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Which Story Are You Telling?

5/22/2017

5 Comments

 
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Child abuse survivors don’t have just one story.  We have three.  

The first story is the one that takes the most courage to tell.  It’s the one about what happened to us.  It’s a story of trauma, abuse, and victimization.  We all have to start there.  This is your “Trauma Story.”  It’s important to realize this is actually a story about the abuser, the person who hurt you and betrayed your innocence, heart, and trust.

You can’t move forward with your healing until you acknowledge the impact of this traumatic experience.  And that includes allowing yourself to feel the emotional pain.  Telling this story is part of that.  

The second story we tell is our “Healing Story.”  It charts our path of survival.  This is a story about how we chose to rise above the abuse, trauma, shame, and betrayal of our dark past.  How we chose to claim our truth and lovingly care for ourselves.  How we chose to be safe in our bodies and set healthy personal boundaries with other people.  And how we chose to rescue, soothe, and validate ourselves.

If you’re not sure which story you’re telling, ask yourself these questions:
  • Do I fear being alone?
  • Do I need others to make me feel safe?
  • Do I often feel sad, depressed, or guilty?
  • Do I get angry with myself and others?

A survivor of child abuse is a work-in-progress.  The learning never stops.  If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, you’re telling your “Healing Story.”  You’re in the process of solving your major issues.  You’re taking responsibility for the things you can change, and you’re learning how to let go of the things you can’t change.  

Next, how would you answer these questions?
  • Do I trust my feelings?
  • Do I feel loveable and worthy of support?
  • Do I feel safe?

When you can answer “No” to the first set of questions and “Yes” to the second set, you’ve begun to tell your “Survivor to Thriver Story.”  You’re living your authentic self every day.  You’re writing your hero’s journey.  You’re intentionally creating the happy, healthy, joyous life of your dreams.  Wow, right?!

So think about it.  Which story are you telling today?
                                                             ********
Are you having a difficult time figuring out which story you’re telling and what step you should take next on your healing journey?  If so, I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!


​Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback 
(link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!



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How to Heal After You’ve Been Triggered

10/10/2016

4 Comments

 
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I was triggered last week.  Ugh!!

The healing journey is challenging and not for the faint of heart.  Even if you’ve been on your healing journey for years or decades, you can still be triggered in extreme situations.  Ouch!  

This time I was triggered by betrayal.  Not a new betrayal, but it felt like a fresh wound.  And it reminded me how the greatest hurt always comes from those we love.  

Child abuse is betrayal trauma.  When we’re abused by the people we love and trust, it makes us question our core truth.  Am I lovable?  Am I good enough to be alive, to breath, to find happiness, to be seen and heard?

I’ve come a long way.  I’ve learned how to heal, hold, and love the wounded, betrayed little girl inside.  I know I’m not broken.  I am lovable.  And I deserve to be alive, seen, and heard.

Because of this, when I was triggered last week, I knew what to do to heal.  I acknowledged the depth of my grief, I felt it fully, and then I set it free so it wouldn’t remain trapped in my body.

That’s what you should do, too, the next time you’re triggered.  Face your pain, acknowledge it, and listen for the lesson it teaches you about how to defuse that trigger once and for all.  Just ask.  The pain will tell you everything you need to know.

Then turn your vision for the happy, healthy life you’re building into an affirmation.  Say it all day long.  This is a wonderful way to ground your mind and emotions in the present moment by reminding yourself how far you’ve come and how much you’ve achieved on your healing journey.

Even though at this point in my life I’m thriving, blessed, and loved, I’ve learned a lot from this painful grief.  I can see I’m still too hard on myself.  I’m too quick to judge and condemn.  I need to be more loving, forgiving, and compassionate with myself.  I need to find a way to bring more love into my life.  

So that’s my task this week.  What can I say?  Love is always the Lesson! 
********
Are you struggling with pesky triggers?  Are you too quick to condemn yourself when you’re triggered?  Don’t worry.  I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
4 Comments

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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