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Manifesting Your Healing Goals for 2018

1/2/2018

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Happy New Year!   

Now that January is here, you’ve probably had a chance to review your progress in 2017. I want to celebrate you for your commitment to your healing. I know it can feel like two steps forward and one step back sometimes. So don’t just focus on what you didn't accomplish. That's not important. The only thing that matters is what you did accomplish. I know you had several victories in 2017 and I hope you celebrated them. If not, do that now. You deserve it!

Did you set a healing goal for 2018? 

It’s easy for abuse survivors to forget change is a growth process and part of healing is to learn to trust the process. 

Survivors often ask me if there’s a way to speed up the healing process. The fact that the healing journey takes so long can be frustrating, I know. Especially when you’re exhausted from struggling with the aftereffects of child sexual abuse, it can feel hard to believe sometimes that you too can reach those goals. You’re ready to change. You’re ready to heal. And you want it NOW! But ups and downs are a part of it. Learn to appreciate the yearly goals you reach, as well as the bumps in the road along the way. Each one appeared to teach you an important lesson that will lead you to future success.

If you haven't had a chance to write down your goals for 2018, I encourage you to do that today. Asking and intending for good things to happen is the quickest way for them to manifest.  

If there are too many and you feel overwhelmed, focus on just one thing. What is the most important goal you want to accomplish in 2018?  

It can be anything. What I have learned over the years is that the good stuff, like incorporating a healthy habit or learning a new skill, develops slowly over time. That’s because good changes occur in stages.
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Here’s what I mean. Change is initially a mental exercise, so the first stage is governed by willpower and excitement. In the second stage, you create a routine to support this new change, which helps you deal with emotional resistance. By the time you progress to the third stage, this new change has become a lifestyle or a new area of skill or strength. But that only happens after you confront and resolve each area of resistance you encounter in the second stage. You must look those fears in the eye, assure your inner child he/she is safe, and convince this child the new change is good, that he/she is is worthy of reaching that goal. Each one of us faces doubt and uncertainty on the way.  Only then can you make peace with the resistance and work through it each time you set a new goal or are making changes.

There’s no way around it. This entire process takes time. I suggest to my clients to create a long term plan and focus on one thing for the year. It may not take you a whole year to reach the goal, but if you’ve decided to do something kind for yourself every day for self-care, it helps to create a plan to manifest it. Then it’s just a matter of working on your plan until it becomes a new habit. 

You deserve everything GOOD in life. But it all starts with a goal, then a step by step plan, and then finding someone to support you along the way. Let 2018 be the year you manifest your most important goal. You can do this. Go for it! I hope you share it with us in the comments below. I believe in you.

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Confused about setting a healing goal for 2018? Not sure where to start?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you with the next step to heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW! 

Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”?  If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!


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Do You Know How Courageous You Are?!

4/23/2017

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Abuse and trauma survivors are incredibly strong people.  We know our strength is what helped us survive, and it’s what keeps us going now.  Yet we know something is missing.

This missing link is courage.  We know we’re strong.  But we’ve never allowed ourselves to realize that we’re also courageous people.  And we always have been.  

That’s because courage is risky.  The only thing we’ve ever wanted is what we never had as abused children: safety.  Risk makes you vulnerable.  No thanks, right?

Hey, I can relate.  I knew I was a strong person to have survived over a decade of child sexual abuse.  But courageous?  Me?  Nah, no way.  I was willing to work hard on my healing journey, but courage felt too risky and vulnerable.  Nope, that’s not me.

Somehow we can’t see courage in ourselves.  But it’s easy to see it in others.  And that’s where you need to start.  Think of someone you believe is not only strong but also courageous.  Adopt this person as your role model.

Next, think about what makes this person courageous?  It might be her fearless personal authenticity or her honesty.  Maybe he’s taken a stand against injustice by his actions or words.  Maybe she’s simply chosen the road less travelled.  What is it about this person that touches your heart and earns your admiration?

