Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

Why Learning Self-Care Is One of the Most Rewarding Lessons

3/21/2018

I struggled with self-care for a long time. It wasn’t an easy task for me. Back then, my self-care mostly consisted of numbing the pain. I was in too much pain and too ashamed of what had happened to me. It hurt too much to think about it. In the process, I had completely disconnected from myself and my needs.

What helped was when I learned about the long term impact of trauma or rather the long term impact of toxic stress on my body. I could easily see how the abuse I suffered made me not want to talk about the past, feel my feelings, or want to take care of my body. But what was invisible to me and my awareness was how the toxic stress from my childhood was still fueling the high level of cortisol in my body. The high levels of stress hormones in the body can create and contribute to long term problems with our heart and for our blood vessels. This information became a game changer for me.

I had to start to practice good self-care to help my body counter the years of living with toxic levels of stress in my body. My body was my vehicle to living a good life. I needed a healthy body if I was going to heal and restore, I was not sure how but I knew I wanted to experience feeling good about myself after all the healing.

Adding self-care to my life was difficult because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted and needed. I was really hard on myself about this, too. It was embarrassing. I was a grown woman but I didn’t know how to care for myself in a loving way.

However, I was very skilled at taking care of family and friends. I knew what they needed and I would go out of my way to make sure those needs were met. I always put them first, often at the expense of my own self-care.

Does this sound like you? If so, here’s how to stop neglecting yourself.

Self-care begins with awareness. Pay attention to what works, what doesn’t work, and what needs to be tweaked in your life.

The best way to do this is to make a list:

What healthy foods did you eat today?
Did you exercise today?
How much water did you drink today?
How much sleep did you get?
Did you do something today that gave you joy, something just for you?

Seems like a tall order, doesn’t it? It did to me at first. With a busy work life and a family of five, I had no time in my day for taking care of “me.”

But I was determined to do this, so I kept trying. I was especially motivated to not let the past take any more from my present life. It is my life now. My future that I was investing in. I knew it was my responsibility now to choose things that were good for me.

Then an amazing thing happened. I began to feel better about myself. I was shocked to discover self-care was helping me heal.

Slowly, I started to treat myself with the respect and love I deserved. And it felt good. Really good. After a few ups and downs with my self-care, I learned what worked for me. I gave myself 12 months, a whole year to implement a new healthy habit. It has taken a few years but now I do some form of exercise 5 time per week. I drink plenty of water every day. I keep track of my sleep and I get 3 healthy meals every single day. My self-care journey was just as challenging as my emotional and mental health journey but I have to say it was the most rewarding. I know I have helped reverse some of the long term health affects my trauma caused and I get to feel good in my body and feel good about taking care of it.

You can do this, too. Make today the day you take those first steps toward your own self-care. It won’t feel comfortable at first, but keep trying. You’ll be glad you did!

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Ready to tackle self care? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you understand the impact, and how to start your healing journey. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.

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Becoming the Parent Your Inner Child Needed

2/27/2018

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What does becoming the change you want to see in the world look like?

So many victims of child abuse and trauma are stuck because they don't know that things can be different. Their inner world of tension, fear, and distrust has become their outer world. They have been living this way for so long that they don't know that things can shift and they don't know how or where to start.

Then one day, they realize they are stuck and they want change but how to get unstuck is unclear, since this is brand new territory. Not only do survivors not know how to change, they don't know what that change looks, feels, or sounds like. Who do they turn to, what do they do next?

This was how I felt. The first 10 years or so of the healing journey was all about talking about and having my feelings about the past. I understood trauma and because of the unprocessed feelings and energy in my body, I needed to reconnect with my body, learn to care for it, appreciate it, be kind to it. That practice has taken a long time.

What I learned from others only worked to a certain point. What I spent a long time searching for was someone outside of me to fix it, to show me, make me better. It was not until I started the daily practice of being kind to myself, practicing self-care, and really learning to listen to myself and what I needed, that things started to shift and I started to feel better about myself and hopeful about the future.

