How do you feel about having your feelings? Does the thought of it make you feel uneasy, even scared? You are not alone.
For most survivors of child abuse, the thought of expressing or allowing ourselves to feel what we have been hiding for so long is terrifying. Victims of abuse saw all kinds of violence and abuse take place around them and they knew instinctively that it was not safe to feel any of it, so victims shut it down and push it away.
It was not safe to talk about or to feel. Period. When children don't have the safety they need to talk about what happened, they turn it onto themselves. The repressed anger and fear turns into shame that feeds the part of you that feels responsible for what happened and that you caused it to happen.
And though the repression might have kept you safe at the time, it is now the thing that is preventing your healing. In order to heal from our childhood, we have to learn to feel our feelings. There is just no way around it. Shame can hold survivors hostage for a long time. It is also the part of you that will come up to stop you when you feel ready to make some changes in your life, talk about what happened, and perhaps learn how to feel your feelings.
So where do we start? We start with learning where we have stored the feelings and the energy that we felt along with them. It is in our bodies. With a safe person, you learn to scan your body for where you are holding this feeling. Once you find it, you can gently let it know you are here to acknowledge the feeling, helping it to be seen and heard. It may be scared but it does want to be seen by you. Take as long as you need to sit with this feeling. Let the feeling and your body know that you are not going to rush it and no matter what the feeling is, it is not wrong or bad for feeling that.
I invite my clients to put a hand on their hearts to support their body and their heart and feel the support for themselves. If that feels like too much, just talk gently in a soft voice to your feeling, let it feel your presence and kindness. Then as you feel it, intentionally let it go in a way that feels meaningful to you. Imagine driving it out through your feet into the earth. Or perhaps sending it away with the wind, giving it to God, writing it on piece of paper, and burning it in the fire.
There are so many ways we can explore feeling and honoring our feelings. It is important. It is your truth. And the more you say your truth, the more it sets you free.
Ready to tackle the impact of your trauma? Not sure where to start? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($100). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!
Have you read my new book, “Releasing Your Authentic Self”? If you’re ready to do the deep, hard work of emotional healing, this book is for YOU!! You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link). Enjoy and happy reading!
Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self” If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.