Guess what?  Whatever it is that makes this person courageous is a quality you also possess.  It’s true.  When you choose to heal from abuse and trauma, reach out for support, open yourself to others in an online group for survivors, talk about your past, or receive comfort from other survivors, that’s an act of courage.  

Allow the revelation of your courageousness to sink in.  When you do, you’ll discover courage is actually a source of safety.  Now it’s okay to let your guard down a little, ask for more support, love more, have more fun, and feel more gratitude for everything you’ve accomplished.  Why?  Because now you know you’re safe.    

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Is it impossible for you to believe you’re a courageous person?  Is courage a difficult concept for you to comprehend?  If so, I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot TODAY!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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How to Find Your Purpose on Earth

11/28/2016

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What’s the thing that makes you the happiest in life?  What makes your heart sing?  What makes you come alive?

Whatever it is, that’s your true purpose on earth!!

The healing journey is all about rediscovering and embracing your authentic self, which is the real YOU.  But reconnecting with your authentic self isn’t easy for us.  That’s because the most damaging aspect of child abuse is the way it distorts reality.

Here’s what I mean.  Infants spend nine months in the womb, intimately connected in every way to their mothers.  When we’re born, we learn how to trust our caregivers to nurture, love, and protect us.

Abused children don’t receive that from their caregivers.  This lack of nurturing creates unnecessary struggle in our lives.  We begin to think we’re the problem.  I mean, this must be true, or it wouldn’t be so hard to get our basic needs met by our caregivers, right?  

Wrong.

Struggle keeps us trapped in “Survival Mode.”  Life becomes all about obtaining the basics: safety, food, and sleep.  It prevents us from progressing to the next stage in our emotional development.  We never move beyond the basics of survival to explore who we are and our unique purpose in life.

That’s why the healing journey is so important.  It gives us the chance to grow up naturally and normally.  As adults, we become our own caregivers, nurturing and supporting ourselves through the next stage in our emotional development.

To do this, listen to your heart.  Then act on its response to these questions:

  • Who am I?
  • What makes me feel alive?
  • What do I love to do?
  • What makes my heart sing?

The answer to these questions is your gift to the world.  It’s your true purpose for being here.

The world needs more people courageous enough to honor their authentic self.  These people show us how to “live” our unique purpose on earth, because that’s exactly what they’re doing every day.  

Now you can, too.  How exciting!!  
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Is it difficult for you to hear what your heart is telling you?  Are you having a hard time making the transition from Survival Mode to exploring who you truly are and your unique purpose on earth?  If so, I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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What Do You Need to Hear the Most?

10/2/2016

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I don’t know about you, but after struggling for years with the devastating effects of abuse and trauma, this is what I needed to hear the most.  And I needed to hear it over and over again until I believed it:

  1. You can heal.
  2. You can restore.

How about you?  What do you need to hear the most?

It’s sad how desperately we struggle with the emotional pain caused by abuse.  In fact, the emotional and psychological abuse from these people, whom I loved and trusted, did more damage to me than the physical abuse.  

But I found a way to heal and restore, and so can you.  It begins with surrounding yourself with people you trust.  People who value you and your truth.  

In the beginning, I didn’t know how to do this.  I didn’t know who to trust, or what trust looked like.  I kept thinking if I changed the abusive people around me they would eventually see my worth and apologize for what they had done to me.  Then they would hold me, support me, and encourage me.  

Of course, this never happened.  Abusive people don’t suddenly wake up one day and see your value.  It doesn’t work that way.    

Instead, I had to do something that’s really hard for abuse survivors.  I had to cut all the toxic people out of my life.  Yikes!  But it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your healing.

Toxic people may never change.  It’s not your responsibility to heal them.  And you can’t heal yourself when surrounded by toxic people.  They’re incapable of supporting you or telling you the things you need to hear.  

Your only responsibility is to do what’s healthy for YOU.  That means surrounding yourself with good people who validate your worth, understand you, and support your healing journey.  They’re the only ones who can cheer you on and say the things you need to hear the most, over and over again.  Best of all, they mean those things.  They truly care.  