Part of becoming the change I wanted to see in the world brought me to how I had wanted to be treated as a little girl. What kind of mother and father did I wish I had had? Someone that kept me safe. That loved and adored me for who I was, supported my talents and curiosity, helped me develop trust in myself and other people as I mastered the developmental stages of growing up through adolescence and into adulthood. I wanted someone that could have guided me through the challenges of becoming a partner and a mom.

That's what I wanted to become. That was the change I wanted to see, not only in my mirror but to finally believe it about myself and embody and live out of these truths: I am a good person. I am a valuable person. I am a lovable person. I am a kind, compassionate person.

So where did I start? With daily practice of self-care. With regularly checking in and practicing feeling my feelings and asking for support when I needed it. With making time to connect with my wounded inner child that felt abandoned, lonely and unlovable and by practice kindness, care, and love everday in my life, starting with myself.

I am still a work in progress but I know I have navigated the challenging inner world of trauma healing. It is from this challenging journey that I can hold a safe place for my clients and show them the babysteps to learning how to be kind and gentle with ourselves as we learn what it looks and feels like to become the parent we needed and the courageus person we can be today. As we choose to love wholeheartedly, to live from our hearts, not our hurts, that will create the change the world needs now more than ever.
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Ready to become the parent and the protector that you needed? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.

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Using the Power of Your Breath to Stay in the Present

2/21/2018

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The power of your breath is that it is always in the moment.

Self awareness is key to starting a successful trauma healing journey. It can feel a bit overwhelming in the beginning, as you are literally choosing to counter your biology in choosing discomfort, learning how to navigate stepping outside your comfort zone and taking a hard look at your helpful but toxic coping strategies.

I do a lot of trauma education with my clients. I know it provided me with the comfort to know that there was nothing wrong with me in how I had responded to and lived through my trauma. In fact, I was in many ways a textbook example of a child that grew up in a household with domestic violence, and was being abused emotionally, physically, and sexually. The outcome was that I lived with toxic stress as a child and as an adult, that toxic stress was still living inside of me as if it was still happening and all my systems were on high alert, all the time!

As I started to understand the impact of trauma and learning that I was not alone, I slowly became aware of how big a part my biology played in how I would be able to heal from the past. It became easier and easier and I was open to learning new things, actually willing to explore anything if it helped me find peace in my mental, emotional, and physical state and better able to connect with people.

Learning about the power of my breath was an important piece of the puzzle. As survivors of trauma, we hardly notice our breath (or our shallow breathing), we hardly notice our tight sholders and the weight on our hearts or the knot in the pit of our stomach. It has been such a big part of your life, you assume it is what all people feel and experience.

When I started to get into meditation about 20 years ago, I was fascinated by how the simple act of taking a deep breath could shift how I felt and it gave me the space to think about how I wanted to respond to my thoughts. I did practice meditation and some form of breathwork of and on during my healing journey, but it was not until a few of years ago that meditation becaume a regular self care practice and then again when I received my TRE certification. I reconnected with the power of my breath, the awareness it brings to your body, inside and out, and the power it has to shift from a place of tension to relexation, one breath at the time.

Our breath is one of the systems of our body that can override our subconscious automatic systems. We only have to become aware and start to take the breaths we need to make the shift from how we usually feel to how we want to choose to feel now.

If you are new to mindfulness or meditation, here are some simple steps for you to try:

1. Find a comfortable seat, keeping your eyes open or closed.
2. Begin by taking 3 full slow deep breaths, inhale and exhale fully.
3. Allow your breath to come back to normal.
4. To start, just sit and notice your breath coming in and going out. What do you notice?
5. Any thoughts that come to mind, just notice them and let them go.
6. The more you practice, start to notice how your body responds to the inhale and the exhale. Your lungs, the warmth of the breath, and the thoughts that might be distracting.
7. No need to control or judge. You can't do this wrong. Just accept and allow. And give yourself this moment of being aware of your breath, being fully in the present moment with yourself.
8. As you slowly come back from this breathing meditaion, just take a minute to scan your body and notice how you feel before you head out to your day.
9. In the beginning, it might be helpful to set an alarm and just start with 1 minute or 5 if you can and start to notice over time as you start to feel more comfortable sitting for longer periods of time.

