I understand completely. I had the same problem for decades. I didn’t know how to love myself either. But now I do, and teaching my clients this important skill is one of the things I love most about my work.
Why is self-love so confusing for child abuse survivors? Loving yourself is a skill every child is born with. So it should be easy, right?
Not for us. Our survival as children depended upon our parents or caregivers. Because we weren’t adults, we couldn’t walk away from this abusive relationship. Instead, in order to maintain it, someone had to be the bad guy. It couldn’t be our caregivers, so it had to be us.
Don’t worry if this is the story you created to survive the abuse. It’s a normal coping mechanism. Almost all children in abusive homes create this story.
However, this toxic story is what shaped your view of yourself and the world. If we think we’re bad, then all we see is bad, and all we feel is bad. This is our basic core belief.
How do you change that? The solution is simpler than you think. You just focus on the good every day.
Here are some statements of truth to help you change your focus. I’ve listed several suggestions in parenthesis.
- I am grateful for ______ (my health, my willingness to heal, my children, my pets, etc.).
- I am good at ______ (surviving, helping others, listening, folding laundry, my job, etc.).
- What makes me feel good is ______ (a hot bath, reading, playing with my pet, etc.).
- I know I am loved by ______ (my children, my pets, my partner, my adult self, etc.)
Practice these statements of truth every day. Eventually, if you’re persistent with them, you’ll slowly begin to feel more positive about yourself and your life. Why? Because YOU are the creator of your life. YOU are responsible for your happiness.
Can you feel the freedom, peace, and power in that? Wow, what a blessing!
Is it so difficult for you to love yourself that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t do it? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY!
Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!
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