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Discover Your Inner Superpower!

7/9/2016

10 Comments

 
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Child sexual abuse isn’t about sex.  It’s about power.  Because of this, survivors of child abuse often struggle with issues of personal power.  

You were hurt by someone who had authority over you at a time when you were so young you didn’t have enough power to stop the abuse.  You quickly learned your well-being was dependent upon not speaking up.  Child abuse forced you to give up your power, voice, and safety.

This is why many survivors end up in abusive relationships.  Even as adults, they don’t realize they can speak up for themselves, set healthy boundaries, and protect themselves from abusers.  Instead, they continue to suffer in silence.

Yet you do have power.  Lots of it!  To connect with that power, change the false inner belief that you’re powerless.

But what is your power?  It’s the ability to connect with any healthy, nourishing thing that makes you feel good about yourself.  The more you connect with these things, the more power you’ll rediscover within yourself.  

However, let me warn you.  Reconnecting with your power will upset the dynamic of your relationships.  No doubt about it.  Some of your family and friends will be thrilled for you.  Others will be horrified.

Don’t worry.  This happens to everyone.  Yes, I lost a few friends along the way.  I discovered the ones who stuck with me and supported me were the ones who truly loved and valued me.  The others only liked me if I bent over backwards to please them or take care of them.  Good riddance, right?

Today, all my relationships are healthy ones.  I have the power to take care of myself, to speak up when I need to protect a boundary, or to ask for help.  

You have this same power inside you.  Explore the truth of who you are, what makes you happy, what brings you joy, and what gives you peace.  Only when you do these things for yourself will you reconnect with your inner personal power.

Practice this kind of self-care and self-love every day.  Soon you’ll realize the power inside you isn’t just an average power.  It’s a superpower.  And it’s all YOURS!

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Are you struggling with issues of personal power?  If so, I can help you reconnect with the amazing, superpower inside you.  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/

10 Comments
Beverly Sartain link
7/12/2016 08:18:28 am

Love this message! It took some time to find my personal power. I kept giving it away or wanting other's to fix "the mess." Once I learned to tap into my own "super power," I was able to take self-responsibility. Thanks for sharing this powerful message!

Reply
Svava
7/13/2016 02:39:59 pm

You are welcome Beverly. I am so glad you found your super-power!! You are a powerful person with an important message. Much Love!!

Reply
Jen
7/12/2016 09:51:31 am

I either isolate or desperately attach. Fear is the driver in both instances. All of my struggles are with female relationships. I have all the head knowledge for healthy relationships and boundaries since I've been in counseling. So many areas in my life have an incredible resolve; except in the category of attachment dysfunction. The layers of the onion have been peeled away so far and now I'm stuck at this core belief that I can't get close with a female or if this line has been crossed, I become obsessed out of fear of abandonment. A little history..... When I was young (over 4 under 6); I was molested during a 4 or 5 year period by an older girl (7-8 years older). A neighbor's granddaughter. In high school I was raped by a man and again my freshman year of college. I lived a very promiscuous lifestyle until I met my husband. Once married a switch turned and my husband couldn't touch me and through the years have also feared lesbianism. The only 3 people I trust right now are my 2 counselors, whom I am desperately attached to and my husband.

Reply
Svava
7/13/2016 02:49:09 pm

Sorry to hear about your struggle. I hear you my friend, you are not alone in this. Sounds like you have some great awareness about this and the dynamics it plays out in your relationships. That is a big step. I too struggled with trusting both men and women and finally worked through that with my husband. I am glad you have support from your husband and therapist. Keep going my friend. Don't give up on being there for the little girl that is inside of you and learning how to trust again. Thank you so much for sharing and I am sending you lots of love.

Reply
Cheryll
7/12/2016 12:53:34 pm

Svava,
Greetings from the desert. I'm not sure if your coaching includes business decisions. I have been doing volunteer work teaching caregivers of traumatized children, which includes many kinds of abuse. Haven't been teaching Stewards but took the new training and would like to start teaching the program again. I need to monetized all the training into a business that will provide extra income. I'm loving the new variety of healthy services you provide for everyone and would love to pick your brain. I'm not wanting to duplicate what your doing but would enjoy getting suggestions and ideas for a business makeover. Let me know if this works for you and if I should sign up on the regular appointment schedule.
Blessings,
Cheryll Young

Reply
Svava
7/13/2016 02:51:38 pm

Hi friend,

Good to hear from you Cheryll. I would suggest finding a facilitator training near you, to sit in on for review. I am happy to take a quick call from you - the best way to connect is through my calendar.

Look forward to hearing from you.
Much Love
Svava

Reply
Elena
7/13/2016 08:52:59 am

This is a beautiful message and one that I am learning over time. It seems that I continue to make progress in the right direction but the wanting to be loved has greatly superseded the wanting to be respected and treated right in the past. I am realizing more and more how important it is for me to learn to be OK and even enjoy being single in order to create the foundation for a truly harmonious relationship down the road. Thank you for this great post.

Reply
Svava
7/13/2016 02:57:11 pm

Hi friend, Thank you - glad you liked it. It is something that we learn over time, especially if we did not learn how to love ourselves growing up. Sounds like you are on the right track - I believe in you! Much Love

Reply
Trying to heal
7/14/2016 05:10:45 am

Hi svava,thank you for your newsletters etc. This idea of power is true but the eye opener for me is to stop expecting others to set the boundries abd get me out ofcthis mess. Im trying to heal fron my fathers 20 years of sextual abuse but my husband not only doesnt support me he also perpetuate s it! Speakjng up makes it worse! All the hrs and hard work with my therapist on trust and self worth can be squshed by his harsh words at any moment! With a large family of children and grandchildren i dont have or want a way out! I chuckle at the thought of having only healthy relationships -will i ever be so lucky???????

Reply
Kristina
7/18/2016 05:17:27 am

Thank you, Svava, very informative and empowering !
I recognise that I learned that my well-being dependended upon not speaking up. I gave up my power, my identity, my safety.

Several years ago, when I started to stop overgiving, I lost some friends. Then I fell sick, I lost other friends (I could have not give anymore). Sometimes it happened when I stand up for myself and challenged the promises (that never happened)...I was attacked back, one wanted me to do something, to continue be the same. When I refused, the "friend" disappeared. I stayed alone, but definitely not lonely. I feel much better today when I don´t overgive.
Similar with the family, however, here, it is far more difficult.

It sounds very good to find the power in connecting to healthy, nourishing things that make me good about myself !
I try to talk to my inner girl, or do some heart-lockmeditations. It seems to feel good about myself (a suprise, I thought not to be dwelling in emotions). I am truly not much aware of what makes me happy, what brings me joy and brings me peace (I must work on it...and stick with it, as I usually did what was needed, work for others....). E.g. watching TV news does not bring me peace, listening to complaints of other people (esp. the abusive ones) either not, listening how other people are great, what holidays they went on etc, either does not brings me any joy. Overperfecting, speeding my mind, being in fear, either brings me any joy.
Today, I put my hands in water basin in the garden and was playing with the water, and I stroked a sick chicken -it definitely brought me joy. Sitting on the sunshine, calm my body and mind and try to be present, also brings me joy.

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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