The long term benefits of mindful breathing include stress relief, better control over difficult emotions, increased positive thinking, and more self awareness, just to name a few. What is powerful about starting a simple breath meditation is that you can do it anywhere, it can always help you to come back to the present moment, where we want to be for connecting with other people. So much of our worry or anxiety about life is about the future or rumination about the past that we can't change. Start with just one minute a few times per week and notice how you feel.

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Ready to start reconnecting with your body through mindfulness, meditation or TRE? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.

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Why Getting Educated about Trauma Was the Turning Point in My Healing Journey

1/8/2018

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Something that helped me immensely on the healing journey was to get educated about the manifestation of trauma and the impact that abuse has on survivors and their well being. It was especially helpful in the beginning of my journey, when I was still in denial about the abuse I suffered and how it impacted me. I thought because I was out of the house and away from the person that was abusive that I was fine. I did not understand that I had spent my life in fight/flight/freeze mode and that because of it, I had developed behaviors and habits that had served well to protect me from the fear and pain, but that those habits were no longer helpful but toxic to my body and soul.

It was in support groups that I slowly identified what my coping behaviors were. That I was not my coping behaviors and that many of my core beliefs were false. When I realized this hard truth, I was devastated. If I am not who I think I am, who I have been for the last 20 years of my life? Who am I??

After letting the sadness and grief come up and working through it over a few years, I realized that no matter what I had been through, I was still here. And deep in my heart of hearts, I was committed to uncovering the truth and to learning what I had found to be a truth that I was starting to believe in: that every single one of us is here to learn about love. That we are all unique and important and have gifts to share with the world. It just took a few more years until I discovered what mine were.

As I read countless books on trauma and attended many conference on trauma, I heard all about the impact the trauma had on my mental, emotional, physical, and social well being. It was hard at times and I would feel triggered and have flashbacks. But I kept going.

It was when I heard about the ACE study (link to the ace study) that it all came together for me. I heard the scientific proof that the toxic stress of my childhood had set me up for a long list of physical, emotional, and mental health issues that would manifest in my life sooner than later. It was brutal. I can still remember holding onto the chair I was sitting in, to not run out of the room, but I am grateful today for the truth I heard then.

It pushed me to really focus on my health and wellness and now, 10 years later, I know that I have reversed some of the impacts by relentless self-care, mindfulness, and a balanced life style. Though I am always a work in progress, I became determined to life fully. To claim my birthright to thrive and live wholeheartedly. It became my new lifestyle and each year, I set a goal for myself that helps me grow, learn, and thrive as a human being in a healthy body.

So what I want to encourage you, my reader, to take away from this blog post is to start to focus more on your balanced and healthy life style. It truly is the path for healing your body/mind/spirit and creating more meaningful and connected relationships with yourself and others. It is the path to what we all want, to feel connected and feel that we belong and are loved. You can have that and feel that. Just start today and start small. Slowly create new healthy habits that phase out the old habits/behaviors that you learned when you did not have a choice. Now you can choose you!

You will wake up one day and recognize that you have the power to change how you feel, that you can choose peace and joy, no matter the circumstance and start to feel grateful for the body you have been given to experience love, gratitude, and connection to those you love and care about.

So make this year count with a small beginning or a new step towards your fulfilled and healthy life. It is worth, it. You are worth it!

I believe in you...always.
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Ready to tackle the impact of your trauma? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.

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How Being Grateful All Year Long Will Make You a Happier Person

11/22/2017

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I have been slowing down a bit this week in preparation for Thanksgiving. I have family visiting and my son is out on school break. This last weekend I got out some decorations and put out some nice linen on our dining room table. I love the holiday season.

The upcoming holidays made me reflect on an interesting shift that happened a few years ago, when I realized that when I was in my control mode and things had to be just so, I put my traditions above connection and fun. I was terribly stressed out and making everyone miserable. The truth is - I was exhausted through most of the season.

Isn't it interesting that during the time of year that is dedicated to love, peace, and the harmony of family gatherings, that most of us feel more stressed out, chasing a long list of expectations with a never ending "to do" list before the holidays.

Once I changed this mindset and brought peace and calm into how I handled the holiday season, I felt happier and I know my family is just as happy.

Another thing that I am putting more time and effort into is being grateful, not just around the holidays, but counting my blessings, each and every day.

