It’s important for survivors of child abuse and trauma to find a productive way to validate and express emotional pain. All of it. You can’t heal completely until you acknowledge how devastating it is to be abandoned, neglected, and ignored as a child.
When I began this validation process, I decided to become an advocate and speaker. I gave lots of talks about child sexual abuse, my past, and how to keep kids safe from predators.
This was the platform I had chosen to tell my story, and it was an important step in my healing process. However, I wasn’t aware I was still looking for someone to appear out of nowhere and fix the chaos I felt inside. Because of that, I had a tendency to overwhelm people with my message.
Even so, that was a very healing time for me, and I learned a lot from the experience. I felt vindicated by all the people listening to my story. Especially those who expressed sadness in response to what had happened to me. I also learned how to take responsibility for the impact of my words.
I’m incredibly grateful for all the people who heard me speak back then. They helped me heal. They listened and validated my pain. They kept open hearts and showered me with empathy and compassion.
Your pain will help you heal, too. Every time you tell your story to a safe friend you’ll learn how to connect with others and yourself.
Today, when I’m invited to speak I mention the pain from my past, but I focus most of my message on hope, healing, and the love I carry in my heart for myself and others.
There’s no room for pain in my life anymore. One day there won’t be room for pain in your life, too. Keep telling your story, and that day will arrive sooner than you think!
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