That’s how I healed myself.  I didn’t need fixing, and neither do you.  You just need validation and acceptance.  Cut all the toxic people out of your life.  Surround yourself with good, caring, supportive people.  Then you can heal yourself.  

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Are you struggling with how to cut toxic people out of your life?  Don’t allow them to cause more emotional pain!  I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Pay Attention to Your Red Flags!

5/30/2016

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Last week, I not only talked about how to love yourself but also how to love others.  Love and trust go hand in hand, especially for survivors of child sexual abuse.   

Trust is all about recognizing and paying attention to your inner warning system: red flags.  In order to survive your abusive past you had to disconnect from the truth.  You didn’t feel safe.  You didn’t trust the adults around you.  This was your truth.  But, even though you were up to your eyeballs in red flags, you had to ignore them to survive that abusive situation.  Eventually, this became one of your toxic coping skills.

However, now that you’re an adult, it’s time to “reactivate” your internal warning system.  Red flags are there for your protection.  Yes, it’s important to learn how to truly love yourself and others.  But that doesn’t mean everyone you meet is safe and worthy of your trust.

How do you learn to pay attention again?  What can you do if you’ve ignored your red flags for so long you don’t notice them?  

Don’t worry.  You may not notice all your red flags, but you do notice some.  Unfortunately, you’re in the toxic habit of reasoning them away.  When a red flag pops up you say, “Oh, I just imagined that” or “Oh, he/she isn’t THAT scary” or “I’m not happy about how he just hurt me, but he probably won’t do it again.”

No, you didn’t just imagine that.  Yes, he/she is that scary.  Yes, he probably will hurt you again.  Stop ignoring those warnings.  The minute a red flag appears over someone’s behavior, pay careful attention to it.  Your internal warning system is built on discernment (noticing red flags) and setting firm, healthy boundaries with the people in your life.  

Boundaries define the difference between your responsibilities as an adult and other people’s responsibilities as adults.  Everyone is supposed to do their part.  If someone crosses one of your boundaries or pressures you to cross a boundary, that’s a red flag.  

You can learn this.  It just takes time.  A good place to start is in an abuse survivor group, where you can practice reactivating your internal warning system.  Or if you have questions about red flags or setting healthy boundaries, let me know.  I’m here for you.  Always!
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Are you struggling with setting boundaries or noticing “red flags”?  I can help.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Trusting Yourself, Trusting God

3/13/2016

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Lately, I’ve realized trusting God isn’t one big goal you finally achieve, and then you’re done.  Instead, just when you think you trust God 100%, he reveals a bunch of small areas in which you should trust him, but you don’t.  Yikes!  

It's shocking, really, because you thought you trusted completely.  However, trusting God is a lifelong process.  Human nature is very complex in areas of trust, especially if you were an abused child.  We think we already know this, but we don't.

The same is true of your healing journey.  Trusting yourself doesn’t happen all at once.  It goes through stages.  This is because our childhood was shaped by distrust, trauma, and betrayal.  So we have to teach ourselves how to trust.  It takes a while.

Trust is about relationships: a relationship with yourself, a relationship with the world, a relationship with other people, and a relationship with God.  Trusting yourself leads to trusting God.  Eventually, you begin to feel like everything is going to work out, even the aspects of your life you can’t control.  You get to the point where you trust yourself enough to let go of those things, so you can trust in God’s plan for your life.

I was reminded of that last week when I drove across Oregon to provide facilitator training for Darkness to Light.  I had originally turned this invitation down because my schedule is just too full right now.  However, when I did, I felt a prompting in my spirit.  A few weeks later the invitation was offered again.  This time I accepted.  

The minute I arrived, I knew in my spirit I was supposed to be there.  That’s all I needed to know.  God has been teaching me to listen to those promptings in my spirit and to follow his guidance.  

Slowly, I’m learning that trusting God is much like trusting yourself.  The big difference is trusting God is a lifelong process.  It’s like reading a book with 10,000 pages in it, and every page is a small area of trust.  What a fun adventure, right?  I think so!

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Are you struggling with your healing journey?  I can help you take that next step.  Just follow (this link) to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
Ph: 619-889-6366  
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