In the car yesterday, I was reminded by how mainstream the idea of learning to be grateful has become. There was a whole hour on the radio where the host asked expert researchers about the importance of gratitude and what it does for people and callers shared the one thing they were grateful for from 2017.

So as this year is coming to a close, keep this question in mind: What is the number one thing that you are grateful for from this past year? I would love to hear your answer!

The practice of gratitude forces us to be more aware and mindful of the moment. It requires us to reflect and recall something positive and bring your awareness into your body, how you thought and felt about it in the moment. How did you feel about a hug from a loved one, the beautiful sunset, the warm water on your skin in the shower, the chocolate cake your partner made for you, the smile on your childs face when you took an extra moment to encourage him, the purring cat on your lap...All of these are examples of things are only felt and acknowledged in the moment.

Because of our hardwiring, it is easier to be negative than positive. It takes time and effort to shift our mindset and we do that by focusing and starting to look for the good things in our life. I know there have been times where that was hard but, no matter what, most of us can find something good, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem at first. This is a very powerful practice and over time is how you create new positive feelings and healthy habits.

Something especially helpful if you are going through a hard time is to write a list every day, of 5 things you are grateful for in you life and spend the day reflecting on it.

Right now, I am feeling grateful for my family, the season, the colorful leaves on the trees, my friends, and the trips I have taken this year, and you, my friend. If you are reading this, I want you to know that I appreciate you - more than you will ever know.

But the one thing I am most grateful for this year is the time I have spent in nature. I rediscovered that nature was and has always been my sanctuary. I feel so blessed by the strong connection I feel that helps to ground me in my body and gives me access to something much greater than myself.

I would love to hear from you all, whether it's about practices of gratitude or mindfulness that you use or the thing you are most grateful for over the last year. Don't be afraid to reach out and start a conversation with me about your answer!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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Do you struggle with mindfulness? Not sure how to start a mindfulness practice? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Self-Care Is a Vital Part of the Healing Journey

11/6/2017

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Focusing on your health is important as you heal after trauma.

I had learned a lot about trauma. I understood the impact but having been fortunate with a healthy body, the long term impact had not showed up in my biology except for very painful migraine headaches and depression. But the toxic level of stress I had lived with my whole life had not registered yet.

Back then, my self-care mostly consisted of numbing the pain. It just hurt too much to think about it. I was in too much pain and too ashamed of what had happened to me. In the process, I had completely disconnected from myself and my needs. This strategy worked, and it worked for a while.

Adding self-care to my life was difficult because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted and needed. I was really hard on myself about this, too. It was embarrassing. I was a grown woman, but I didn’t know how to care for myself in a loving way. I did not know what it looked and felt like to kindly take care of Svava. Does this sound like you?

However, I was very skilled at taking care of family and friends. I knew what they needed and I would go out of my way to make sure those needs were met. I always put them first, often at the expense of my own self-care. It was much easier to focus on other people.

Do you ignore your own needs and focus only on the needs of others? I’ve been there, I understand, and I’m here to tell you that you can start to change that.

Any change begins with awareness. Pay attention to what works, what doesn’t work, and what needs to be tweaked in your life.

The best way to do this is to make a list:

Are you even on your list?
What healthy foods did you eat this week?
Did you exercise or go for a walk?
How much water did you drink?
Did you do something today that gave you joy, something just for you, like reading a good book or getting a manicure or window shopping?
How many times did you meditate?

Seems like a tall order, doesn’t it? It did to me. With a busy work life and a family of five, I had no time in my day for taking care of “me.”

But I was determined to do this, so I kept trying. I knew I had to take daily loving action to changing my lifestyle, to make my self-care a priority, or I would never fully heal.

Then an amazing thing happened. I began to feel better about myself. I was shocked to discover self-care was helping me heal and it was making me healthier than I had ever been. I was probably even reversing some of the long term impact the abuse had on my body.

Slowly, I started to treat myself with the respect and love I deserved. The more self care I practiced, the stronger and more resilient I felt. It felt so good to finally know how to make myself healthy again. I was healing from the inside out.

You can do this too! Make today the day you take those first steps toward your own self-care. It won’t feel comfortable at first, but keep trying. You’ll be glad you did!

