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How to Make Peace with Your Emotions

1/8/2017

4 Comments

 
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You can’t heal from abuse or trauma without learning how to feel your emotions.  For someone who has never experienced abuse, what I just said must sound weird.  Doesn’t everyone know how to feel their feelings?  No, they don’t.  Not us.

This is especially true for child abuse survivors.  We grew up unprotected, watching violence, listening to violence, and experiencing violence.  The only way to survive this type of toxic environment was to shut down any awareness of the raging emotions inside us.  It wasn’t safe to express our emotions.  It wasn’t safe to talk about our emotions.  It wasn’t safe.

When I began my healing journey, I had no idea how deeply I had suppressed all my emotions.  I was completely unaware of the repressed sadness, grief, outrage, and anger festering inside me.  

As my awareness grew, I could see how shame had crippled almost every area of my life.  For example, I’ll never forget the time I was arguing with my husband.  At one point I was no longer making sense.  All I cared about was being right.  Suddenly, I realized this was shame rearing its ugly head.  I stopped arguing and told my husband he was right.  And he was.  

Practice feeling your emotions by becoming aware of your body.  That’s the best place to start.

Scan your body.  Do you feel discomfort, tightness, or stress anywhere?  Where is it in your body?  Focus on the emotion in that area until you can name it.  Then feel it.  

Is this emotion a response to something that just happened?  Or is it a response to a situation from the past?  Emotions from the past are stored as trapped energy in the body.  They need to be acknowledged and released by gently allowing them to move through you.  Let them go.    

Make peace with your emotions.  Practice finding, feeling, and releasing them in a healthy way.  Soon you’ll discover a wonderful truth: your emotions are your friends.  
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Is it difficult for you to feel all of your emotions?  Is the thought of doing this just too overwhelming to consider?  If so, I can help!  Follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you heal your life.   

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4 Comments
J
1/11/2017 07:02:19 am

I love this post! My feelings are valid and it's okay to feel how I feel - even if someone feels differently.

I am learning, trauma doesn't heal unless I allow myself to feel emotions. I was in an abusive relationship for years and have finally started healing, then recently was diagnosed with breast cancer. This validation of my feelings helped me get through this past year and now I am on the other side of cancer. This year, my goal is to let go of unrequited fears.

Reply
Svava
1/12/2017 09:09:23 am

Hi J - I am so glad this blog post found you. Yes you got it - our feelings are always valid, they are yours. Sounds like you are doing a beautiful job of healing and supporting yourself on a challenging journey. What a warrior you are. I am honored to connect with you. I love your goal for this year.... you got it. I believe in you!! Thank you!!

Reply
LIly
1/14/2017 07:31:49 am

Thank you so much for this post! I need almost constant reassurance that it's okay to let myself feel everything that arises as I practice somatic meditation and yoga. The more I can feel and move through my feelings, the freer and happier I feel.

Reply
Svava
1/15/2017 02:58:58 pm

You are welcome Lily. I am so glad to hear you have made the connection and are practicing some tools that help you manage your emotions, connect and feel them, and grow stronger and happier. Yay!! Thank you for sharing.

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Educate4Change
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