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Not Tonight, Honey!

8/24/2015

4 Comments

 
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Being the victim of child sexual abuse really messes up your sex life as an adult.  No need for me to tell you that, right?

Unfortunately, when it comes to sex, our society tends to sway from one extreme to the other, adding to the confusion.  This tendency is especially true in the love relationships of the survivors of child sexual abuse.  Some have no desire for sex.  Others overdose on it, becoming aggressively sexual.  There seems to be no middle ground.

Many of you are struggling in every area of your love relationship.  Sexual intimacy is no exception.  It can be a HUGE source of frustration, hopelessness, and anger for you and your partner.  

Here’s why.  You may not realize this, but you’re not the one showing up in the bedroom every night.  It’s your wounded child.    

As a child, you were introduced to sex long before you knew what it was or had the emotional maturity to handle it.  That experience did terrible damage to you in the area of intimacy.  All you know is toxic sex.  Yikes!

That makes it impossible for you to build a healthy sexual relationship with your partner.  You don’t even know where to start.

You can’t correct this on your own.  Your wounded child feels responsible for the sexual area of your life.  This child is saturated with shame, fear, and pain of all kinds.  You’ll have to develop a strategy to gently move this precious child out of the way, so you can show up in the bedroom as an adult.  You’ll need professional help to do that.

Just remember, this situation isn’t your fault.  You were trained to view sexual intimacy in a toxic way.  But you’re no longer a child.  You can learn how to build a healthy sex life with the one you love.  

Hey, if I can do it, so can you!

If you’d like to talk more about the intimacy issues you’re struggling with, schedule a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me.  Sexual intimacy is a difficult issue.  But you’re not alone.  You’ve got me, and I’m happy to listen.  Call me anytime!

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Are you a survivor of childhood abuse or trauma?  Are you stuck on your healing journey?  Is your marriage or love relationship a mess?  If so, I’d be happy to teach you how to fix that.  Follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a FREE 30-minute session with me.  My calendar is filling up fast with these sessions, so don’t wait.  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Are you on my email list?  If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
4 Comments
Debbie
8/25/2015 04:56:53 pm

I love this, Svava. I can't wait for Little Debbie to grow up and know she's safe. Thank you for this hope. :)

Reply
Svava
8/26/2015 02:26:04 am

Hi Debbie, I am glad you are finding hope in this blog post - Keep connecting with Little Debbie - and she will start to feel safe. Sending you lots of love.

Reply
Anita
8/26/2015 07:34:07 am

Thank you so much for posting this
I just brought this issue up with my therapist... She said reaching this point is an advanced step in the healing process... I struggle with staying present in the here and now during intimacy, the coping mechanisms of turning off certain parts of my body back them to not feel anything especially the pain but also the pleasure my body had no option but to feel, and not being able to accept and what I truly deserve in my sexual intimacy

Reply
Svava
8/27/2015 04:16:06 am

You are welcome Anita, Your therapist is correct - you are doing great to be ready to start to explore healing this aspect of your life. Sounds like you already have a great awareness of yourself, and that is half the battle. Know that you are not alone, keep working through this with your therapist and you will feel the shift. You are doing great! Thank you for your comment - I really appreciate that. Much love to you - SB

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Svava Brooks
Educate4Change
Dedicated to Ending the Cycle of Child Sexual Abuse
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