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Is it hard for you to take time for yourself? Do you struggle with the concept of loving self-care? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in Paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email to my weekly blog post, go here: http://www.educate4change.com and register on the homepage or in the popup box.

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The Healing Power of Happy Memories

10/2/2017

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How do I start each day? By putting myself at the top of my To-Do List!

Selfish? Not at all. A big part of my healing journey has been learning how to take responsibility for my own happiness and wellbeing. Making healthy choices for my body, mind, and spirit is my job. No one else’s.

That means I’m no longer waiting for someone to come along and rescue me, make me happy, or make my life better. I know the truth. I know no one is coming, because I’m the only one who can rescue me. I’m the ‘rescuer” I’ve been waiting for all my life.

How cool is that?!

My daily self-care regime is a gift I give to myself. It’s one of the many ways in which I honor my authentic self. A good self-care regime nurtures your mind, body, and spirit. When I make daily self-care a top priority, I’m putting myself at the top of my To-Do List.

One of my favorite forms of self-care is the practice of recalling happy memories to tap into their incredible healing power. Dwelling on happy memories releases chemicals and hormones that create new pathways in the brain for healing.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Recalling happy memories is easier said than done for child abuse survivors like us, right? Exactly! The first time I tried to do this I wasn’t in a very good place in my life, so I drew a total blank. I couldn’t think of a single happy memory. Yikes!

You may be having that problem now, too. Don’t worry. Here’s a trick to stimulate your memory. Just answer these questions:

What are a few good times you’ve had with your pet?
What are you grateful for? Each of these things will trigger a happy memory.
What is your favorite “happy” song? Why does it always make you happy?

The answer to these questions will give you a good start on a list of happy memories. Keep this list handy on your phone or someplace where you’ll see it every day. That way you can tap into the healing power of this list at any time.

Enjoy your happy memories, my friends. Choose the good ones and let the others go!

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Does your mind draw a blank every time you try to create a list of happy memories? If so, I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Will I Ever be Happy Again?

9/4/2017

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My heart sings with happiness every day. Why? Because I focus on the things that make me happy and give me joy. I do this on purpose. It’s an intentional action. Not something that just happens.

To be honest, feeling joyful isn’t easy for me. I’m not one of those naturally happy people, who leaps out of bed every morning with a smile on her face. For too many years, I was bound by shame and couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be happy or joyful. I didn’t feel worthy of happiness.

Back then, I wanted everyone else to make me happy. However, that’s not how happiness works, so I was always disappointed. I expected things to go wrong, to be betrayed, abandoned, and ignored. It took a long time to get to the happy, joyous place I’m at right now.

How did I do it? Through the simple practice of self-care and self-love.

The secret to happiness is to do at least one simple thing every day that makes you happy and gives you joy. It can be anything, like playing with your cat or dog, reading an inspirational book or your Bible, working in your garden or at your favorite hobby, etc. You choose.

Just doing this every day for as little as 30 minutes will shift your energy from sadness to joy. That’s important, because survivors of child abuse tend to major on satisfying the needs of everyone else. We work ourselves to exhaustion, making sure others are happy by placing their needs ahead of our own.

It’s no wonder we’re miserable and depressed. Not only were we emotionally abandoned as abused children, but now we’ve abandoned ourselves as adults.

Stop doing that! You’re just as worthy of happiness as any human being on this planet. Start acting that way. Put yourself at the top of your daily priority list. Do all the simple things that give YOU joy. Making yourself happy is your responsibility. That’s the true path to happiness.

Your joyous transformation won’t happen overnight, but don’t give up. Consistency is the key. Keep working at it. Eventually, your heart will sing with happiness every day, too. You’ll see!
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Is happiness an elusive dream for you? Is it impossible for you to feel joy? If so, I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers. If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Your Body is Miraculous!

5/16/2017

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There’s a reason you can heal and transform yourself after abuse or trauma. It’s because your body knows how to heal itself. This self-healing mechanism is part of your biology. Who knew, right?

However, the hard part about healing will be finding the toxic beliefs caused by trauma that keep this mechanism from working properly. These toxic beliefs form tension patterns in the body. This trapped tension needs to be released, or your nervous system will interpret it as an imbalance.

