As you can imagine, it hasn’t always been a bed of roses for us. Those early years were rough. REALLY rough!
The turning point came when we finally learned how to be friends. We had no idea how to be kind, understanding, or gently reassuring. Instead, we were so hard on each other it felt like we were pouring salt in each other’s wounds. Ouch!
Fortunately, we got the help we needed. We learned how to be accountable for all the ways we respond to each other. Now we no longer expect the worst.
We both came from abusive homes, so trust was a big issue for us. As a survivor of child sexual abuse, I couldn’t trust David when he tried to be there for me. I didn’t believe he had good intentions. No one ever had in my past.
When you’re healing from child sexual abuse, you don’t know what to expect on your healing journey from day to day. Learning how to express your feelings is a new experience, and it’s tough. All those bottled up emotions come pouring out: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s intense for you and your partner.
Some days I wanted him to stay. Some days I wanted to be alone. But with counseling and support, we made it. I learned how to ask for what I needed, even during those times when all I could say was, “Honey, I’m having a meltdown right now…I just need to cry…don’t worry…you didn’t do anything wrong…it’s not your fault…just hold me if you can… tell me everything is going to be okay.
Today, our relationship is amazing. We don't argue. We don't bicker. We’re the best of friends. We practice being compassionate, gentle, and kind to each other.
We’re at peace.
If you’re married and struggling with how to communicate to your partner about your healing journey, I’m happy to help. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to book a FREE, 30-minute coaching session with me. I have very limited availability right now, but if you’re ready to invest in your healing and your marriage, I look forward to chatting with you! You can take a look at my availability now.
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