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Self-Care Is a Vital Part of the Healing Journey

11/6/2017

4 Comments

 
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Focusing on your health is important as you heal after trauma.

I had learned a lot about trauma. I understood the impact but having been fortunate with a healthy body, the long term impact had not showed up in my biology except for very painful migraine headaches and depression. But the toxic level of stress I had lived with my whole life had not registered yet.

Back then, my self-care mostly consisted of numbing the pain. It just hurt too much to think about it. I was in too much pain and too ashamed of what had happened to me. In the process, I had completely disconnected from myself and my needs. This strategy worked, and it worked for a while.

Adding self-care to my life was difficult because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted and needed. I was really hard on myself about this, too. It was embarrassing. I was a grown woman, but I didn’t know how to care for myself in a loving way. I did not know what it looked and felt like to kindly take care of Svava. Does this sound like you?

However, I was very skilled at taking care of family and friends. I knew what they needed and I would go out of my way to make sure those needs were met. I always put them first, often at the expense of my own self-care. It was much easier to focus on other people.

Do you ignore your own needs and focus only on the needs of others? I’ve been there, I understand, and I’m here to tell you that you can start to change that.

Any change begins with awareness. Pay attention to what works, what doesn’t work, and what needs to be tweaked in your life. 

The best way to do this is to make a list:
  • Are you even on your list?
  • What healthy foods did you eat this week?
  • Did you exercise or go for a walk?
  • How much water did you drink?
  • Did you do something today that gave you joy, something just for you, like reading a good book or getting a manicure or window shopping?
  • How many times did you meditate?

Seems like a tall order, doesn’t it? It did to me. With a busy work life and a family of five, I had no time in my day for taking care of “me.”

But I was determined to do this, so I kept trying. I knew I had to take daily loving action to changing my lifestyle, to make my self-care a priority, or I would never fully heal.

Then an amazing thing happened. I began to feel better about myself. I was shocked to discover self-care was helping me heal and it was making me healthier than I had ever been. I was probably even reversing some of the long term impact the abuse had on my body.

Slowly, I started to treat myself with the respect and love I deserved. The more self care I practiced, the stronger and more resilient I felt. It felt so good to finally know how to make myself healthy again. I was healing from the inside out.

You can do this too! Make today the day you take those first steps toward your own self-care. It won’t feel comfortable at first, but keep trying. You’ll be glad you did!

                                                                            ********

Is it hard for you to take time for yourself?  Do you struggle with the concept of loving self-care?  Don’t worry.  I can help!  Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100).  Let me help you heal your life.  Reserve your spot NOW!

Have you read my bestselling book, “Journey to the Heart”?  If you’re ready to heal from the effects of trauma (depression, anxiety, PTSD, allergies, chronic pain, etc.), this book is for YOU!!  You’ll find it at Amazon in Paperback (link) or Kindle (link).  Enjoy and happy reading!

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4 Comments
Matthew Gyamtso
11/7/2017 05:28:57 am

The pattern of becoming a carer or expert in supporting others, whilst not practicing proper self-care is quite prevalent amongst survivors. I suspect it is a way of soothing psychological wounds without actually addressing them - it often seems to be combined with inner anger or rage against injustice.

Your description is very familiar - as is the sense of healing "from the inside out" that comes with practicing self-care.

It's not selfish to look after yourself, quite the opposite: the greater your ability to care for your own needs grows, the more effective efforts to help others becomes too.

Reply
Svava
11/27/2017 12:46:04 pm

Hi Matthew, I hear you.. And I realized I needed to walk my talk in order to stay healthy enough to serve others. I also feel that people sense it, if you are not actually following your own advice. The blessing was, like you shared, that the more I loved and cared for myself, the more I have more to give to others. I was a little shocked by it when I realized it but it is one of those things we don´t know until we try it on our own skin or in our own body. Thank you for your comment. I appreciate you... Kindly, Svava

Reply
Marie McCarthy link
11/7/2017 07:13:56 am

Excellent writing on self care! I just ordered your book & cant wait to read it. I'm a survivor & a psychotherapist specializing in trauma recovery. I'll be referring clients to your supportive web site. I also participated in one of your summits. It was educational, validating and comforting. Thank you for all you do to reach out a hand to survivors.

Reply
Svava
11/7/2017 09:59:54 am

Thank you Marie for your note. I am so happy to hear you ordered my book. Look forward to hearing what you think about it.

You are not alone. I have a number of therapists that refer their clients to my blog and my book. It truly warms my heart that my hopeful message is getting out to those that need it.

Thank you again and for all that you do.
Much love.

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Educate4Change
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