The reason why you, as an adult, always feel hurt by others is not necessarily because those other adults actually are hurting you. It is because your inner child is hurting and is seeking that validation all the time, in good ways and bad. The part of you that needs your validation is your hurt and your hurt is being fed by your inner child.
You were just a child and might have even depended on the person that hurt you. This betrayal sets you up for expecting the worst from those that are closest to you. And therefore we often choose never to risk letting anyone in, in the first place... since you believe it is just a matter of time before the betray you.
I did not find a way to break my silence and get the help I needed until I was in my twenties. I had struggled with isolation and depression because it felt very risky to open up to people, to let them in. I was very social but I did not know how to connect on a deep, meaningful level. I didn't understand it then, but what I was hiding was my shame. When we feel that we are bad or shameful, we live our life on guard, always defensive and expecting the worst.
The hard part is for us to become aware of how present this core but false belief is in your life. I would like to invite you to consider that deep inside there is a hurt little child that is asking for your help, that needs your help. And I remember in the beginning, the idea of connecting with my little girl was scary. The feelings and the hurt were big and felt too big for me to handle at first. The sadness, the anger, the loneliness, feeling so unlovable. Yikes, I can still remember how hard those feelings felt.
Here is the good news. The feelings are big but not as big as you think. They only feel big because that inner child is little, but you are not, not anymore.
But this inner child is the source of most of your pain, anxiety, and depression. It is the part of you that desperately needs you to learn to know and feel your feelings in a healthy way and let that sad little child feel the feelings while you lovingly listen, seeing and feeling everything he/she needs to let go of the hurt.
When I learned to hold, validate, and love my little girl, it was as if someone had put me into a different world. It did take time but slowly it felt like people were more loving towards me and I had an easier time setting boundaries and saying no. When I connected with this precious part of myself, I wanted to protect her, love her, stay healthy for her, and help her express the truth that she had been denied for so long.
So whether this is your first visit to my blog or the twentieth, I hope this empowers you to dig deeper and start to connect with your wounded little self. That is the part of you that holds your light and all of your many the gifts to the world. It is worth exploring what gifts he/she can bring to your life if you let him/her.
I would love to hear how you are doing with your emotions and what feeling you find the hardest to express. If you are not sure how to do that or where to start, I am doing a webinar this week that I know will help you get started on learning about inner child work and learning how to love yourself after abuse.
Here is the link to register for the webinar.
Want to be learn more about your inner child or how to feel your feelings in a safe way? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!
Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!
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