Survivors often ask me if there’s a way to speed up the healing process. The fact that the healing journey takes so long can be frustrating, I know. Especially when you’re exhausted from struggling with the aftereffects of child sexual abuse. You’re ready to change. You’re ready to heal. And you want it NOW!!
I’ve been there. Trust me. I used to feel the same way, and I still get impatient from time to time. However, it’s important to understand the need for “speed” is part of your trauma pattern. It’s a coping skill you know all too well as a result of the abuse.
A sense of urgency is part of the “fight or flight” survival response. It’s how your brain responds to change or a threat. This is a normal, healthy response. But, in your case, it became chronic and toxic due to the abuse you endured as a child. Because of that, when something is uncomfortable (even a good change), you want to push through it quickly.
What I have learned over the years is the good stuff, like incorporating a healthy habit, develops slowly over time. That’s because good changes occur in stages.
Here’s what I mean. Change is initially a mental exercise, so the first stage is governed by willpower and excitement. In the second stage, you create a routine to support this new change, which helps you deal with emotional resistance.
By the time you progress to the third stage, this new change has become a lifestyle. But that only happens after you confront and resolve each area of resistance you encounter in the second stage. You must look those fears in the eye, assure your inner child he/she is safe, and convince this child the new change is good. Only then can you make peace with the resistance and work through it.
See? There’s no way around it. This entire process takes time. You can’t fast-forward through the second stage by leaping from the first stage to the third. That’s not how it works. Yes, big changes take months or years. But that’s the beauty of living in the moment. Practice mindfulness during this process. Celebrate each healing stage. It’s worth it, and so are you!!
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Are you struggling with a sense of urgency and impatience on your healing journey? I can help you resolve these issues and take the next step. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!
Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
I’ve been there. Trust me. I used to feel the same way, and I still get impatient from time to time. However, it’s important to understand the need for “speed” is part of your trauma pattern. It’s a coping skill you know all too well as a result of the abuse.
A sense of urgency is part of the “fight or flight” survival response. It’s how your brain responds to change or a threat. This is a normal, healthy response. But, in your case, it became chronic and toxic due to the abuse you endured as a child. Because of that, when something is uncomfortable (even a good change), you want to push through it quickly.
What I have learned over the years is the good stuff, like incorporating a healthy habit, develops slowly over time. That’s because good changes occur in stages.
Here’s what I mean. Change is initially a mental exercise, so the first stage is governed by willpower and excitement. In the second stage, you create a routine to support this new change, which helps you deal with emotional resistance.
By the time you progress to the third stage, this new change has become a lifestyle. But that only happens after you confront and resolve each area of resistance you encounter in the second stage. You must look those fears in the eye, assure your inner child he/she is safe, and convince this child the new change is good. Only then can you make peace with the resistance and work through it.
See? There’s no way around it. This entire process takes time. You can’t fast-forward through the second stage by leaping from the first stage to the third. That’s not how it works. Yes, big changes take months or years. But that’s the beauty of living in the moment. Practice mindfulness during this process. Celebrate each healing stage. It’s worth it, and so are you!!
********
Are you struggling with a sense of urgency and impatience on your healing journey? I can help you resolve these issues and take the next step. Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me. My calendar is filling up fast, so don’t wait. Let me help you heal your life. Reserve your spot NOW!
Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my empowering monthly newsletter and an email with a link to my weekly blog post, click here: http://www.educate4change.com/
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