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Connecting With Your Creative Inner Self Can Help You Heal

12/5/2017

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Healing after abuse or trauma is a very creative process. I didn't used to think so but the truth is, survivors have found very creative ways to cope after the trauma, to stay ahead of the memories, whether it was because they simply did not have the support they needed or to stay busy enough to avoid feeling the the pain. But it does catch up with us eventually.

In order to survive, we create stories about ourselves, our childhood, our families, and the past. We creatively numb, distract, or disassociate from the truth because we have not felt safe to acknowledge the truth, not inside our bodies or in our families or communities. But we don’t see that we are being creative, very resourceful, and resilient.

Recognizing that you are creative opens up the possibility for you to see things differently and my favorite part about creative thinking is that it creates space for authenticity. You can do it your way, not like anyone else. Because “art” is anything the creator wants it to be, a form of self expression. You also don’t have to share with anyone for it to be creative. And when it comes to sharing your story, I encourage you to not share it until you are sure that the person hearing it will celebrate you and honor your courage and your work. People have to earn our trust for us to choose to share our heartbreaking stories of trauma and the creative stories of our healing.

I know I am not the first person to shudder in a workshop or a class when the teacher announced that we were going to create art to help us with the next part of healing. I have learned to recognize where this comes from in me. It is the "little miss perfect" in me that did not dare create anything unless it was perfect. I now scoop her up into my arms and let her know that this is actually where we get to paint outside the lines and scribble in any color if that is what feels right in the moment. I am not going to compare her creativity to someone else’s like I used to. No more.

The healing journey is about finding our way back to our truth, our authentic selves, and along the way we do get to reconnect with our inner child that did like arts and crafts. Do you remember?

I would love to hear how you are using your creativity on your healing journey and how it is helping you. Whether you are writing new stories, acknowledging the hurt, the truth, stories, creating poems, sharing your feelings.Or maybe playing or listening to music that moves your heart, or gets you dancing, going to the gym, getting out into nature, creating a vision board or collage where you paste images, magazine clippings, adding color and glitter, images that move you, inspire you and empower you, speaking, singing, instruments, chanting, movement, dancing, skipping...to stay true to the truth of who you are, your authentic creative self!

The options are endless and amazing. I can’t wait to hear from you if you are willing to share, either here on the blog or just hit reply to my email and tell me how you have connected your creativity and healing. If you have created an identity like I did, that I am NOT an artist, be gentle with yourself. Put your hand on your heart and find where that resistance lives in your body. Get to know it like an old friend. Take lots of time and go slow. Let your inner child know you are not here to make him or her do anything they are not willing to do. You just want them to play with you a little when they are ready. And keep showing up. Slowly find the ways to remind you and your parts where you are already creative. Help them shift in perception of what is allowed and acceptable. 

And fall in love with your creativity!

                                                                    ********

Do you struggle with finding your way back to your truth?
Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Self-Care Is a Vital Part of the Healing Journey

11/6/2017

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Focusing on your health is important as you heal after trauma.

I had learned a lot about trauma. I understood the impact but having been fortunate with a healthy body, the long term impact had not showed up in my biology except for very painful migraine headaches and depression. But the toxic level of stress I had lived with my whole life had not registered yet.

Back then, my self-care mostly consisted of numbing the pain. It just hurt too much to think about it. I was in too much pain and too ashamed of what had happened to me. In the process, I had completely disconnected from myself and my needs. This strategy worked, and it worked for a while.

Adding self-care to my life was difficult because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted and needed. I was really hard on myself about this, too. It was embarrassing. I was a grown woman, but I didn’t know how to care for myself in a loving way. I did not know what it looked and felt like to kindly take care of Svava. Does this sound like you?

However, I was very skilled at taking care of family and friends. I knew what they needed and I would go out of my way to make sure those needs were met. I always put them first, often at the expense of my own self-care. It was much easier to focus on other people.

Do you ignore your own needs and focus only on the needs of others? I’ve been there, I understand, and I’m here to tell you that you can start to change that.

Any change begins with awareness. Pay attention to what works, what doesn’t work, and what needs to be tweaked in your life. 

The best way to do this is to make a list:
  • Are you even on your list?
  • What healthy foods did you eat this week?
  • Did you exercise or go for a walk?
  • How much water did you drink?
  • Did you do something today that gave you joy, something just for you, like reading a good book or getting a manicure or window shopping?
  • How many times did you meditate?

Seems like a tall order, doesn’t it? It did to me. With a busy work life and a family of five, I had no time in my day for taking care of “me.”

