Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

Dealing With Out-of-Control Emotions

4/17/2016

One of the hardest things for me to do on my healing journey was to comfortably acknowledge my feelings. I had no idea why I felt the way I did or how to express my emotions.

Like all survivors of child sexual abuse, I bounced back and forth between anxiety (fear of the future) and depression (sadness about my past). The abuse had taught me to shut down my emotions when faced with an uncomfortable situation.

But that toxic coping skill also kept me from enjoying the good feelings I experienced. I was imprisoned in a constant state of numbness. It’s no wonder my husband used to call me the “Ice Queen.” Yikes!

As a child, I was terrified of expressing my feelings. I knew it would just get me into trouble with the adults in my house. When I grew up, I was terrified of these trapped emotions. They were so intense I was afraid if I ever expressed them I’d lose control, start crying, and never stop.

On Thursday May 5th, my next FREE 90-minute webinar will go live. This one is about dealing with your emotions. In this webinar, you’ll receive information about:

How to recognize and express your feelings
How to correctly identify an emotion (real, learned, or perceived)
How to tell the difference between these three kinds of emotions
How to safely release pent-up emotional energy from sadness, anger, fear, etc.
The emotional benefits of mindfulness, journaling, inner child work
How to control your out-of-control feelings
How to explore, manage, and express emotions in a healthy way
Personal stories from my own life to show you how to do this
And much, much more!

Today, I can safely express a wide range of emotions. In fact, my husband has a new name for me. He calls me the “Queen of Hearts.” I’ve come a long way!

You can, too. If you’d like to learn how to deal with all your emotions (the good ones and the scary ones), join me on Thursday, May 5th, at 12:00noon (PST).

Save the date and I will send the link and access soon! Look forward to seeing you there!

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Are you struggling with your healing journey? I can help you take that next step. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!

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3 Comments

Tanya Momteiro link

4/19/2016 11:08:48 pm

Kristina

4/22/2016 05:29:44 am

Very hepful blog, thanks so much ! I can relate. Honestly, until some 4-5 years I thought I had emotions, but I did not know what it really is, I felt negative emotions only when someone died or later, when I was mistreated/lied to and I figure it out. I guess that many people must see me as "only in my head", (I like the "Ice-queen" :-), without any vulnerability -in my situation it allows to some people to take advantage of me, perhaps it looks like that " I will be ok with it" when I don´t react emotionally. I basically don´t mind, nothing happens in my inside (I was born in a country with emphasis on social hierarchy structures, where emotions conduct the way of social success, thus I became more and more isolated because I was closed down in my emotions). When I had my scholarships in more "rational countries in Europe", I felt more thriving, less pressure put on me.
I jumped into a depression, overwhleming feelings and lots of comping mechanism (I guess, I cannot identify them so far well) with the onset of a physical disease. I am afraid that those straight onset might to do also with a "bomb-shocking therapy" with a therapist I found that time who introduced me within 3-5 sessions into the horrors of my abusive past, suggested an immedite no-contact going and I took it seriously, but started to experience some torturing emotions I did not know what to do with, then got sick).
Since that time, several years already, I am in an emotional rollercoaster/anxiety, triggered very often, emotional fleshes from abuse, but also I feel the numbness/depression.
I want to cry (I usually feel better after it), but I can go weeks and
I cannot cry at all even though I listen to sad music etc.
So far, the best felt emotion by me was anger.
I also observe that I must run away from feeling it, in a safe way, and these are perhaps the coping mechanism that make me stay overwhelmed (stored emotional memoires from the past) and numb at the same time (I guess I am afraid, too, that if someone figures out my emotions, I will be punished, I will left alone, I will suffer even more..).
I also believe about myself that I am more brainy, in my head and that "I have been born this way"
(I have hard access to emotions)..but even though it would like this, I saw that truly brainy people don´t need to suffer from depression, anxiety and the fleshes from PTDS.

It sounds really beautiful : Queen of Hearts !

Looking forward to the webinar ! (will there be eventually any replay to catch up ?)

Svava

4/22/2016 10:59:16 am

Thank you for sharing Kristina, I am so glad this blog was helpful to you. We do what we can to survivor and it is a blessing but we can't keep going like that. I know the roller coaster very well. I am sorry you felt thrown into something you were not ready for. Support system is key and honoring your authentic healing journey and process. Sounds like you are doing a beautiful job already. I hear you - I believe in you. Please send me an email and I can give you some suggestions that you asked about. svava@educate4change.com

Dealing With Out-of-Control Emotions

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