legacy to end with me. Eventually, I realized healing only happens when you do it for yourself.
- Our parents taught us how to build toxic relationships, not healthy ones. Do what you need to do to learn how to create the healthy, happy relationships you’ve always wanted.
- Your kids watch you like a hawk. Children are sponges. They not only absorb everything you say but also everything you do. Make sure what they see in you is a model for how to build the loving, healthy, nourishing relationships they deserve.
- Your responsibility is to make YOU happy. This isn’t the responsibility of your spouse or kids. You’re the only one who can truly make you happy. To do this, find out what you want in life and give it to yourself.
- Perfect marriages don’t exist. My husband and I were two people from dysfunctional families, who fell in love. That’s what we brought to the table. As we’ve both healed from childhood trauma, our goal has been to create a place of peace for ourselves and our kids.
After all, creating peace in this world starts at home, right?
Are you and your spouse struggling with your relationship? Does peace in your family seem like an impossible goal? If so, I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!
Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!
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