If you’ve ever wondered why you’ve always felt like there was something wrong with you, this is the reason. It’s your biology. You’re not different from other people. You’re not broken. It’s just your body’s normal response to trapped tension. It interprets it as an imbalance.

The biology of your body really is miraculous. Once you understand this, it’s time to fall in love with your body. Easier said than done, I know. If you’ve always thought there was something wrong with your body, this will feel strange at first.

But stick with it. Spend some time every day building a loving relationship with your body. Get comfortable with it. Soon you’ll begin to appreciate how hard it has always worked to keep you safe and healthy.

None of us likes to admit this, but trauma is a part of life. It’s normal to some degree for everyone. Fortunately, your body was designed to handle trauma quickly and efficiently. That’s why it often chooses the path of least resistance.

Begin to build a loving, trusting relationship with your miraculous body today. Do that by honoring its biology, nervous system, and amazing self-healing abilities.

The healing journey is often a bumpy ride. There will be lots of challenges along the way. Some will be emotional. Others will be physical. Aren’t you glad your body was designed to handle all of them? We are truly blessed!
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Are you having a difficult time appreciating your body and building a loving relationship with it? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!
Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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You’re Not a Selfish Person

2/12/2017

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Child abuse survivors are not selfish people. In fact, we have a toxic habit of putting our needs last and the needs of everyone else first.

We do this for two reasons. First, not only were we taught to put the needs of others ahead of our own but we quickly discovered making sure our abusers were happy and cared for was a way for these people to leave us alone.

Second, if you had a narcissistic parent, you were constantly punished for being “selfish.” Anytime a child puts his or her basic emotional needs first, a narcissistic parent will accuse that child of being selfish. Why? Because the narcissist’s needs should always come first. No exceptions. This is a toxic form of narcissistic abuse. It teaches the child that he or she has no value or worth.

Over time, like many of you, I lost touch with my individuality. I had no idea what I needed or wanted. I didn’t even know how to ask for it. My self-sacrificing behavior was fueled by the toxic belief that people who put their needs first were selfish. To prove I wasn’t that kind of person, I’d spent my entire life ignoring my needs.

This is what the pain of trauma is all about. Abuse took our identity from us. We no longer remember who we are, and we have no idea what we need. Because of what happened to us, we’re terrified that we aren’t worthy of love or care.

None of this is true. We’re just as worthy of self-care and self-compassion as everyone else. You’re not a selfish person. And you never were.

Let today be the day you put yourself first in a healthy way. Here’s how to start: do what brings you joy. I’m not kidding. It’s that simple.

Go to a coffee shop and enjoy the peace
Window shop
Drive to the park
Go to a movie
Attend a Sunday church service or daily Mass
Join a gym
Take a walk around the block
Call a friend to chat
Meet a friend for coffee or lunch
Read a book
Practice yoga
Meditate
Learn a new language
Buy yourself a small gift
Plant a garden
Play with your pet
Take a relaxing bubble bath
Work a crossword puzzle
Start a new craft project

You don’t need anyone’s permission to do these things. Yes, taking time for yourself will feel uncomfortable at first. I used to worry about what others would think. I felt so guilty when I took care of myself! But then I realized no one was watching. That’s because self-care is normal, healthy behavior. Who knew, right? Not us!

Your sole purpose in life isn’t to exhaust yourself by serving others. The more you practice self-care the less power this toxic belief will hold over you. Every day do something that makes you happy. You’re worth it!

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Is it hard for you to take time for yourself? Do you struggle with the concept of loving self-care? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in Paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email to my weekly blog post, go here: http://www.educate4change.com and register on the homepage or in the popup box.

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<<Previous

Why Learning Self-Care Is One of the Most Rewarding Lessons

Becoming the Parent Your Inner Child Needed

Using the Power of Your Breath to Stay in the Present

Why Getting Educated about Trauma Was the Turning Point in My Healing Journey

How Being Grateful All Year Long Will Make You a Happier Person

Self-Care Is a Vital Part of the Healing Journey

The Healing Power of Happy Memories

Will I Ever be Happy Again?

Your Body is Miraculous!

You’re Not a Selfish Person

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