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Trusting Yourself, Trusting God

3/13/2016

6 Comments

 
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Lately, I’ve realized trusting God isn’t one big goal you finally achieve, and then you’re done.  Instead, just when you think you trust God 100%, he reveals a bunch of small areas in which you should trust him, but you don’t.  Yikes!  

It's shocking, really, because you thought you trusted completely.  However, trusting God is a lifelong process.  Human nature is very complex in areas of trust, especially if you were an abused child.  We think we already know this, but we don't.

The same is true of your healing journey.  Trusting yourself doesn’t happen all at once.  It goes through stages.  This is because our childhood was shaped by distrust, trauma, and betrayal.  So we have to teach ourselves how to trust.  It takes a while.

Trust is about relationships: a relationship with yourself, a relationship with the world, a relationship with other people, and a relationship with God.  Trusting yourself leads to trusting God.  Eventually, you begin to feel like everything is going to work out, even the aspects of your life you can’t control.  You get to the point where you trust yourself enough to let go of those things, so you can trust in God’s plan for your life.

I was reminded of that last week when I drove across Oregon to provide facilitator training for Darkness to Light.  I had originally turned this invitation down because my schedule is just too full right now.  However, when I did, I felt a prompting in my spirit.  A few weeks later the invitation was offered again.  This time I accepted.  

The minute I arrived, I knew in my spirit I was supposed to be there.  That’s all I needed to know.  God has been teaching me to listen to those promptings in my spirit and to follow his guidance.  

Slowly, I’m learning that trusting God is much like trusting yourself.  The big difference is trusting God is a lifelong process.  It’s like reading a book with 10,000 pages in it, and every page is a small area of trust.  What a fun adventure, right?  I think so!

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6 Comments
Cher Perry
3/15/2016 09:10:00 am

I needed to hear this today. I just started attending church again after over a decade. I associate the church with my father, my abuser. The music is a trigger for me, and I also deal with a lot of control issues. It is hard for me to let go and learn to pray instead of stressing over the things I can't control. Thank you, Svava!

Reply
Svava
3/15/2016 06:15:01 pm

I am glad this found you today! I understand the challenge to deal with the things that trigger us, even the things that we appreciate about life. Take your time, be gentle with yourself and remember, one page at the time. You are doing awesome, thank you for sharing and you are so very welcome. Much Love.

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Anthony
3/15/2016 12:31:02 pm

Indeed; timely input. The person who sexually abused me was a priest; essentially, a wolf in God's clothing embedded in the secrecy of an institutional church. For me, I feel like the closer I get to the God I believe in the further I feel removed from "the church". For me, the disconnect is real. I have plans to speak with Mary Dispenza, author of the book titled Split: Memoir of Sexual Abuse by a Priest, on Thursday regarding this concept of closeness to God in the absence of an institution. Pray for peace -

Reply
Svava
3/15/2016 06:20:54 pm

I hear you Anthony, that is another dimension of healing. Glad that you have found a resource and support on that. Happy you are working with God, because it were people that hurt you, not God. I am deeply connected to God today and that has been because of my healing journey, not because of a church that I attended. God and his love lives in you, always. Sending you love, light and prayers. Thank you for sharing. Much Love.

Reply
Sara
3/15/2016 01:53:02 pm

best wishes to the brave souls here together on this journey. we are in this together. we will keep turning shadows into light. <3 <3 <3

Reply
Svava
3/15/2016 06:21:53 pm

Thank you Sara, yes we are in this together, bringing light into the darkness. <3

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Svava Brooks
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