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How Do You Talk To Yourself?

6/25/2016

2 Comments

 
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I’ll never forget the day I became aware of this.  It was a major revelation for me.  Definitely, one of those “aha” moments!

That was the day I realized I talked to myself in the same abusive manner in which I had been treated as a child.  Yikes!  I was unkind, harsh, and super critical of myself in every way.  

It’s true.  I never talked to myself like I talk to the people I love.  With those people, my words were kind, compassionate, gentle, empathetic, and loving.  But that’s not the way I talked to myself.  Not even close.  I was incredibly hard on myself.  I was an abusive perfectionist, constantly beating myself up for the lack of perfection in my life.

Discovering this was like opening the door to a cage I’d been imprisoned in my entire life.  It was exhilarating to realize I could finally break free from this horrible inner critic.  

Yet it was also frightening.  I’d never been taught how to be good to myself.  How do you do that?  Where should I start?  

After years of trial and error, I learned to become my own cheerleader.  If you’re like me and your own worst inner critic, begin today to change that.  Start by choosing a kind word for yourself.  It should be something you've been longing to hear whispered in your ear while you're being gently hugged.  Then choose another kind word.  Then another.

When you’re comfortable with this, make a list of all your good qualities.  Maybe you have a big, compassionate heart.  Maybe you’re a giving, helpful person.  All those qualities should be on your list.  Review this list every day until the revelation of your wonderfulness sinks deeply into your soul.  Then you, too, will become your own cheerleader!

Soon it’ll be impossible for you to say anything abusive to yourself.  You’ll simply love yourself too much.  And that’s the way it should be!
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Are you your own worst critic?  Does your mind go blank when you try to think of a kind word to say to yourself?  If so, don’t worry.  I can help you with that.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Little Miss Perfect Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

11/30/2015

4 Comments

 
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Perfectionism is exhausting, isn’t it?  When you were a kid, you thought the sexual abuse was your fault.  You thought it was because there was something wrong with you.  You thought you weren’t perfect enough, so you tried to be perfect.  But it didn’t work.  The abuse continued.  

When you grew up, the shame of what happened to you as a kid was overwhelming.  You couldn’t accept yourself because of it.  So you continued trying to be perfect.  Maybe if you were perfect and pleased others, they might accept you anyway, right?  But that didn’t work either.

Here’s the truth about acceptance.  No one can accept you but YOU.  Perfectionism has nothing to do with acceptance.  That’s why it never worked for you.

Most of your pain comes from not accepting yourself.  Self-acceptance is a vital skill I help all my clients learn.  It’s important for you to realize there’s nothing wrong with you.  And there never was.  

Think about this.  What would you be doing if you felt completely accepted, loved, and adored right now?  

See that vision in your mind.  Live that life and be that person.  Do it today.  Begin by taking small steps.  But keep moving forward.  That's how self-acceptance sinks deep into your soul and stays there.

Remember, you're already the person in that vision.  Start living it today.  It’s the real YOU!
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Would you like to learn the skill of self-acceptance and move forward with your healing?  If so, follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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