But I was determined to do this, so I kept trying. I knew I had to take daily loving action to changing my lifestyle, to make my self-care a priority, or I would never fully heal.

Then an amazing thing happened. I began to feel better about myself. I was shocked to discover self-care was helping me heal and it was making me healthier than I had ever been. I was probably even reversing some of the long term impact the abuse had on my body.

Slowly, I started to treat myself with the respect and love I deserved. The more self care I practiced, the stronger and more resilient I felt. It felt so good to finally know how to make myself healthy again. I was healing from the inside out.

You can do this too! Make today the day you take those first steps toward your own self-care. It won’t feel comfortable at first, but keep trying. You’ll be glad you did!

                                                                            ********

Is it hard for you to take time for yourself?  Do you struggle with the concept of loving self-care?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in Paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email to my weekly blog post, go here: http://www.educate4change.com and register on the homepage or in the popup box.

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How to Give Your Kids What You Never Had

9/11/2017

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As child abuse survivors, we work really hard to do the best we can with our children.  We want them to have what we didn’t.  So we try to create a healthy, nourishing environment to help our kids grow and thrive in the best way possible.  

But after working all day, sometimes there isn’t much left of us for our children.  That used to bother me a lot.  I felt like I wasn’t giving my kids 100% of what they needed from me.  

Finally, I realized I was trying to give them what “I” felt they needed, not what “they” feel they needed.  They didn’t need a mother who ran herself ragged every day, trying to be a supermom.  All they wanted was what I needed when I was a child: to be seen, heard, understood, and validated.  

How do you make this happen for your children?  

You simply do less and listen more.  In fact, the less you say the better.  Instead, listen intently to whatever your kids want to tell you.  Ask questions when appropriate and make encouraging, supportive comments like:

  • I hear you.
  • That sounds interesting.
  • What a great idea!
  • I would love to see you do that.
  • How can I support you?

When I was certified in Positive Discipline Parenting, I learned two more important parenting skills.

  1. The Iceberg.  
A child’s behavior is just the tip of the iceberg.  The rest of the iceberg is underwater and represents an unmet need that child’s behavior is trying to meet.  A parent’s job is to create a supportive environment in which all your children’s needs can be met in empowering, healthy ways.  

  1. Connect Before You Correct.  
Your first response to any troubling situation shouldn’t be to correct, advise, or suggest.  Instead, create a calm atmosphere in which your child feels safe to communicate his or her needs to you.  Then you can solve the problem together.

When you say less and listen more, your children open up and connect with you in amazing ways.  Best of all, when you honor them as unique and valuable individuals, you’re truly giving them what you never had.  

Mission accomplished!  
                                                        ********
Are you having trouble communicating with your children?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!
Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  Email list subscribers receive an email with a link to my weekly blog post and occasional special offers.  If you’d like to subscribe, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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WHY Do We Do What We Do?

7/17/2017

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This is such an important question.  In fact, it’s an integral part of your healing journey.  As survivors of child abuse and trauma, we must always ask “Why?”  

  • Why did I do that?  
  • Why did I say that?
  • Why did I think that?
  • Why am I feeling this particular emotion right now?  
  • Why is feeling this way important to me?

I help my clients answer these questions by teaching them how to feel their emotions and how to fall in love with themselves.  Nothing gives me more joy or satisfaction than showing them how to achieve this goal as quickly as possible.  The tools I give them are the same ones I use when faced with a challenge.  These are invaluable, timeless tools that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.

I often cry tears of happiness when my clients reach this point.  For example, most are awestruck at their ability to “feel” again.  After being numb for so long, they can finally feel good emotions.  They never thought they’d be able to do that again.  They thought they were too broken.  They weren’t.  

And neither are you.

I can totally relate to this.  When I began to feel again, it was a shocking moment for me.  I had no idea I could feel so much joy.  I never imagined I could feel so happy.  It was an overwhelming, awe-inspiring experience.  I thought I was incapable of feeling good emotions.  I wasn’t.

So keep asking yourself “Why?”  My relentless pursuit of the answer to this question in every area of my life is what led to my healing.  It took me to places deep inside me, dark places that needed to be healed.

It’ll be the same for you.  Pray about it.  Get God involved.  Question everything you think, feel, say, and do.  The path from Survivor to Thriver begins with one simple word: “Why?”
                                                           ********

Would you like to know how to feel your good emotions again?  Would you like to learn how to fall in love with yourself?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

​Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
Ph: 619-889-6366  
email: svava@educate4change.com
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