Blog About Healing and Recovery after Child Sexual Abuse

What’s Your Passion in Life?

8/7/2016

Our passion is our fuel. It’s what keeps us going no matter how many challenges come our way. Our passion also protects us. As long as we’re pursuing it, we don’t care what other people think about it, or if we’re doing it perfectly.

Why? Because what we’re passionate about gives us joy.

I’ve been thinking about this lately. Regardless of how my passion evolves from year to year, “hope” has always been the common thread. That’s because I’m a survivor of child sexual abuse.

Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Think about it. When a child is abused by someone that child loves and depends on, the child will create a story in which the abuse is really the child’s fault, not the fault of the parent or guardian.

We know all about that, don’t we? It’s the only way we could survive the horrors of abuse. That story gave us hope. It promised us if we could just be better and do better the abuse would stop. Of course, that never worked. It’s not reality.

Still, that story trained me to hope. It drove me to do whatever I could to improve myself and my situation. As an adult, I applied that same strategy to my healing journey. It became my passion. I kept pushing forward, confident the next book, support group, speaker, video, or webinar would be the key to a big breakthrough. And it was. Every single breakthrough on my healing journey happened exactly that way.

As I changed, my passion changed. I became passionate about helping others as an Advocate, Speaker, and Coach. I want to teach everyone how to heal and how to keep kids safe from child sexual abuse.

Now “love” is my passion. We can never stop the violence in our society until we learn how to truly love ourselves. Only then can we love others in a healthy way.

What’s your passion? If you’re on a mission to seek your truth, you’re on the right path. You’ll never go wrong if you follow your heart. Every step of the way will be a joy. You’ll see!!

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3 Comments

Kristina

8/10/2016 07:12:09 am

Thank you, Svava, that you talk about passion.
This topic makes me sad. The PTDS took my passion and joy away or it somehow keeps it imprisoned in a cage. It is life with depression.
Before the onset of the PTDS, I was very passionate about many things in my life, I probably knew no boredome. I learn it about me now that some people have this natural personality). Maybe some unhappy people thought I was running over them.
I was not aware about my passion, I thought it was normal for everybody. Many people abused it, used it (perhaps they were envious of this childhish joy of life I had), made fun.
I was even made fun in the psychotherapy that I was too "controlling, pushy, too eager, too much" . I think that I was just passionate about my healing, about my life, about learning anything new if needed (not that learning about disease is such a fun, but..it is the passion for healing, as you say, Svava).
I don´t think so that I was like a buldozer running over other people with my passion (only over not-.good fit people).
Since the PTDS, I feel like my passion of life had been sucked out of me or that some people would like to tame or make me wrong for my passion. This is very painful. Lots of shame for my existance.

Before, I was passionate about finding a husband, and love in general (and was with a narcissist/borderline guy until I escaped him): he told me that it was never bad to follow its heart.
I am sure that he had been stolen consciously my life joy, my emotions, my precious life time. Thus, I felt that my passion in love was crushed.
Lately, I figured out that in my family, the women practised to crush down my passion of my body, the joy of having a body. My passion for body, also for the feminine body image, was crushed very early in life.
Meanwhile, there was my passion (and hard work) for a work for a PhD (I had a wish to teach at the university) crushed by a wrong supervisor. I figure out today that I had been many times crushed in a way that "I was stupid" and could never effort to have an intelectual occupation.
Then, I felt being taken away my passion in healing efforts in the psychotherapy.

I am afraid that I lost my passion and I cannot find it, and if I could after lots of hard work, then someone will steal it from me.
Lots of fear of having taken the passion away from me.

Thus, I train things that I have the passion for secretely.
I must learn to learn who is safe and who not, where I can show my passion, where to rather be calm and think beforehand. I might not need to tell to anybody everything about me and my desires, eventually weak spots right away. I ´d rather learn to protect my passion and my joy.

On the other hand, if I did not met people who crushed me, I would not be much conscious about what gives me joy and passion.
I would not consider my body and emotions as something it does exist.
Before the PTDS, I thought that my life was ok, I did not need to be conscious about myself, meditate or whatever. I was not thinking about my passions, I had joy automatically in my life, no conscious work for it.
I am missing this joyful unconscious life little bit.

Since my PTDS and disease, my passion is ayurvedic medicine and learning something about the psyche, about PTDS mainly.
I also have had a big passion for finding any kind of information about "how to find a partner" (I read all the books etc). Sometimes I still follow some information because it is fun, no heavy stories about disease.
Newly, I try to learn passion for my body (don´t forget the body) -be fine with doing nothing, just sitting, listening to the nature, watching the sky, take a bath as a spa and have joy in it.
Being more consciously sensual with my body (which is tough, it feels sometimes boring, but I try it). Thank you very much, Svava, for encouraging me to continue taking the spa.
I am thinking I could have some passion for the little girl in me, passion for the self-compassion (it does not feel boring, but as a hard, hard work, but it works, it gives me joy and safety: mainly the hand on the chest).
Much love.

Svava

8/14/2016 12:08:56 pm

Thank you for sharing Kristina. I can relate to your sharing and I am sure others reading it can too. Healing is a mixed blessing. We learn about ourselves and others that we were not aware of. Yes, there are people that will feed of and take advantage of our passion or try to push it down or make us wrong for it. Those people are not comfortable with someone being different than them. It is threatening to them. These are the people we learn over time to stay away from and not share our passion with. They only feed of it for their good, not to share and encourage you to keep going. Keep going sweet lady. The more you focus on yourself care the closer you get to finding the key to your passion and how you can integrate it into your way of life. It takes time - follow the peace, joy and self-love. Those thing no one can take away from you. Your passion will always feed you first... the rest goes into the overflow for others.. I am so grateful for your sharing and writing. You are a gifted writer and do such a great job of writing out your thoughts and experiences. I love to read it. Sending you lots of love and light...

8/19/2016 05:08:07 am

Thank you very much, Svava !

What’s Your Passion in Life?

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