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How to Overcome Toxic Resistance

2/27/2017

2 Comments

 
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Here’s a good question. Why do we resist the things that are good for us? This happens to everyone, but it’s especially challenging for abuse and trauma survivors. 


For example, you know how much I love and believe in the healing benefits of TRE. Yet in the beginning, there was a part of me that resisted it. I’m always amazed when this happens. Why would I resist something so healthy, something that makes my body and heart sing? It makes no sense! 


Actually, resistance is just the body’s normal response to change. Any kind of change activates the part of you responsible for keeping you safe. It knows how to create safety for you, and it sees no reason to rock the boat. 


Most of the time that’s a good thing. It certainly kept us alive as abused children. But sometimes resistance can be toxic. 


Last fall, I was the keynote speaker at an empowerment conference in Oregon. I chose self-compassion as my topic. It’s a major key to healthy change. As I was talking, I suddenly realized everyone in the room had stopped breathing. My body noticed this energy shift first. Then my brain acknowledged it. 


“How many of you are holding your breath?” I asked. Most smiled and nodded in agreement. Some even laughed. 


This is toxic resistance. Most of us have no problem treating others with compassion. Yet we resist being kind to ourselves. 


How do you overcome toxic resistance to healthy change? You’ll notice it first in your body. Something won’t feel “right.” When you acknowledge it, toxic resistance loses its power over your life. 


As you can imagine, what happened that day fascinated me. Think about it. My body knew the energy in that room had shifted, and I felt it in my body before my brain processed it. That’s how committed our bodies are to keeping us safe. Wow, right? 


Tap into this the next time you feel uncomfortable about making a healthy change in your life. Train that protective part of you to work with you rather than against you on your healing journey. Learning how to overcome toxic resistance is a great place to start! 

                                                             ******** 

Are you struggling with toxic resistance to healthy change in your life? Is it preventing you from moving forward on your healing journey? If so, I can help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100 per hour). Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot TODAY! 


Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”? If you’re ready to heal from the effects of abuse or trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading! 


Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
2 Comments
Joan
2/28/2017 06:56:00 am

Hi Svava, When you say to acknowledge the toxic resistance, does that mean saying something like "resistance"? Would it be helpful to say or do anything else? Thank you.

Reply
Svava
2/28/2017 11:51:44 am

Hi Joan, that is such a good question. Yes you can speak to the feeling of resistance by calling it what it is or you can ease into it by putting your hand on your heart and speak to it gently like you would a dear friend. Hi....... I know why you are here. Thank you for looking out for me. I know you have worked so hard to keep me safe. Perhaps take a couple of breath and notice how your body responds to that, you might feel a softening in your body, or more resistance. Depending on what you feel/sense be intentional about being open and kind to this part.

You want it on your side so you can slowly loosen the grip or the resistance. Assure your "resistance/feeling or the hold in your body" that you know it is there and why.

Like any long term trusting relationships this takes time, commitment and consistency. Then ask your resistance what it needs from you? And be willing ...as long it is not harmful. It is usually a validation or attention and learning to trust that you will start to handle the scary, hard, sometimes overwhelming adult life and feelings that might come up around change.

I hope this helps Joan. It often helps to have someone guide you through this process in the beginning until we learn to navigate on our own so don't hesitate to reach out if you need more support.

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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